A little about bipolar disorder

Ron has chided me on occasion for making assumptions and he is right on occasion.  I have made one here, I have assumed that the bulk of you understand concepts like
manic
depressed
mixed
rapid cycling etc. 

I assumed you would understand about bipolar disorder because you are reading my life.  One reader's genuine bafflement at a classic manic episode has shown a need. 

So I will start at the foundation.  I do not see myself as a great educator and I am battling a horrible depression, but I will do my best. 

Your average person is at a level 5.  Sometimes the mood goes up to a 6 or a 7, sometimes the mood goes down to a 3. 

A depressed person the mood goes down to zero or even below.  The depressed person has trouble even bathing (me, today), cleaning, doing food prep or taking care of "basic" life functions.  I would imagine they generally have a "filthy" house. 

If I did a video blog with my house the way it is now there'd be uproar.  So the depressed person is slower, quieter, "dirtier" for lack of a better phrase.  This is my current state right now. 

A manic person is a 10+, everything in life is great.  I remember my brother in law was very baffled at a mania right before Ron was discharged.  I was 100% confident everything was going to be OK and I would do a great job by him. 

Some things a manic person does a lot: post to their blog (!), talk a lot on the phone or in person, text a lot, spend money.  Sex freak!  The men love that in a manic woman and always such a disappointment when she goes depressed.  We don't just do this, we do it to the extreme.  You can do more research on this.  I have undertaken huge fitness projects like running my half marathon and starting kettlebells. 

So why was I so able to do all the fitness activities some time ago?  Because I was manic.

In fact, when my Dad asked me how long it took me to fix up the garage, I replied "3-4 manias".  Because we have a duration on all this energy and creativity and we had damned well better USE it before the depression comes back like a horrible axe over my head. 

Generally a type one (type two only runs depressed and normal) goes from one extreme to the other with periods of normal in between.  I have a severe variation of this known as "rapid cycling" which means I can go manic to depressed several time in a day, week, or year.  I can also be up and down at the same time, I am, somewhat, today. 

I also get the "schizo" on top of that with fun things like delusions, paranoia, hallucinations all on top of the other symptoms.  This is all very genetic in my family and may I say I am so glad it's ending at me.  No way would I inflict even some of this on my offspring. 

All this results in a double handful of pills every day to control and manage my symptoms.  And overall they do a good job.  My doctor told me "I can't keep you from going up and down but we can keep it to a reasonable level".  And this is far better than what I had before.  I am OK.  My family seem OK, Ron is OK with my moods now. 

I am getting more, hormonal, migraines in addition to the ones I get from my medication.  That also impairs me, I can have a good mania but be stuck in bed with a crippling headache.  Then it is wasted and that is always a shame. 

I try to keep a list of things I need to do the next time I get manic, and do it.  If I have a short lived mania I might burn it out doing cat care, or giving Ron a bath, doing some laundry, or all of it and then back to normal (tired). 

If you want more detail on this I really suggest reading "The Bipolar Survival Guide" I found it very helpful.  One thing he addressed was the importance of sleep, getting enough, consistently, so you can regulate your moods better.  Ron never read any books on bipolar disorder, he felt he had "read" enough in me. 

I will never forget his joy some days after I started my lithium (the heavy hitter).  He raced over to me (he could walk back then), embraced me, and screamed "You're back!  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" 

That says it all.