Very early Monday

Well I had a big drop in readership which is fine if it means the bullies are gone.  Maybe they are getting the message.  

I am truly fine with that.  I haven't even checked my stats in a month.  

I had to take a headache pill last night which = caffeine so I didn't sleep well.  Ron didn't sleep either.  So we are up early I'm not worried I slept in yesterday.  

I was chatting with my nephew on Facebook just now.  Ron has an older sister, she had 3 boys, one of them is about my age and really cares for Ron, a nice guy.  He had to get some fast talking for me to accept he wasn't out to "get" me but I like him and it is good to have one family member in our corner.  

It is interesting, he looks a lot like Ron which makes me think that may be how our son would have looked, if we'd had kids.  Can you imagine if Ron got me pregnant now?  I would have to choose.  Sounds odd but if the baby was disabled I would keep it because I would always doubt anyone could love it right.  If it was normal I would have less trouble giving it up.  

But I take depakote which has a horrible birth defect for a male fetus.  The penis doesn't grow right.  That would be pretty horrific.  Which is why I would go on some sort of birth control if something happened to Ron, so we would have absolutely NO chance of pregnancy on my medication.  

Because you just don't know.  If I got attacked I would take the hormone treatment for that reason.  I have thought of this.  

Anyway, I need to get going pretty soon, take my shower, give Ron his bath, get him dressed.  Happily we are not going to work so he can wear his sandals, a lot easier to dress him like that.  I am debating using the bathing cloths (disposable) or a "washrag" (Ron's term).  I am leaning toward the latter. 

I will probably need to run a load of clothes later today.  I still have a decent amount of Tide detergent so I don't need to buy some.  If I am ambitious I will go shopping after I get Ron home from the bank today.  He seems to need the most help between 5-7 PM so I think it's OK to leave him during the middle of the day.  He would be outraged if I arranged for help.  

And that is a huge thing I can always use - help with Ron.  I can't tell you how AWESOME it would be to hear "I would like to stay with Ron sometime while you go out and have fun".  Oh I would love you forever for that.  Because I do worry I would find him on the floor.   They could hang out on the couch and watch TV on my tinyscreen (I have a password on my desktop ever since I found out Chuck was using my computer to watch porn) until I got back.  Drink a Coke out of the fridge, or a water, grab a snack.  That's all I would need.  And Ron might want a drink or a little help getting to the bathroom.  

This is what a church should do.  Instead I got lectures about being addicted to mental illness medication.  Anyway, I can dream.  

The way things are going we are looking at the rapture pretty quick.  I hope you are saved.  What does that mean?  Here is a decent link:  How to get saved.  Rapture ready is also a decent site.  I have been involved with them off and on for about 20 years.  I am not on the message board.  

So, assuming you are right with God He is coming to pluck us out of this insanity before the Antichrist is unleashed, and that will be real hell on earth.  Something to think about.  

And God is not some a-hole in a white robe pointing a finger at you.  He loves you enough he got flogged, tortured, and died for you.  I don't know anyone who would do that for me.  As much as I love Ron I would not take a beating for him.  God doesn't want to send anyone to hell.  But we have to be perfect for Heaven, only Jesus can provide that ticket.  

Please prayerfully think about it.  Be careful looking, though, because there are a lot of bad guys out there who manipulate the Bible.  I will give you a link to Bible Gateway so you can read the Bible for yourself.  One nice thing about them they have reading plans.  Or did, let me look.  

Yeah, they still have it but I had to dig, so I will put up a straight link to reading plans.  Reading plans

I want to see you again one day.  I would hate to get to heaven and find out I helped no one.  

Ron and I just talked, we are going to use part of savings to pay off the credit card.  It is the right call.  But not one we want to make.  But we don't need debt hanging over us.  I would rather wait on my garbage disposal.  

Now I just need to pay the electric and home owner's fee, Dad.  Etc.  But at least we won't have the credit card bill hanging over us every 3rd of the month.  It is the responsible thing to do.  

But it's not fun that's a lot of money.  But I still have the tooth (this all came from my root canal).  

I do think about that sometimes, if I need another root canal is it worth it?  It was an absolutely miserable experience in that chair.  I would rather have 5 minutes of getting a tooth pulled (assuming a back molar) than go through that again, I think.  And they have doctors who can drug me so I won't even remember it (still probably cheaper).  

So we will see how the day goes.  I did give Ron a heads up he is getting a bath in a couple hours, he was fine with that.  He doesn't want to reek.  

I need to take a shower myself.  Ron called the bank and the insurance went through, good to know it didn't get lost.  Another necessary evil but we know they pay now.