My primary route that goes by the house is not bad at all. It is very quiet and nice people on the bus. The second bus is something else.
I used to wish and wish Metro would connect those two buses and now I'm sorry they did. It isn't the bad behavior and the constant fare beating that bothers me so much, although some homeless guy "going off" screaming and beating on things (has happened a few times) is disconcerting. Then you have the sick homeless coughing and sneezing God knows what all over the bus. Then you have the very dirty people sitting on the seats, grabbing the handrails I have to touch, etc. I can see why some bus drivers simply won't pick them up.
Yesterday I had a guy get on with a walker, he really needed a wheelchair as he was, in my opinion, too feeble for the walker. He stank of urine. It was so bad it made me gag. He had clearly not changed his clothes in days and had serious issues toileting. He sat very near me so I had to gag on it all the way to Foodtown, where he got off (I think he was "making groceries").
My issue is simple, how do I set appropriate boundaries with these people without upsetting Jesus? I do not give them candy and I don't talk to them as they leave me alone, now, but if they see me as a "mark" that will end and then they will go tell all their friends about me. There is only one white lady in glasses gets on at the Walmart wearing an employee vest (I take off the name tag). Is that what God wants? I'm not sure.
I do need to work on my thoughts when a difficult person boards the bus and causes me inconvenience due to odor/behavior/50 bags of junk. I have also had people asking me for money and I tell them "I don't have what you need" which I feel is very true. One was very persistent and I was worried she was going to get off and follow me home. The bus driver finally got her to stop, he had let her ride for free and said he would "bounce" her if she kept bothering me. But my thoughts are not where they should be; I feel like I should be praying for them. But not labeling myself as a mark.
For car people it is different, you probably have a water bottle of package of crackers for homeless people, you can reach it out the window and never see that person again; I see these people again and again. A good example I had given a bag of candy to the driver, a woman got on behind me and said "Where's my candy?" I told her it was only for drivers. "Why?" "Because he's working". "I work" she said sullenly (referring to time spent begging on the median). She glared at me the whole ride. I am already weighed down enough, and let's be real, I have to BUY the candy...I can't carry an extra sack of baggies for the homeless on the route who talk about the faith based ministries with disdain and would likely throw the booklet on the ground.
Star of Hope is a good ministry to the homeless but you have to listen to a gospel message and prayer time before you stay at the shelter (I have been told). They would rather sleep on a piece of cardboard than do that. Beacon is another good one but you have to be in recovery and not actively using drugs/alcohol to get services... you get the idea.
So for now I am not giving them candy. If I remarry and he can drive me around I may adjust that. We will see. For now I am happy to be single.
That's all.
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