Consent to cremate forms.

 I would give last night a "C" for sleep.  I woke up and had a hard time getting back to sleep.  I got up pretty early and did my God Time, prayed, Bible study.  I am getting good passages in my reading so I am glad I'm doing it.  

My aunt had to go out of town.  I only had one "big" issue.  I was emailed the consent to cremate forms.  I signed them.  Later on I went back and read them basic stuff like he doesn't have a pacemaker, they are going to get rid of his implants, etc.  But they got the date of death wrong, the third and not the sixth.  So they can fix that I will leave that to her.  I give them permission to cremate and "adjust" him as he is cooking (they were more dignified than that) so he will finish completely, and they are going to grind what is left.  All OK and expected.  There may be some mingling with other remains.  I am also OK with that.  

I am glad I won't open that box when I'm ready to scatter and find his eyes looking back at me.  Just tissue.  Ron always hated the idea of embalming, burial, coffin so I would have had him cremated even if it wasn't cheaper.  

Next week I am going to get down to business.  Set up a budget so I know how much I will need to live, I need to have a number for job interviews they always wanted to know how much I expected/needed.  I will have that number.  Get job references.  I plan to get a longish list and then rotate everyone so the same person isn't called 30 times.  Finish up the business.  That will be enough for next week.  That will all start Monday.  

Go Fund me is doing quite well so I paid my only credit card ($30).  I plan to be very stingy.  When all the photos are scanned my aunt will put them on a flash drive and I would like to get a digital frame for them.  My parents said they would pay for the frame, but first I need to figure out where to put it.  Maybe my bedside table.  

My allergies have been pretty bad but I am using my nasal spray.  It does cause some headaches though.  I have been pretty good about caffeine too.  

Cats are good.  

It is a lovely day partly cloudy and warm.  I have gone outside to sit in my chair a few times.  

My nephew, Ron's,, whatever you want to call him (Brian) is coming sometime but his kid was sick today.  He lost his wife, dad, and two uncles (including Ron) in the last 7 months so it's been a little rough for him.  

I have had an ongoing problem with the door so when the church asked if they could help I told them about it.  Be nice if they get it but it is not a rush.  The inside doorknob falls off when you pull it and I can't see a way to secure it.  I think it was a small piece of metal which broke.  The outside part works fine, locks, opens and closes but visitors are freaking out over the doorknob.  If they want to help here is something you can do.  

I just plan to grieve this weekend.  I have stopped checking in on Ron when I pass the room, I really am glad I got rid of the mattress.  It was on a metal platform, I have one too, that was very comfortable, and his is now folded up in a corner.  I got rid of all his stuff (save a few sentimental items) I feel good about that.  

My aunt had an aunt Sally.  Sally's husband died and Polly helped with various things, Sally had a psychotic break and blamed Polly for all sorts of irrational things.  I'm not going to do that.  Polly is handling a lot and I am very grateful for that.  I don't want to think about all those details right now.  Like the date of death thing.  

She was also required to give them a detailed description of Ron.  I could not - can't - do something like that right now.  I would be a blubbering basket case.  So very grateful for good family.  

I don't expect I will get Ron's photos today (what with the sick kid and all) but if I do it will be nice.  I have been listening to music, have the blinds up and a  few windows open, burning a nice scented candle.  

I am going to get through this but boy does it suck.  Oh I loved that man.