I have sought out some good support groups lately as I feel it can only help. The ones I have found have been good for me but I have noticed something.
A lot of caregivers write about crying a lot. That is totally understandable especially as I read further and find out just how much they have to do. They make my job look easy (and in a lot of ways it is). But you can't really compare caregiving, I think. I have a bigger load than someone with an "easier" loved one, who is able to drive and a lot more money in the bank, but a lighter load than a woman who may have an autistic child, a stroke victim husband, and a dementia parent.
But they write about crying and I'm like, when did I stop? I'm not sure. I remember crying a lot when we put Gravy down a few years ago but that's the last time I really let myself go. I think that is sad.
I just have it in my head that I am weak and emotionally unstable when I cry. That it is a sign of my illness. An embarrassing sign of weakness. I can't seem to shake that thinking. I wonder how hard I need to battle that. After all, I don't want to be this weeper... but it can't be healthy to cork it up, either.
Which is one reason I am in a couple of support groups now. To help teach me to cope better. That's a therapy I can manage right now.
Now I don't want this to be "Oh, Ah, Poor Pitiful Me" post. Lots of caregivers have it a lot worse. I just need to adapt my coping techniques, and I admit that. I should be crying on a regular basis now and then. I think.
Ron has been doing very well the last couple days, I will work on some physical therapy with him tomorrow and see how that goes. He wants to be able to get in/out of wheelchair and off/on toilet OK. We all want that!
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