Thursday morning

 I went to sleep pretty easily, woke up at 1 AM, back to sleep, woke up about 6:30.  The cats get me out of bed yelling for their breakfast.  

I have been thinking some about the cats.  If I lose the house I will have to rehome most of the cats.  I believe the vet would take Biscuit, and he would be happy there except for a strict diet.  He did fine all the times I boarded him there, they are nice and like him.  They would be able to fix him if he got blocked again.  

Baby Girl and Spotty are both pretty social and would be good options, but I would feel horrible doing Baby Girl as she was Ron's cat.  She also growls/hisses/swipes if you pet her too much so probably can't adopt her out.  

Torbie is a sweetie anyone would love her; if I could find a senior cat rescue I think she'd be fine.  Then I have Cleo, who is half feral.  

So it looks like I end up with Baby Girl and Cleo.  They are just less adoptable.  I feel horrible even thinking about this but I have to plan.  I saw an animal cops type show one time a woman was a dog hoarder and had about 50 dogs.  They wanted her to pick 5 dogs to keep the rest were going to adoption.  She wanted to keep a young, sweet, dog and they told her not to, to keep the less desirable dogs because the young dog would be easily adopted.  So she picked a feeble, blind, older dog to keep instead.  

Baby Girl and Cleo would not do well in another home.  They do get along, I saw that last night.  Both have good litter box manners so a landlord would like them too.  

Just trying to cover my bases.  

I am depressed this morning but functional, seems to be the monthly theme.  I am going to take a shower, do my God Time, and then go to the cell phone store to get my phone repaired/replaced.  There is a grocery store I will have a look but will have to only buy what I can bring on the bus.  They do have some very good green tea drink mix which is incredibly light.  It would be nice if I could get on at the store but they weren't hiring.  I will keep "an eye peeled".  I am not going to look until I know I'm clear of the vending business; Thursday (next).  This week I need to work up the resume and finalize the list of references.  I will get it.  

I am not as emotional this week thinking about my job duties.  I was going to do a caregiver resume but I don't think I'm ready for that just yet.  Besides I don't plan to work in caregiving.  

I had a very odd phone call with Ron's friend Ed last night.  He has been calling every week or so, he keeps the blind community posted on what is going on as I process.  He was horrified Ron's family has been so awful to me.  Anyway he was asking me about dating.  It has only been two weeks!  He was disappointed when I told him I planned to wait at least 5 years, and then made some comment about how I could never think about Ron anymore once I was dating a new guy.  Bull.  When I am ready to date, not for a long time and not a guy almost 70 like Ron was - he's going to understand Ron was a huge part of my life.  I won't say never but I am pretty much done with older men, let me tell you.  

I read a comment, I don't believe it but some of it's true - older men want a purse or a nurse.  And won't they get excited when they hear about all I did for Ron.  But, like my grandmother said, I got to enjoy Ron while he was young.  There's a difference between marrying a youngish man and he declines vs. a guy who has already declined and needs assistance right in the marriage.  Not saying "never" but not even thinking in that direction right now.  

The way things are going I expect to be raptured before my 5 years are up, anyway.  In the meantime I need to process my grief and get my head straight.  I may decide I prefer being single like my grandmothers did (both were widowed young, neither remarried).   I may decide I want to remarry.  

If I do remarry he will be a strong Christian, love cats, hard worker, etc.  I will make my list when my 5 years are up.  

But I am dead serious about not dating for a long while.  I think an employer will be glad to hear it, too.  No dramas.  

I am still debating getting an urn or keeping the ashes in their cremation box.  

So, I'm back.  I took the bus up to the cell phone store.  The clerk kept asking me about Ron as his name is also on the account.  It was awkward but I didn't want to tell her he died.  

She said users of older phones have encountered my problem.  They (the company) didn't have a fix.  So I got a new phone (which does get messages).  It is a very nice, very thin, baseline model in rose gold.  It is pretty.  Happily I had Google up in my business so I had a google account on my old phone and everything updated to the new phone - I didn't have to enter a single phone number.  And my pictures are in the Google cloud so I had Ron as well.  

The postal workers passed the hat, raised a little over $100, that bought the new phone set up.  Now I can interview.  The phone was hungry so I have it on the charger.  It has about 10-11 hours talk time per charge not bad.  

Once I finished that up I went to the Middle eastern grill and got a samosa.  I didn't eat it, took it to the grocery store I might work at, and bought some instant tea mix, some chips, and a small package of honey buns.  These were little minis very cute.  I paid, the cashier seemed happy enough, and went out to wait on the bus.  

It was the same bus driver who dropped me, he didn't want any candy either time.  But the cell phone lady, cashier at the grocery store, and samosa guy all did.  I hope God will find me faithful in doing His work.  

I walked home.  The aggressive dog does not bark at other people but goes nuts when it hears me.  I am certain it is the cats, he can smell them on me.  I had my stun gun so not worried.  

I came home, it is nice and sunny, will sit in the sun again as my phone charges inside.  Someone left a message on my phone but they are not in my phone book - just said to call them with no number.  I didn't recognize the voice, either.  So they can call me back, send a text, or leave a message explaining just why they want me to call.  Didn't sound like an employer.  😂

I am running down my old cell phone and will give it to my aunt for her grandkids.  They like to play with dead cell phones pretending to talk on them.  I had one of those old fake telephones, there was a photo of me grinning at it as I picked up the handset, so I can relate.  

But I will need to remove the Uber app or they will be hailing rides!