I wrote Ron's nephew a letter basically saying I don't want any contact due to him jerking me around over the death certificate and Ron's photos. That was probably the payoff in his little game because he basically sent me an "oh, bless your heart" type of reply.
But I stood up for myself. I told him I wasn't stupid, I knew his mom would never give me a penny even if I wanted it. (Between us - will it bring Ron back? NO) That she hated me and the family had never done anything to help, I had done it all on my own for 30 years (I rounded up). That I wasn't asking for anything aside from the photos. I also said I was sick of the games and would rather lose Ron's photos than continue to play, and that every smile he saw in those photos I took was directed at me.
He had talked about all the "great" Ron photos he had which must have been the little photo books I gave my mother in law. I know those are the ones he was talking about. I didn't have digital photos back then but that is OK, I had Ron and they did not. They never wanted him.
So he can go tell his mother how I "acted crazy" or whatever and they can justify whatever they are doing. That's fine I don't care about their opinions, certainly not now that Ron is dead. I just said I know you have been playing games and I'm stopping it. I also told him (Ron's sister) could get her own death certificate she is allowed as a sibling. So that's done.
Hopefully I am DONE with the (family name) and all their sick games. This is one reason I never did a funeral. I didn't want THEM showing up. I did say they were welcome to leave the photos on my porch (they have the address) or work something out with my aunt.
I had really hoped at least one of the family was redeemable and gave a damn about Ron. Looks like I was wrong, it is sad but I am moving on. I just don't need this in my life.
I am washing all my thrift store clothes. One of the blouses was almost $20, I missed that but it is very nice. I am just super cheap and probably wouldn't have gone for it if I'd known. But I could afford it and I hate to think what it would have cost new. About $50 based on what I saw with a quick website peek.
One thing I don't get - I am very glad I am functional in all of this. Very glad of this. But I would have expected me to cry a lot more and be more emotional. Instead the day of Ron's death I was calmly discussing his medical history with the providers. My hands were shaking when I tried to write my number but I didn't even cry.
Maybe because it had been coming a long time, his declining health and increasing alcohol usage kind of spelled disaster. We could all see it coming. Just not so quick.
I talked to my aunt. She is a sweet lady but a depressing conversation covering Ron's cause of death, probate, cremation timeline, and death certificates. Kind of hard to be sprightly after that. I feel 100% confident having her handle Ron's estate, and I feel bad that she has to, but I wouldn't know where to start. I was glad I had all the important papers for her and could just hand them over without searching. One thing she hasn't needed was a marriage license I still have that.
It is really sad to think my marriage is over: "'till death" and he's dead so that breaks it. That is really hard. I did promise Ron I would remarry (he asked me to swear I would remarry, back in 1992) but I am waiting at least 5 years before I even think about dating. But I can now that is a very depressing thought. I don't want to date. I want to go in the other room and kiss Ron on his head.
I'm going to go brood for a while.
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