Saturday, September 28, 2019

Saturday

Pete has been a really big help to us, over the years.  Sometimes you just find someone and they adopt you... that is pretty much what happened with him (similar to when my aunt met me after Ron's accident, she just took me under her wing).  He made a lot of repairs to the house and basically kept us in it.

He had help from a church, he got us attending the church.  Today he asked why we don't attend anymore.  1.  No one has offered us help with a ride.  I have told you how, when I was a teenager, we used to go pick up the blind lady and take her to church every week, I thought all churches did that.  Not this one, apparently.  He wasn't happy to hear it - but we are sort of between three churches (Woodlands, West, and Houston).  I can see why no one is in the area, we accept it.

Second I told him about the drug thing.  He didn't believe me.   He saw I was serious and said I needed to get in touch with the pastor and get it clarified.  Because surely it was wrong.  I said I would ask - I have meant to, off and on over the years, but the attitude has been pretty plain and to be honest I wasn't looking forward to being called a spiritually weak addict again.

So I wrote the pastor a letter so he will know what Pete is talking about tomorrow.

I was asked why I'm not attending and I had a couple of answers to that.  One, transportation remains a huge issue for me and Ron, especially as he cannot travel far with his back.  So he can't go to the downtown church.  

Secondly I have seen a theme I don't like in some of your sermons regarding mental illness medication.  You have implied that all users of mental illness drugs are addicts, need to stop taking it, etc.  As someone who takes a literal handful of the stuff every day - exciting things like antipsychotics - do you really want me in your sanctuary off my antipsychotic?  

ALL mental illness issues are spiritual in nature?  Why, then are they improved my "tune ups" from my doctor?  Why then, are none of my pills addictive?  They make me fat, sick, foggy headed, tired, etc. but they do not make me high.  To put it very bluntly, they stop me from killing myself.  

Yet the last several times I have attended there has been a mini lecture about mental illness drugs.  How people have to stop using them.  I understand some get addicted to things like Ritalin, anxiety medication, sleeping pills, etc.  Yet that is only a small part of the drugs prescribed.  When I was given anxiety and sleeping pills I REFUSED them, I wouldn't even take them from the pharmacist.  I feel bad enough about having to take them without the "addiction" lecture, which is very harmful to anyone with a condition who needs medication.  We don't want to take it to begin with, it brands us "crazy" and it is very harmful to call us addicts on top of that.  

Lastly I did not appreciate you sending Justin out to lecture Ron and I about our marriage, of all things.  Ron continues to drink, he has his reasons.  He does not "make" me depressed as he was told.  Caregiving in general takes a toll but I take time to unwind.  I do not help him drink.  I continue to blog.  He knows bad behavior will end up in the blog and that has greatly reduced many of his blackouts.  If I "covered" him as instructed I am pretty sure anyone would call that "enabling" and I will not do that.  

That is all.  I related the mental illness thing to Pete who became quite upset and I said I would get it clarified.  I hope I have misinterpreted what you have said MANY times during sermons but believe I have not.  I did not tell him about the Justin thing because he was already upset.  

And I signed it with my name.  When I am very upset I don't do "dear or sincerely" I just start it and end it.  And I am very upset at the pastor for putting me in the position where I feel I have to defend my right to medication.  How many cults got in trouble because they wouldn't take sick children to the doctor?  It is the same thing.

Anyway, today, a lot of trepidation because we didn't know what to expect at work.  Monday they made us go to the opposite end of the building.  Ron and I both were dreading me having to get all my crap in and out that way.  I was dreading making Jack wait, etc. and Ron and I agreed we would give him an extra $20.

I am happy to help people who help us.  Jack has been a huge gift.  I should go to his church.  Anyway, we got to the warehouse, I got our supplies, checked out.  Jack came on time, we went to work... and they were operating normally with the door, we could use the front entrance.  PRAISE GOD.  It was just another Saturday.

I had a lot of work helping Ron, who had taken a pain pill and was a bit foggy.  One person yelled at me because I hadn't done the chips yet, I was clearly busy.  I explained "I am busy, I will get to it when I can" and he shouted at me and left me alone after that. 

I got his work and some of mine done before our ride home.  And Ron wanted a short day!  My feet were killing me in my work boots.

Which reminds me: it is time for new shoes.  I promised myself back in April I would change out all my shoes every 6 months (2 pair each sneaker and work boot).  The most expensive pair was a $40 work boot, the sneakers were about $15 each.  So doable.  And I don't want to risk hurting my foot again, that was hell and so hard for both me and Ron.  Getting out of bed so utterly awful I hated getting up to urinate.  New shoes are, to quote Chuck "Not a problem".  I will take Arturo to the Walmart sometime soon.

So I was pretty tired.  I took Ron out and parked him in the shade.  I waited on the bench (in the sun, but a bench!), our ride was about half an hour late.  The damage to the building is spectacular, at least 20 parking spaces' worth of damage along the building, the whole top and side collapsed, the adjoining area held up with big braces.  But it is a federal building and you CANNOT photograph.  I'm not losing my job over a photo.

We came home and found Pete in the driveway, he came in for a little bit and then we went out to lunch.  We had a good meal and Pete, always a good evangelist, found the manager was also a believer.  Pete dropped us at the house.  He is making noises about painting it and repairing some flood damage to the siding.  I didn't know we had flood damage, to the siding.  So he is going to repair that (one area) and then paint the whole thing with a friend.

I will have to get some drinks and a cooler.  I can get some ice with Arturo and have cold drinks all set up.  Least I can do.

Ron went to bed, he was pretty tired.  He likes a nap, like I do, in the afternoon, BUT I had a headache and took some Excedrin earlier so plenty of energy.

I got Arturo's present, I got him a small thing on Amazon.  We will probably see him Monday so I will do my best to remember to give it to him.

But we got all the work done.  About the only "work" left to do are the litter boxes.  We had mixed results with Pete coming over.  A couple of the cats liked him, a couple hid.

The cat experts say you should have a lot of people over to acclimate your cats but 1.  I am very private and 2.  I don't know what many people.  Most people have trouble getting a handle on Ron, much less me.

Ron projects as very outgoing but is actually pretty introverted.  I am more the extrovert these days.

I am glad I got the mental illness thing off my chest, I have been brooding about it for a while.  I am not generally a confrontational person, on my medication.  But I knew Pete was going to talk about it so I wanted to clarify what had me upset.

Opinions welcome as always.

It is a nice day today so we will see if I can run some errands tomorrow.

Edit: hours later, have heard nothing.  I think he realizes I am going to publish so he had better be clear on what he thinks.  It is one thing to call someone an addict and say they don't need medication during a sermon, it is another to go on the record telling people to go off their meds. 

I am 98% sure he is going to come back saying "Oh, you misunderstood me". 

9 comments:

Heidi said...

I am with you , you did the correct thing speaking your. Mind to the minister. He obviously is not a believer in science and that is a terrible thing for the people who listen and believe what he is saying. I agree 100% in speaking your mind .

It is truly as dangerous for folks with mental illness to go off their meds as someone who has seizures going off their meds. The fact you control yours so well and have such deep insight into your own problems is a testimony to how someone can take charge of a devastating illness.

My neighbor decided she could do better on pot than lithium and in two weeks of her attempt to get rid of “big pharma” (and I have huge problems with drug companies do not get me wrong but they are political and have to do with availability and cost more than anything else) this wonderful school teacher was out in the middle of an EXTREMELY intersection after having shaved her head and chosen a new and quite elaborate clothing style directing traffic . And NOT in a good way. She is back on her meds and doing find again I saw her with her family and she is allowed to care for her grandchild again . I wish that minister could have seen how sad this was for HER she completely deteriorated and almost lost her apartment because she gave notice..fortunately our landlord is kind and understanding ..everyone including me kept saying “TAKE YOUR MEDS THE WEED IS NOT HELPING” . She actually had to go inpatient for two weeks she got so bad. Shit I wish we were all addicted to our meds then we would make sure we would take them .
I have made the mistaking of stopping mind thinking I was fine and crashed into a deep hole . Never again .

You tell him how you feel I am happy for those who can not speak for themselves imagine who he has convinced and how bad their lives turned out? He should as a good minister be encouraging folks to keep healthy mentally and physically .

Heather Knits said...

And, like my Dad said, he is not a psych doctor so how would he know what is needed case by case. In my family, me and the steps, there is a biological component... all of us had one bipolar parent. My younger sibling and I were given flouride treatments in elementary school, they told us not to swallow but that is impossible.

The older kids were not given the treatment. We, the younger kids, became bipolar. The older kids remain free. I always wonder about that treatment. And it didn't help our teeth!

Point being no one knows much about the disease even now. The bipolar survival guide flatly says the experts don't even know how lithium works. It can be hard for them to advise us at times (I was told lithium would work because my bipolar mother responded to it), much less a lay person.

I agree a lot of the anxiety and sleeping stuff is probably handed out more than it should, it can be very dangerous. My doctor says it turns off parts of the brain that should be on, and vice versa, he won't give it and I am fine with that. Some need it, I don't have their illness so I am not going to judge, but I do stay away as I am at a high risk for addiction.

At the end of it everyone has a different bipolar experience. I know one woman used to go on cleaning binges when manic, some became sex obsessed (the man in your life always likes that one), talking a lot, spending - one reason I have never had a credit card. Some fight a lot. Everyone has a different illness. Me, an experienced patient, has a hard time telling someone else what to do aside from "take what you're given".

The Bible says teachers are going to be whipped harder because (basically) they can do more damage than a lay person.

Anonymous said...

Shame for all the people who had these problems before the meds were available and even before mental institutions came on the scene. If you had been born 100 years ago you would have spent your entire life locked up somewhere. So much for free will for ALL people.

Heather Knits said...

Exactly, I thank God I live now, so does Ron... he was on the verge of giving up everything to go in a nursing home.

If I had children I would have named one of them Cade after John Cade, who discovered the use of lithium for bipolar disorder. Up until then people just suffered. Now we have lives.

And lithium is still a benchmark.

Anonymous said...

"My younger sibling and I were given flouride treatments in elementary school, they told us not to swallow but that is impossible.

The older kids were not given the treatment. We, the younger kids, became bipolar. The older kids remain free. I always wonder about that treatment. And it didn't help our teeth!"

Heather... no. Don't be an anti-vax radical. You own. But please, you have a brain. You write well. You aren't dumb. That has 0000000000% to do with it.

Heather Knits said...

I just wonder..that's all. The timing is about right for both of us.

Anonymous said...

"I just wonder..that's all. The timing is about right for both of us."

That doesn't make sense. AT ALL. You know that.

Millions of people have flouride. It isn't bad for you. It is fine. There's no link what so ever, literally. Google "causation and correlation".

Bipolar disorder has been known since ancient Greek times. They didn't have that stuff back then.

It's a chemical/bio issue with your brain.

To suggest otherwise is a massive stretch and lack of knowledge.

Again, you are too good for this.

The timing is right on a lot of things (part of the reason I quit Rapture Ready was people claiming vaccines caused autism which is laughably stupid) but it doesn't mean they go together. The sun goes up and more coffee is sold. Does the sun cause that? No.

You are amazing and smart and I've read this for years and talked to you on RR for years.

Please don't go down this route.

Anonymous said...

I have posted here once before. I am an Episcopalian and our priest’s sermons all have to do with the Gospel reading for the day and about the love God has for us and how it’s important to have him at the center of our lives. I have never ONCE heard a sermon in my church having to do with the crazy idea that people don’t need medication! Is this some sort of crazy non-denominational church? I’d be curious to know.

Heather Knits said...

It's a well known "rapture ready" non-denominational church. Although I have only heard the lecture at the one church. The church downtown is fine but it is a very long ride and impossible for Ron. I found a small Baptist church on a bus line near our home, very short ride for Ron (he can't sit up for long). He didn't want to go today but maybe next week.

The pastor has said it again and again at least while I am there. Enough that I took notice. But a driver told me something interesting, "When a pastor stands up to preach he is going to say something wrong before he sits down".

But I can't sit under the teaching of someone who demands I ride the crazy train. It's impossible and not Biblical. Like I said in my email, "You don't want me off my antipsychotics in your sanctuary"

Some people need different help. But can you imagine a pastor going to visit someone in a hospital and saying "It is a sin to use these antibiotics"? The pastor would be banned!