Ron gave himself a chemical burn, to the inside of his mouth. He holds the alcohol in his mouth and it's caustic - so recently he developed a painful burn.
Years ago, before he became a problem drinker, he had me do some research on alcohol for him. It seemed harmless at the time. One thing learned was a lot of the alcohol is absorbed through the tissue lining the mouth. As a result, Ron chugs, and holds, the alcohol in his mouth for minutes at a time before swallowing.
Normally he chugs vodka from the bottle, spits some out into his portion control cup (my contribution) and spits the rest back in the vodka bottle. You can imagine how the vodka bottle looks.
Tonight he said his mouth hurt, and asked me to pour the alcohol directly from the bottle into the portion cup. I told him no. He was pretty upset and said he would keep me up all night, if I didn't.
I didn't take the bait.
He figured out something on his own. He keeps pushing it, I told him probably 10 years ago I would not help him get alcohol. That meant not buying it, not helping him buy it, etc. Not pouring it.
I couldn't believe he really thought he could talk me into it. Doesn't say much for what he thinks of my intelligence.
"She won't buy it for me, or help me buy it, but she'll pour it."
[rolleyes]
12 comments:
What an freaking moronic and disgustingly filthy idiot. Alcohol really does kill brain cells. Not very hygienic to keep spitting it back in the vodka bottle.
Honestly, I wouldn’t even allow it IN THE HOUSE. Make that f-er roll outside to drink it. If you aren’t going to leave him over it, at least take a stand. Toss his “cup” in the garbage. If that was my blind husband (that I refused to leave) I would pour every bottle he brought inside down the drain. Over and over and over.
I am OK with him spitting it back, it is disgusting but he is finally using some portion control. He understands one drink is really one ounce of alcohol, not a mouthful.
My favorite was when he'd have a blackout and say he only had "two sips" - meaning, two chugs.
Some days I have to pick my battles.
You are an enabler and a co-dependent. You are helping him stay an alcoholic.
I didn't pour him the drink, I told him no.
The "friends" who bring him the alcohol are the ones helping him stay an alcoholic. I don't touch the stuff or help him.
Well, sometimes I will get his bottle of water out of the fridge for him.
But you are allowing it to occur in your home. That’s enabling him. That’s helping him remain an alcoholic. Maybe you should go back to al-anon? I don’t mean that in a rude way but seriously. I thjnk you are in denial.
You have the power and the right to set boundaries and ultimatums. You can and should tell him he can’t drink in the house. Especially due to the way he treats you. Stop making excuses for him all the time. Don’t get his bottle of water out of the fridge for him. Don’t let him store his booze in the garage. Oh, but he can’t get to it in his wheelchair? That’s Too bad.
Al anon is a REALLY long trip on the bus, and not that far from my home. Not to mention everyone in the group was divorced from their drunk.
The problem being he has his own money and the house is half his.
There's a reason they divorced their alcoholic spouses. Eventually you won't have to divorce him as he will wind up in a nursing home as he continues to physically and mentally deteriorate. You really need to look into protecting your assets when that happens so hopefully you won't get bled dry from the costs. It is like you are drowning in the ocean and there is a life preserver but it is too far away and keeps drifting out of your reach.
You can’t take a cab?
Ron is not a child we cannot control the behavior of other people. The only control we have is to leave or decide we are going to put up with it.
Heather I understand your need to get things off your chest I have a family member with a drug problem we cannot change their behavior we just have to make sure we are not part of the problem. I pray for my family member that what the enemy has done evil in this person's life that God will turn it into something good.
To the cab comment, cabs cost money, each way. I don't make that much as you'll remember. I have pretty much committed to having one cab ride to Walmart in my budget every week but that's it for now, unless there is a crisis.
I took 2 cabs a day, at over $20 each, when Ron was in the hospital with blood clots. That added up pretty quick, but he had me take it out of the "business".
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