I hope I can avoid a repeat of history.
Ron has had a better appetite lately and is actually asking for food. He won't eat much but I do feed him as much protein as I can. He has also said he will drink some V-8.
Ron likes to eat in bed, sitting up, with the food between his legs.
Last night he wanted a fried chicken dinner, which came with a gravy. After I gave it to him he said he didn't need help, I left the room. After I left he picked it up but he has trouble holding things level, tipped scalding hot gravy all over his right thigh. I did not know about this because he sent me out of the room after I brought the food.
Suffice to say he has a burn on his leg, not far from his groin. Thank God it did not burn his privates. He didn't even know about this because his leg is partly numb from the stroke.
Of course I feel horrible. Clearly I will need to get him a bed table. I can put it up on the bed, bring the food, put it away when he's done.
Ron says it is no big deal, not important, etc. [sigh] I just hope it doesn't get infected.
The last time something like this happened: Ron, neuropathy (his herbal remedy is helping a lot with that). He was using a back massager so excessively he was creating friction blisters. If they stayed closed they healed OK but if they broke they got infected.
We were dealing with this at home because Ron was adamant he was not giving up the massage device. Then he had a couple close to his groin that got infected.
I found a local dermatologist, figured that would be a good bet, and we went. The doctor knew Ron's Deaf cousin and they talked a little. Then the doctor examined Ron, took one look at him, turned to me, and said 'YOU'VE BEEN BURNING HIM!"
Hell no! And a big dose of "OH, SHIT" because I did not want to be on the bad end of an abuse investigation. Doc put me out of the room and interrogated Ron, who did not take this seriously until the doctor said he would have to "keep" Ron until an investigator came out, or something like that (I was out in the hall).
Ron said HELL NO this is my wife she would never hurt me like that (I have said things I shouldn't but I have never touched him in anger, worst you can say is been frustrated getting him off the floor or into bed but never hurt him). He persuaded the doctor to let it go, explained they were friction blisters from the massage thing, etc.
Doc brought me back into the room, no apology. "How have you been treating this?" I told him. He was OK with the treatment plan and wrote a script for an antibiotic, which is all we wanted.
We never went back. SO really hoping I do not have to deal with an infection, I will peroxide that rascal as much as possible and should also use that spray on stuff too.
And I am sure someone will cry abuser at me because I did walk away and leave Ron with hot food, but I honestly thought he was OK. He was more concerned about getting gravy and corn all over the sheets (head in hands) than he was about the burn.
Agh. I will learn and get something from Amazon.
I will talk to Ron and get something from Amazon. No point in buying something if it doesn't work.
Today I got him to eat a about 9 chicken nuggets. I had some sauce cups I had been given by a delivery man so I offered those with the nuggets, Ron was happy. He got some sauce on his leg which is now I noticed the burn.
I am going to go take a nap, my headache is finally gone, I cleaned the boxes, helped Ron search for his keys (still no luck) and fed him.
Oh, what a day.
Biscuit is sleeping by my foot so precious and cute, he has just enough room between the computer desk and the exercise bike. And I get to keep him!
11 comments:
Not going to shame you. We know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt Ron.
Would he eat in his wheelchair with an attachable tray? Or pull a tray up. Like a high chair? Lol he could keep it in his room but could help keep the mess out of the sheets (gag)
I think if he went to a nursing home, they would expect him to wheel himself to the dining room. If he can get to the kitchen for alcohol, he should eat there too.
A bed tray can tip too. You need to purchase a bedside table on wheels, that slides under the bed. You are going to need it many times and likely he will love it.
A hospital bedside table with wheels that go under the bed would be best.
There is a space issue in the room. When he was in the rehab hospital (basically a nursing home) they brought him his food on a tray every day. After watching him eat I'm pretty sure they didn't want him around the other residents.
I will have to talk to him about it.
Well, if space is the issue, you can't properly care for him. The table slides under the bed and can be pushed to the bottom of the bed between uses. This isn't a space issue, it's people needing to adjust to reality.
It's where does the thing go when it's not under the bed. He has a small bedroom (wanted that one). There is room for the twin, a table with computer, dresser, a chair, and the wheelchair. Remember we always have the footprint of the wheelchair everywhere we go.
When he is in the hospital it is always so odd to pass the room and no wheelchair. That is the problem with the kitchen and bathroom, if he's there I can't be. Very frustrating when he wants to linger in the kitchen.
We have a very small house with small bedrooms. We have a pretty spacious front room up there, I would put Ron there if he needed equipment that didn't fit the bedroom, but just not a big floorplan.
And that is fine, we love the house.
That is OK, we have pretty low utility bills.
Just remove all the boxes and debris from his room and I’m sure you can find a spot for a small side table that pulls up. I have a small one. Search table mate II on amazon.
We’ve seen video of his room and if you remove all the clutter you could make space for a table
You're forgetting 2 things:
1. He likes it the way it is and gets very hostile when I go in with the intent to clean/organize. If asked, I am happy to help, I have done a lot in there actually.
2. He has said HE DOESN'T WANT A TABLE.
Ron and I have a deal, we don't shove things on each other "for your own good". It is one reason we have lasted so long together.
I will simply let the TV dinner cool down a couple minutes before I serve it. :)
OMG OK THEN IF HE DOESNT WANT A TABLE THEN LET HIM BURN.
You don't need to scream. He is very stubborn, I have lived with it for 27 years now. Over a year after being told he had multiple vitamin deficiencies he is finally taking a multi every day but it had to come from him. I need to give it to him, in fact.
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