Sunday

 Ron was definitely a hoarder.  When my aunt arrived we went through his room and tossed a lot.  Someone came by and I gave him (he is blind) the Bibles on CD.  But the old batteries, headphone covers, bits of junk all got tossed.  His room looks much better now.  I have his talking book stuff packed up to go back to Austin.  I also called the talking book program and told them to disenroll him.  

Metrolift was pretty distraught when I told the dispatchers Ron was gone.  The one lady was almost in tears and then a very agitated supervisor called me back a few minutes later.  I confirmed yes he was gone and she was very mournful.  That is impressive considering Ron hadn't really used the service in over a year.  

My aunt is quite eager to rip out the carpet in Ron's room what is left is not salvageable.  I did appropriate his keyboard with a good space bar.  He doesn't need it.  

It was nice tossing his hearing aids and knowing he doesn't need them anymore.  That seems to be the theme for the day.  

My aunt is "Acts of Service" love language (as was Ron).  Jack came by and brought a pizza and cold soda, that was very nice.  Also acts of service.  I have gotten a couple of love offerings which is very sweet considering my future is very precarious.  I know God has me but the next little bit will be rough.   

If I let myself I will never climb out of that pit of worry.  I will need to figure out a way to balance what I need to do with what I can't control.  A lot of it goes to employment, then the house.  Once I get those two I will be stable.  God knows what I need and how to make that happen.  

First we have to get Ron autopsied and cremated.  I will hang onto the ashes for a while.  I don't want a fancy urn or anything.  

I meant it when I said I will not be dating for a very long while.  I had a dream about Ron last night he was trying to hug me but there was something wrong with his skin.  I kept telling him he was dead.  

Biscuit slept with me last night and also took a very short nap with me this afternoon.  He's a very good boy I guess he is my husband now.  I am still wearing my wedding band I don't see that changing any time soon.  

I have plenty of food so I don't have to worry about that.  I have a decent amount of cat food as well.  I just need to pay the utility bills this week.  Not sure how bad that electric bill is going to be.  

Anyway depression is coming so I am going to sign off for now.