Tuesday

 I went to work today, and I heard from the coroner.  

They haven't found a cause of death, which, I suppose, means they ruled out everything obvious.  I think his heart just stopped.   He was ready to go and God was ready to take him.  

Speaking of going that means Ron goes to the cremation place next and it will be about a month they said.  New COVID rules or something "It used to go a lot faster" per the lady my aunt talked to.  But he's dead waiting isn't going to hurt him.  

But I can't help but think how he hated to be cold, loved the thermostat at 85 degrees.  And now he's in a refrigerator and will be for maybe a month.  I really have to fight the impulse to get him a blanket.  

So I went to Sam's and a couple of employees cheerfully asked me about Ron.  They were not expecting the answer.  Went to work same thing "How's Ron?"  "Dead".  I wasn't that abrupt but I didn't pussyfoot.  Everyone was very nice at both places.  

I only had 2 unpleasant conversations, both at work.  One woman asked me how long I had "abandoned" Ron when I told her I had stepped out to run an errand.  Another guy told me he knew Ron died of COVID and I told him the morgue said no.  And that was a really strange experience discussing Ron's autopsy at work, let me tell you.  I got everything stocked and left.  

I had Jack go through the McDonald's drive through on the way home.  Someone from the church called while I was sitting on the couch, a half eaten McChicken in my hand.  And as I spoke to her, they have a "shut in" ministry so they will take all the adult diapers and stuff, Torbie got up on the couch and started eating my sandwich!  She has never eaten people food in 8 years but she was sure licking that sandwich.  

Then my aunt and uncle came by I had to sign a release form for his body.  She also had some questions.  I debated putting this out there but I will.  

Ron did not want to be black.  Officially.  He had himself down as either White (ID card) or Mixed on all other paperwork.  But apparently you can't die "mixed" you have to die something.  We figured out Ron can go out as "Other, Creole" he would be fine with that and it is all true.  

My aunt also said she had to describe Ron to the crematorium so they make sure they get the right body.  That would have been pretty awful for me to do.  I am glad I just threw that all in her lap.  

And of course the depression is coming I can feel it.  I am surprised it took this long.  I am going to take a shower tonight so I am ready out of the box tomorrow.  Showering is one thing that's really hard for me when depressed.  I don't skip it, it just takes a lot out of me.  

I will be really glad when the trash guys pick up his old mattress it is so depressing to see it.  But I stayed within the boundaries I only have 4 items per our contract.  Mattress, his old dresser, a trash bag, and a garbage can.  The garbage can is pretty heavy so I don't want to put the bag into it.  

And all the home care stuff is going away soon I don't know when but I got a taker.  Assisted living home or something like that - a good cause.  Ron is very happy he doesn't need any of that anymore.  I am happy for him of course and I am very happy my work is done as well.  

I am going to take my shower while I still have some energy.