The rest of Tuesday

 I got a lot done today and will end the business in a professional, clean, way.  I am pleased with that.  But it was hard today.  I am suffering another loss, and everything I saw today reminded me of him in some way.  A for instance, one of the custodians has a very jolly laugh Ron loved.  The custodian was laughing today.  People were asking me what I'm going to do.  That's a really good question.  

The other vendor called as I was stocking and wants me to come in earlier tomorrow, my aunt said she can do that.  He mentioned handing over my keys and I almost lost it.  I suspect tomorrow's going to be harder than the day Ron died.  But sufficient for the day is it's own trouble (Matthew 6:34).  I did need to make up a spreadsheet for the inventory and pack up a little calculator.  I did that.  

So Jack picked me up and we went to Sam's, did our shopping.  We were both a little sad as this is the last time.  We got to work and unloaded, I stocked everything.  The machines look good Ron would be happy to leave them like that.  I was pleased.  

I was just having a really sad day but I feel satisfied how I am leaving things.  I called Jack and he picked me up, we went to Little Cesars as I had a gift card.  I wanted the little lunch pizza but all they had were the big ones, so I got a big one.  I was hungrier than I thought and ate almost half of it.  I haven't had much of an appetite since Ron died.  I took my medication of course and took a nap.  

I slept for about an hour, got up, no headache.  I finished the spreadsheet and set up everything for tomorrow.  I need to bring the bill counter in the house that is all.  I am going to leave a lot of supplies, my toolbox, etc. because I don't see me doing any vending for quite a while.  And I got the tools at Walmart anyway.  The set of picks was very useful for coin jams.  

I took a shower tonight so I don't have to do one tomorrow.  I am just going to hang out for a couple of hours and let my hair dry naturally.  Just thinking about a hair dryer reminds me of the time Ron used to use one to turn on a computer we had.  It had a bad contact in the power supply so he would direct the hair dryer at the power supply for a couple of minutes and it turned on every time.  It always shocked people who came over but he was so smug, cackling, as he hit that button and it clicked on.  He also used to use it to defrost something at work, I forget what exactly.  

One thing I said to Jack "I am pretty sure the last words I said to Ron were that I loved him"  "They were" he replied "Remember I was right there (while you spoke to him)"  That is good to know and very kind of him to say.  

I will call my Dad a little later I had a small crying session.  And of course I had moved my hankies.  

I did my God Time this morning and also read "Let's Praise the Lord" my little Scripture booklet of Bible verses praising God.  I think it is important to praise God in bad times.  And He has taken good care of me in this.  I am particularly impressed with the grace He has given me in my grief I would have thought I would be useless and inconsolable.  But I am holding up OK I think.  

That's it for now.