It was a good service, not too long. I am not one for a whole lot of singing and this suited. They had 2 kiddie choirs on zoom that was cute. Plea for fundraising on missions.
I don't talk a lot about charity but I do have autopays. Last year I had to turn off the World Missionary Press autopay I still feel bad about that.
When I am set in my new job I will be resuming that, and also contributing some money to Gospel For Asia's Jesus well program. Ron always felt awful that people in other countries did not have clean water and said he would never take it for granted. I think that would be a good tribute. A modest autopay every month. They set up a well in a poor village with a salvation message printed in the local languages. "Everyone welcome" as some castes in India are not allowed to use public water.
Anyway I will be doing that I prefer to direct my charity dollars because sometimes I don't always agree with the "group" ones.
The sermon was good. They did not do an altar call at the end but Presbyterians often don't. They prefer to have evangelistic events and do the altar call then. The Baptists were like that - where I got saved, Baptist vacation Bible school. They did an invitation the last night. I accepted but was too shy to raise my hand. I used to wonder if that meant I was really saved. Later on I figured I had been because I went home and immediately told my parents I was saved - we are supposed to profess our faith, after we get it, so I'm good.
It took about an hour not bad. So I can tell my Dad it is "on" to go there.
I stayed online for a little while, then finished up my prayer time for everyone, including Ron's family and the man who ran him over. Very important. I don't want to be a hater or some bitter hag like my maternal grandmother. She was, by all accounts, a miserable and hateful woman. I don't want that for my own life. I want to find joy in things.
I laid down for a little while, Cleo and Biscuit joined me and laid down next to each other. Biscuit kneaded me, purring. Heidi called (we exchanged phone numbers some time back) and we talked. She has a nice voice. Nice person too.
It is raining outside (not hard) so I can't sit out in my chair. I could use some fresh air.
I am wearing my Tea Rose perfume. I don't wear it around my aunt because my grandmother wore it and my aunt has said it is an emotional trigger for her. I don't want to make her sad. But she wasn't coming by today anyway so it was OK.
Tomorrow will be busy: go to work. Take the money out, do an inventory. Go to the bank. Go to the crematorium and get "my" ashes. Go to Post Office and maybe Walmart depending on how I am holding up. I will be busy.
Tuesday Jack and I go to Sam's for the last time, get supplies for work, go in and I stock them. Then he takes me home.
Wednesday my aunt picks me up, takes me to work. We close the business. That will be hard emotionally. I remember the day we started it in 2001. It will be hard handing over my keys to the other vendor and then handing over my badge to security as I leave. That door is closing. But God has an AWESOME new door for me I just have to walk down the hall, so to speak.
Thursday I do the last accounting stuff, file the last P&L report with the state, file the sales tax report and out of business date. I told Dad I was thinking of taking a long weekend (Friday to Sunday) after that and he encouraged me to. And this is a guy worked 14 hour days the whole time I grew up.
He asked me if I felt he had become more supportive (I had briefly mentioned a Toby Mac song where he said he wished he had spent more time with the kids) and I said yes, meant it. After I was hospitalized for depression he made very obvious efforts to reach out and let me know I was loved. That never stopped even when we didn't agree.
So I will probably take a long weekend. I also need to get contact information for my references. But that isn't urgent as the serious job hunt starts next week.
So, a long, crazy, week. I will get through it.
One bite at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment