Early morning thoughts

One reason I haven't liked my hair long it reminds me of my sister, who always had her straight brown hair very long hanging down.  It was fun when I was a toddler.  

But her cult... ugh.  She had 2 alcoholic, teenage parents.  They were neglectful I'm sure.  And her one grandmother was a paranoid schizophrenic who did not take medication.  "Unstable" is putting it lightly.  

So when a nice older lady offered a comforting shoulder after yet ANOTHER maternal suicide attempt, she fell hard.  They got her living in a household of "believers" within a year, I think.  My Dad tried to stop it but he was not her bio dad.  

My Dad let her have visitation even though she was in the cult and always dragging me to "church".  I guess she thought enough exposure would crack my shell and I would join.  But there's a reason I am a confirmed Presbyterian, I prefer a more regulated style of worship.  

I'm just not up for complete strangers screaming AMEN in my face, or people screaming Oh Lord Jesus AGAIN AND AGAIN during the service at the top of their lungs because they have misinterpreted the Bible verse about calling on the Lord (once!) to be saved.  

I was OK with the home church and sitting around taking turns reading from the Bible, though, even though they had a different Bible, which I don't agree with.  But she is completely enmeshed in the cult.  

I think a lot of the glow has worn off but she is stuck now she has wasted her life on it.  Now she's just another bitter divorcee sitting in a hoarded apartment.  

I would hope my faith has made me a better person, stronger and more able to deal with whatever life throws at me.