Wednesday morning

I have had a battle of wills with the cats lately.  They don't want to finish their food before I feed them again.  So last night I went to bed without feeding them, they still had food in the bowl.  When I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom the bowl was empty and they were begging so I got them.  

I slept OK but not great, I woke up tired and depressed.  I did pay the electric bill.  I will pay the gas bill this weekend when it's convenient.  I am waiting to pay the water bill when the new one comes in whatever horrifying total that will be.  

I was very happy with how I watered the foundation yesterday, the website I found (foundation repair company so I feel they are legit) said to make sure the moisture goes out at least 15 inches from the foundation and it did.  I also watered the jasmine out front as parts of it are dying, my lemon verbena which just keeps going, the mint which is totally happy with just 8 leaves 😂, the catnip I think is dead.  And I watered around where the pipe breaks as the plumber said it "couldn't hurt" to keep that area nice and moist.  So I'm happy I did all that.  

I didn't gain anything because I ate on plan yesterday.  That was encouraging.  I even rolled up the soaker hose so it will be easier to use next time.  

I will likely get on the exercise bike later if my depression doesn't improve.  I also took one of my mega-b vitamins and that is helping.  It's all chemistry; my chemistry gets unbalanced I get depressed.  

I feel very foolish admitting I had been bragging last week about how I "never" get depressed anymore.  Boy was I wrong.  

I changed the sheets on my bed and did my God time, am washing the dirty sheets.  I think I got the stain out of my jeans but they weren't 100% dry so it was hard to tell.  I had to wash a load of underwear so I went ahead and did that with the jeans in there too.  

I just need to take a shower but I will get there.  Just having a hard time getting going today.  My parents can only really do one call a day unless I suppose I had a major crisis.  My aunt has friends visiting from out of town so that means she can't talk.  But Spotty was very cute during my God Time he is very cuddly when I do that.  Gets up in my lap purring rubs all over the tablet, has actually closed books I was reading.  I may sit outside for a while after my shower get some Vitamin D.  

Tomorrow may be interesting: challenging co worker wants my shift.  I am scheduled 11-5 basically.  She is scheduled 5-10.  She wants my shift instead and thinks she should get it because she has seniority and has sworn she was going to "come in and take it from" me.  So likely to be a fair amount of drama.  I can only hope the manager has clear eyes in that.  The app has an option to trade shifts and I said no every time she asked, she is quite angry about that.  

For whatever reason personnel seems to like me.  I don't believe in the whole "favor" thing that God gives me favor with people, or not.  But she does like me and I'm sure that is a God thing.  I like the schedule coming up and will be happy to work it as I will save money taking the bus home those days vs. paying for a ride.  $20 a ride adds up pretty quick.  

So hoping God will encourage management/personnel to set strong boundaries with her.  It could get very messy tomorrow.  I am not looking forward to that.  I think once they tell her to work her shift I will be OK for a while.  

And I always go back to: if you don't like your hours why not change your availability?  It is not hard.  But she wants to work when she feels like it.  I am living off what I make. She is not.  So I have that coming up tomorrow which is no doubt feeding the low level dread I am feeling.  Done with that.  

I had been drinking an "energy" drink mix that you add to water, it had aspartame and about 100 mg of caffeine.  I am about out of it, I looked at the store and a box of 10 packets is $2.  Too much, so I got out my bottle of caffeine pills.  100 mg just take it with water.  It has worked fine this morning so I think I will continue to use that.  I had that and later the B vitamin I mentioned, plus my antidepressant and a multi vitamin.  That's a lot of pills!  

Ron always hated it when I took B vitamins, said I "smelled like old people" but sometimes I have to do it.  And he is not around to complain.  

It is interesting I have an aerosol spray perfume.  It smells great when I put it on but is gone by the time I get to work riding the bus.  I am debating asking for a bottle of the real stuff (I think it is $20) for my birthday coming up.  But do I want to wear a stronger perfume?  Do I want to be one of those overpowering ladies?  I am prone to headaches when around strong fragrance I would hate to set someone off.  So I am still considering it.  

Ugh.  Still burping up B vitamins but I do feel better mentally.  That's it for now. 

I counted my spending cash and have $55.  Not bad considering I only have a week to pay day.