I slept better but still moderately depressed. I find it interesting how I mourn on my days off and then back to work and functional again. I wonder how long that will last.
I did get paid, $548 so I will have to figure out my budget. I am guessing the electric will not be $160 because we have had some milder weather lately, maybe $140? We will see. I won't get that bill for a few days. I will crunch all the numbers later but off hand I need too pay gas, electric, You Tube music fee and put $20 on my bus card.
I filled out a survey for the bus. I might win a gift card which would be nice. $100 bus card would be awesome. I am not interested in the Target gift card as I used to work at Target and felt they treated me badly. But you could look at it I will take the gift card and spend it...I don't know. There are a lot of people taking these surveys.
Today I need to do dishes, cooking, hang up my clothes. Right now it feels overwhelming but I will get through it.
That's it for now.
6 comments:
It'll probably last until you find a new mate. Maybe a new kitten to love on?
Well based on my experiences I would get 2 kittens together. 1 kitten "spaz" bites foot in middle of the night, toilet issues, etc.
2 kittens together (Spotty and Cleo, Biscuit and Gravy) play with each other and have perfect manners. They don't bother the older cat(s) either.
But I have some "special" cats I don't think they would share. Cleo and Spotty were unusual in that they showed up at the house starving to death and my existing gang felt sorry for them.
My dad mourned my mom for 18 YEARS. He drank himself to death.
No pets, no friends. He pushed other women away. He never wanted to be happy again and wasn't. Choking down antidepressants and chasing them with alcohol. I encourage you to at least get a new kitty so you don't end up mourning for the rest of your life.
Oh my 3 are great. They are all different in their charm. I woke up with 2 of them in the bed.
Ron wouldn't want me throwing myself in his grave so to speak and in fact spoke to me more than once, demanding I remarry. He actually made me swear I would remarry. If the right guy comes along I will. I just want a boring, stable, non drinker with a deep faith in God. Loves cats of course, can tolerate bad housekeeping. We will see.
I do find myself drawn at work, to guys with the big 40 pound sack of cat food and a couple tubs of clumping litter in their shopping cart. So far they are all married though.
If God wants me to remarry the right guy will be out there, but I still feel like my head isn't right. A lot of co dependent crap still there and I need to be confident in who I am and what I can do for myself before I go looking for "a man" to complete me. Or a cat! My guys would be very upset if I cheated on them.
I was just thinking if God has someone in mind for you, the 5 year rule might cause you to miss someone great. If we're even here that long the way things are going.
If I do meet the right guy I will bend the 5 year rule but even if I stick with it I'll only be in my 50's.
I agree we could get raptured any minute.
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