I haven't heard any good reviews on those cooling mattress pads otherwise I might consider buying one. I got up, did not do my God Time (will later), took a shower, got Ron cleaned up and about to dress him when the pain doctor texted us they would be calling today instead of having him come in for the appointment.
That changed things. I had Ron call the bank and verify he had enough money to get me on my errands today, once we settle with the pain doctor. I am not paying to go to work, I'm just not. He said he did and I'm happy.
My plan, once he's settled, go to work, mail my consent form so my aunt can make my psych appointments (she is a lot busier than I am), stock, do an inventory, call in the soda delivery, run some errands, and come home.
Tuesday will likely be spent going to Walmart. That's it. But today will be busy.
I woke up with a headache and took something, stayed around 200 mg caffeine so far. I have been doing about 500 mg but I will have some soda at work. That will likely get me up around 300 mg total. Plan is to taper off to zero at least some days of the week.
I read a really sad thing in my menopause group, a woman was finally ready to try for kids and she is in menopause. She was really broken up about it, and another woman said she had the same problem.
I was telling Ron, other races have children when they are young but whites tend to wait until their late 30's, early 40's to try for kids. And a lot of times they do not get the kids. But they are so fertile in their 20's and 30's they have to use birth control.
I haven't had any blood tests but I have a series of very normal symptoms for early/mid menopause. And I am OK with it I didn't want kids. I wanted them in the right situation, where I had an awesome upbringing and had a bank of good data on how to be a loving parent; I had a loving, supportive spouse; neither of us had genetic issues. I mean, just the mental illness is a horrible deal killer. It is RAMPANT in both sides of my family I would never put that on a child.
I seem to have gotten all of it for my generation, to my knowledge no one else my age in the family has any issues other than some very normal emotional issues re: childhood, later life divorce, and a felony assault on the family member. I believe that one is in therapy. Who wouldn't? But bipolar with schizo like I have? As far as I know I'm it.
I am not a geneticist but it seems to me the crazy one is going to have afflicted offspring. And I'm not putting that on any child EVER it is a horrible burden. If it had just been a chance of a blind child, that's one thing (Ron's contribution) but mentally ill, like that? No, never.
If I did get pregnant somehow I would have it but I would always worry.
At any rate I need to get going for work.
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