Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Wednesday afternoon

 Ron's nephew apparently read the blog post where I repeated Ron calling him ignorant.  He was very upset from what I saw, I didn't read the whole message and figured out a way to turn off getting them from him now.  Also, if you spy on someone you are likely to find things you don't like.  

Ron loved his family but he didn't much respect them, except his Dad (I loved his Dad).  Bill, my older stepbrother, used to say "Only the truth hurts".  I also found it more than a little disturbing the nephew was reading the blog.  It's not like any of them actually care about my well being.  

Well I have cut off contact now so that should be it.  I can live without the photos.  Ron would not want me getting hurt (going to use some slang) "behind" his pictures.  He would want me to move on.  Ron would probably not want me to keep the pictures I do have but I will.  

One last thought: if Ron said he was going to do something he did it.  He probably would have done it at the last minute 😂 but he would have done it; he wouldn't have played games.  I am sorry I let them do that at all.  

I miss him horribly.  I got rid of 95% of his stuff but I did keep the photos, his digital recorders (which should have his voice on them), and some blankets.  Also some cards from his wallet, an old ID card, his Metrolift card, etc.  I can put them in my wallet.  

I plan to keep my name.  Ron wanted me to have it and was proud for me to have it.  I do get a little tired of spelling it out every time I give it to someone.  I give the name and then spell it.  But I have to do the same thing with my street name and I'm not moving (I hope).  

I took a nap slept about an hour which is great, woke up with a headache which is not.  I decided to take aspirin and a Diet Dew.  We will see I do feel better.  I don't want to take the Bubital because I may have drug tests.  I would rather present as someone who does not have any issues than well sometimes I get these really bad headaches - not quite as employable you know.  

Ron had a dread terror of "sickly" employees.  While we had two major smokers they didn't let it affect them.  They did take a little longer to get over colds, though.  Pretty impressive as both ladies were in their 40's.  

Biscuit slept with me during my nap curled up at my side, very cute.  He is adorable.  My stepmother is quite eager to meet the cats but I doubt she will see Biscuit.  He is quite timid and all those strangers running a code on Ron as he lay dead didn't help.  Cleo is also timid, won't see her.  Will likely see: Baby Girl, Torbie, maybe Spotty.  I will make sure to get some delicious wet food she can feed them, which says "I'm a good person".  I have treats at each loveseat as well.  

Dad the cat hater gets a spray bottle he can use if anyone gets close.  I can see Torbie trying to charm him and Dad would hate that.  But hopefully Mom + Torbie can pair up for a little bit.  Torbie likes visitors.  Baby Girl may also make an appearance.  She has a cat tree she likes, over by the bear, one of those ones I got a couple years ago with one apartment on top of another and then a nice big top with a lip.  She likes the top.  

Ron's friend Ed called during my nap, I will call him back later.  I also need to call my parents.  

My aunt called she will be busy with grandchildren for a few days.  My phone, phone, still works (having problems opening texts) so I don't think I need to go to the store.  I can get there on the bus if I need.  As long as I can get the call "You got the job, come in for an interview, etc" I am not worried.  

I have a hamburger for dinner tonight.  Not the most exciting but it's filling and I can take my pills.  I have a lot of pot pies still in the freezer too.  I've always liked pot pies since I was a little kid and those new "bowls" that crisp the pastry in the microwave are awesome.  I don't have a lot of salty/sweet snacks but I don't "need" them, and, again, I can always go on the bus if I want.  I think I will do that tomorrow if it doesn't look like rain (did look like rain all day today and the heater ran several times as well).  I hate moody overcast at least right now.  The day Ron died it was lovely weather, partly cloudy, lots of sun, warm.  I had the door propped open for hours because I just felt confined and it helped.  I also worried about odor but Ron was pretty fresh when they took him.  

It will probably do me good to get out of the house as well.  I remind myself it has only been a couple weeks and it will get easier as time passes.  But it's a long road.  

That's it for now.  

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