Most days I would say caring for Ron is not a big deal. I read things for him, I push him around in the wheelchair. I fetch soda for him to stock.
Other times, like last night, it is a totally different story. It started out pretty quiet. He did not ask for Kratom when he got up. He did not ask at work, or when we got home, before my nap, or when I got up again. Then around 9 he starts up in severe pain, he said, with his leg.
His back pain radiates into his arms or leg, the "favorite" is the right leg. I gave him some kratom, gave him some more.
He decided he needed more pain medicine and asked me to spell it for him, as he couldn't remember (!) the name. I started to and he shouted me down "You know I can't hear you in another room" just a tell me right now attitude I did not like, especially as I was busy online. I got up and went over to him, said "Why should I do this, you will forget the spelling in 10 seconds" and he shouted at me, called me names, etc.
I should add he began drinking heavily the minute the pain started up. He falsely believes alcohol "helps". It does not, it just gets him drunk and he's still in pain. But the next day he only remembers being drunk so it "must have helped". Very frustrating for me as he gets abusive, often, when drunk and falls, so could end up in more pain. And if he's very drunk and falls on the floor he is going to have to stay there till he sobers up. I can help him, but not that much.
He called his doctor and they put in a new prescription for him. So back on the brain killing pain pills on top of whatever cognitive issue he already has.
So just a bad start to the night for me, but maybe partly my fault because I did not insist he take some kratom. I gave him some more kratom, and went to bed.
He woke me up about an hour later shouting in pain, just very loud. I have talked about this, how much I hate it, how I wish he would just be quiet like I am when I am hurting. I don't think his pain is any worse than a migraine and I get plenty of those, I feel pretty qualified to make a judgement. But he was taught as a child, if you want attention when you're hurting, moan, shout, and scream a lot when you are in pain. And I just have to deal with it.
I gave him more kratom. He said he was "sorry" and "It wouldn't happen again". I gave him some more before I went back to bed just to be on the safe side. I went back to sleep.
I was awakened some time later (I stopped looking at my alarm clock because it would have just pissed me off) by Ron screaming and yelling "Help". So I thought he fell and had harmed himself. I hunted all over the house, frantic.
I found him drinking in the kitchen, seated in his wheelchair. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" NOT HAPPY. I said yes he had been screaming for help, and I was giving him more kratom. "Oh, I'm OK". "No you're not you were just screaming for help. You are getting some Kratom".
I went and got 2 grams of Red Elephant, for a total of 11 grams for the night (considered a "strong" dose but still acceptable). I gave it to him, watched him wash it down. Went back to bed, still NOT HAPPY.
It finally kicked in and he "let" me sleep. I really hate living with a person who I have to "let" me sleep. My sleep every night should be a given. It's like I live with a perpetual newborn who keeps me up at night, never going to grow, just get worse. It feels that way. It does not happen every night but often enough.
And never once in my decision process after the accident and choosing to marry Ron did I think this would be a problem. I just automatically assumed he would respect my need for quality sleep every night and try to be quiet if he was up or hurting. I thought of things like "Am I OK helping him bathe/toilet if need be?" "Does it matter if he is in a wheelchair?" things like that. Clearly the other questions were not deal breakers, but I never considered he might not "let" me sleep.
It might very well have been a deal breaker.
But I did get a couple of hours at least, slept late and woke up at 8. Biscuit and Spot, my boys, began begging for breakfast when they saw me up. Spot is so cute because he has this deep, raspy, meow for such a little body, and Biscuit has this more elegant, castrato, high meow. Mama cat came in when she heard me open the can and Mom and Spot worked on their turkey dinner. They seemed pretty hungry so I did not put the probiotics on this can. According to the directions on the can (I can finally read them with my new glasses) they need to eat about 3 cans a day. So I can put it on Can 2 or 3.
I plan to do my workout today in spite of last night. I don't have a headache, that would be the real deal killer. I just need a shower, which I can get after the workout I also need to check on Cleo and make sure she is doing well, feed her. That was one sweet thing about Ron, he said he doesn't know how but Cleo has a big place in his heart, even though he has never met/pet her. It appears he is going to sleep all day, having been up all night.
I will give him this, he didn't fall.
10 comments:
The recommended feeding amounts on the cans of cat food are way too high. If they gain weight and are too fat you will just have to reduce the amount you give them. I asked a vet about this once and they really were no help.
Regarding feeding, I am just feeding them to sated. For instance, Spotty came to me begging about an hour after breakfast. I gave him some dry kitten food, he ate that, I was not quick enough and Biscuit got a bite before I put it away.
In a couple months all 5 cats will be busting at the seams, severely obese just like the first 3. Maybe Cleo is better off after all.
Everyone is on a different diet so hard to say. Mama cat does not look so bony, filling out nicely. I can't feel Spotty's hips when I pet him (not easily). I have to call that a win.
Cleo is nicely filled out, not too big or thin.
It really is all the extra treats that is causing the cats to be overweight. At 15 pounds it could be worse for the cats. I think baby girl is a normal weight but it sounds like she mainly focuses on eating treats and not the other food. Ironic I remember you used to talk about giving all 3 cats one can of food to share for breakfast and dinner and obviously Biscuit had to have been given ALOT of treats to keep him overweight. Now the other two are each eating 3 cans a day? Way too much.
I would be really scared to leave ALL 5 cats alone when you go out of town. What if spot and momma cat fight with the other two because all the food is gone? Not something I would ever entertain doing. Maybe you should consider boarding at least those two along with biscuit. Very scary. Why can't your parents just come to visit in Houston? Why do you have to go to the beach for two days? It is nuts.
You never mention playing with the cats. Do you have any toys for them? Especially the kitten he needs to play time more than older cats. I recommend Da Bird it is a great interactive toy.
1. I never said I was going to the beach for 2 days. It won't even be 24 hours. And Ron will be home. Momma cat is very good natured and Spot is no longer food aggressive.
2. We have lots of toys. Wand toys, squeaky mice, etc. Squeaky mice are the most popular but Spot just killed one today. We also have a squeaky bird. Most often Spot will bring me a toy to throw, then he kills it for a while.
I would only worry about leaving Mama now that she is post operative. Once she heals up I think she will be fine. She raised 2 kittens in the gutter, she is a scrapper.
Current plan to get Cleo done next month at the feral place. I would rather have her done now and eartipped than wait to socialize her and she gets pregnant, especially as it would be very difficult catching her right now. My aunt had a basically feral cat that chose her - and my aunt is not a cat person. Anyway my aunt got her fixed and she had a quick recovery outside. Which is good to know. And my aunt's cat was more "used" and older than Cleo.
Anyone who would begrudge you a day or two away from home does not get how much you need a vacation . You are doing a great job Heather do not let the nay sayers get you down
That's the thing I don't get - they're big cats, they can share food for 24 hours while I spend time with my elderly parents. I have done it before.
No different if Ron had to spend an overnight in the hospital.
Are you still fining him money? Or has that stopped? If it has--you wonder why he doesn't regard you? Nothing you threaten him with ever ever ever ever ever sticks.
Oh, you're right. I will do that. I just forgot. Sleep deprivation and my medication are not a pretty pairing.
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