I can't make this stuff up

Someone once accused me of making my life up.  How could I?   I haven't even told you about the time my mother held my grandmother prisoner in the basement. 

Ron likes to use a 2 liter juice bottle as a urinal.  It has a nice wide mouth, a secure screw top, plenty of capacity.  He put one in the kitchen a few days ago and had a spill. 

I told him, "Let's do better" "Sorry" and figured that was the end of it.  He had another blackout.  And, checking the fridge late last night, I found his urinal on the bottom shelf of the fridge.. 

NOT happy.  "I'll do better". 

Something is going to make him realize he has a problem.  What will that be? 

When he found it, he thought I did it "So I would drink it" and "teach him a lesson".  Why, I asked him, would I put a bottle of urine, in my fridge?

I can't make this stuff up. 

I want a boring life.  One where my biggest worry is not alcohol related.