Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Tuesday

 I went to the warehouse, got my supplies.  I had enough left over to buy a couple sodas and my ride home.  

Jack told me he had an appointment at 2 so I hurried, I got it all stocked but I didn't take any breaks.  I got it all done in time.  I told everyone how God had provided all the clothes for me, at the thrift store.  

We had time (and I still had the better part of a McDonald's gift card) so we went through a McD drive through.  Jack didn't hear me right so he ordered me 2 double cheeseburgers plus my McChicken, but when I heard it I didn't argue because one could be breakfast.  

ALWAYS such a blessing to have ready food.  We got through there pretty quick and then off to the house.  I ate my chicken sandwich and took my pills, then took a nap for about an hour and a half.  I woke up depressed but not extreme.  Things are just going to suck for a while.  

I got up, my aunt had a question about something for probate so I gave her the information.  She told me about her Doctor appointment (good) and said the cremation place had gotten the final papers to do Ron so he will likely be done tonight or tomorrow night, it's not a big facility and I know they want his space.  

I finished my God time (the intercessory prayer including praying for YOU) outside in the sun.  I called my brother back, he is worried.  He has lost people close to him so he gets it.  His cats are doing well now.  

My Dad is going to call me at some point.  Like my aunt, he has a very busy calendar.  I will see if he squeezes me in.  😛

I didn't "feel" like it but I felt I should at least try on some of my new clothes as the thrift shop didn't have a fitting room.  I managed to score several 24WP items which is exactly my pant size.  They all fit great.  I put them in the laundry room (I did one bag today, that will be a washer load).  I will try on the rest tomorrow.  They are all fantastic and the purse is perfect, huge enough for a pair of sneakers but not overly large.  I can wear sneakers to the interview place and then change into dress shoes before I go in the building.  So I got a lot done, happy about that.  

One of my friends I am using for a reference called me today.  I reminded him I will be giving out his number and he was fine with that.  He really feels for me losing Ron "like that".  I like him a lot and trust him to be fair.  

I also plan to use Ron's supervisors in the program as I feel an employer will be most interested in that.  I don't plan to use the other vendor - I may, but not at the top of the list like the other guys.  They will probably appreciate that.  

The machines looked good when I left.  I will be doing another supply run next week prior to the handover.  Ron would want me to finish "clean", the other vendor requested I leave the machines stocked, and the program rules say I have to leave inventory for the next guy.  All good reasons.  

Ron's boss was quite relieved when she called and I told her "I know I am out of the program" she was worried she would have to tell me.  No, I knew when Ron signed up it was only for him.  I did most of the work the last year but that was in Ron's name.   

I am debating how much to do for him when I bring the ashes.  My Dad made a statement I found rather alarming, "Aunt Sally" (his aunt) lost her husband after a long marriage.  She built a shrine to him right before she had her psychotic break, blaming my aunt for God knows what, and just living totally unhinged until she died.  

So now I am thinking, if I do a little corner for him, is that a shrine?  Is that obsessive?  I have flowers on the bookcase and thinking maybe an urn.  Too much?  Or just right.  And which urn if I go that route.  

Here are my contenders:  

https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07B1G98P2/?coliid=I2AW8YPJFEG5M&colid=MEN0OZUC2AU3&psc=1&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

This one has a similar design to our wedding rings with the 3 grooves.  I like it for that.  Also understated and not gaudy (cherubs and all that).  

https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07D4LVWVF/?coliid=II1R1I2JX03UB&colid=MEN0OZUC2AU3&psc=1&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it  This one I like the classy etched cross.  Both are a lot cheaper than the cremation place.  

So if I get an urn it will be one of them.  I can put it next to the flowers on the bookcase.  I was thinking of also doing a photo too but that may be too much.  I only want one photo, the urn, and the flowers.  So maybe too much maybe not.  I don't plan on having a psychotic break (being very diligent about proper food, sleep, medication) though.  

That's it for now.  

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