Wednesday

 The battle of the chair.  Biscuit got in the chair while I was on the phone. I needed to get online and do something. 

I will use my phone to look things up but not really to shop, etc., so I needed the desktop.  Biscuit would not budge and was giving me pitiful meows from the computer chair (orange towel). So I moved the computer chair and put a kitchen chair instead. 

We were both happy.  

I went to work, pretty uneventful except I was pretty hungry after work. I had two hard boiled eggs and some cheese I had in my lunch box. 

I think people like me, who were starved as children (for real, peeps) have a lot of issues with food and food insecurity.  I always like to have extra food around "in case".  So I had the hard boiled eggs and some cheese in there with my ice pack.  

But oh, SO QUEASY. I don't know why. 

I did fail today as an evangelist, I did not have enough time to do up the little gospel things with the candy so I had nothing. I did buy a couple of candy bars at work to hand out on the way home, and the one driver did say she read the last thing I gave her so I feel good about that. 

I did order more tracts when I got home. 

When I got home I took my cup out to clean it and surprise I had started my cycle.  So I washed it and put it back in (it is comfortable). I have figured out the stem needs to stick out a little for easier removal and it doesn't bother me.  So I should see some weight loss the next couple weeks if I am smart in my eating.  

We have had some roof leaks at work which is embarrassing as we are a huge retail giant. They finally got someone out to fix it but oh, the chemicals they used had me gagging and sent me halfway to a migraine.  I had to take my Excedrin.  

I bought Dad a variation of a Daily Bible for Father's Day. I like Daily Bibles because they are set up so you read the whole thing in a year if you are diligent. If you miss a day you keep going but if you keep at it you will do it. I had one that fell apart I read it so much. I currently have (myself) a Chronological Daily Bible which has the earliest Bible history first and groups things by history not the canon (old fashioned Bible layout). I have started reading that again in addition to my other readings because a lot of what I study is devotionals, which are good but they aren't The Word.  I want lots of Word in my brain not lots of opinions on it. 

I am still violently nauseous I am going to go to bed early. 

Tuesday

 Just really tired today, fell asleep on the bus both ways to work.  Woke up on my way home a young black man (about 20) had fallen asleep next to me his head almost in my lap. I thought it was adorable.  😂  When he woke up he was mortified. 

I need to figure that out!  

Work was rather taxing a lot of unhappy customers shouting at me.  An example: one man bought a bbq grill, took it home, used it, "Doesn't like the finish on it" and wanted to return it.  Management said hell no. He was very angry about that.  

I took my meds at work on my break and I think they are a factor in me falling asleep on the way home so tomorrow I take them at home, AFTER work with a glass of milk (I can do that). 

I handed out some stuff today.  I use a shared bus stop on the way home a couple of routes go by.  One route, I never take, stops when she sees me so I can give her the candy.  That is fun.  

Today, if you cared 😂😂 I did candy with a tract for the drivers.  I also handed out a few New Testaments but not many.  The hat ("Ask me for Free Bibles") is a great weirdo deterrent everyone avoids me.  

Biscuit took over my computer chair while I was talking to my parents.  I couldn't budget him (Mom wanted advice on a gift Bible purchase and I had to get on the desktop) so I hauled his chair away from the desk and am using a chair from my kitchen table.  He's a very stubborn cat.  

Ron's family, and mine, are known for being stubborn. So's the cat. 

That's it for now. 

So my parents are at a BBQ

 I only plan to do one Bible Handout this weekend, especially as it's going to rain on Sunday, they say.  I am totally down with standing there in the pouring rain with Bibles in ziplocs but the recipients don't want to roll down a window and who can blame them!?  😂

I was laying down earlier, I may do that again. 

ACK! Monday!

 So I am baffled and I will get this over with first.  Apparently someone at work read my last Bible Handout update (the one on the corner not the one yesterday).  She didn't like my "attitude" I don't know what she is talking about - I reread it.  I said if I go in there with a humble servant's attitude I will not have a problem?  That is "an attitude?"  She also didn't like some comments another friend made about some problems she is having with drug dealers and small time meth cookers (I think) who moved into her neighborhood even though odds are very high everyone is white. So I don't get it.  

I did write this today and put it up because I think it bears stating: 

"Why do I go to the ghetto and hand out Bibles? Rapper Coolio covers it pretty well "They say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach me

If they can't understand it, how can they reach me
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess they front, that's why I know my life is out of luck, fool"

I am utterly outraged that two of my best handout spots are literally ON THE DOORSTEP OF A NICE CHURCH. They stay in their walls nice and cozy while souls die and go to hell right on their doorstep. That is a SIN.

I know people are hurting out there without God; they have none of what has carried me through a pretty awful life. I see them suffering. No one is going. To quote Isaiah "I'll go, send me" I told God and He did.

I love my recipients like my own children, pray for them and worry about them. I may be the only person who does, from the cop who told me "A Bible never runs out of bullets" to the MS-13 gang member who wondered if I'd give *him* a Bible (of course I did). You know I love cats, twice now, 10 years apart, I walked away from a starving kitten in need (with Biscuit and Gravy, two) so I could go serve the recipients. Of course I helped Biscuit and Gravy when I got back and saw they still needed me, but the other cat I won't know. And I am OK with that because the recipients are literally the most important thing in my life.

That's all."

I had a rough start in life, married an abusive alcoholic, married to him for 30 years  A for instance I was thinking how he controlled all the money until the Alzheimer's kicked in and he couldn't pay the bills anymore. God got me through that.  God gets me through working at Walmart (today was rough).  He carries me through my depressions... I could go on and on and I probably will, in heaven.  

I want people to have what I do, that's all.  The devil has told this woman lies and distorted her view of me. There isn't much I can do except pray for her but I knew I was in trouble when I got a text that said "I'm not mad but"  

Anyway enough about that.  

So today on the bus was nuts EVERYONE on both routes to work was arguing with the driver, refusing to pay, copping attitude, etc. The drivers were very frustrated. 

I got to work and the store was packed and everyone was in a really bad mood (customers) cursing me out.  ALL.  DAY.  LONG. ALL. OF. THEM.  It was awful.  I got through it and had a pretty uneventful ride home.  

I have had one driver consistently refuse "candy" (I offer, he says no, I smile and put it away, the JW's taught me to take no for an answer in my own evangelism),but today he agreed he would take one of those mylar pouches of chicken. So I'll get one tomorrow. 

I need to call my parents,more later.   

ride to work

 No one wanted to pay and arguing with driver.  Everyone acting afraid of ME in the Free Bibles hat.  😂

I did give one to a troublemaker as I got off.  😂

I hope work is more boring.

Early Monday

 I didn't sleep well last night. I had strange dreams about Jack, that we were together (not like that) and it was very uncomfortable because we don't have a lot in common.  I'm not attracted to him like that either.  I suspect he "likes" me just because I am "nice", single, I don't bark, and I'm around.  I actually think the changing my hours so I don't see him as much is a good thing. So that was unpleasant.  

At least for now I need to focus on my relationship with Jesus and develop that.  If He has someone for me He will bring the man. If not, or if the rapture is so imminent there's no point (what I suspect), I am OK with that.  But I need a man as passionate about Jesus, and evangelism, as I am.  

Ron understood it was important, respected it most of the time, went along sometimes mainly to give me a ride I think. At times he would forbid me and I would laugh at him and go anyway.  I didn't go out during the riots, though.  

Biscuit wants my chair back so I will let him.  That's it for now. 

Sunday afternoon

 I am trying to make Bible Handouts a lifestyle and not just something I do now and then.  So I brought a couple dozen this morning. I had my cart: 

And my hat: 

I just missed one bus but the old man who had gotten off wanted a Bible, I set him up. The driver wanted 2 more Bibles in addition to the one I had in her bag of candy. I would say is culminated on my way home when a car load of Latinos stopped me, wanting 5 each English AND Spanish.  So I set them up.  The young black guy at the bus stop asked me what I was doing and I told him and gave him a Bible Promise Book (he didn't like the looks of the last New Testament and I probably made a mistake referring to it as the last one).  

That one I did because I came out of the grocery store, the driver saw me and didn't wait but bolted off down the street.  But because she did that I handed out 11 more. Not to mention the next driver was happy to get HER New Testament.  

Romans 8:28 said all things work for the good of those who love Him.  And even getting passed up worked for the possible salvation of at least 12 people. That was worth half an hour waiting in the heat, and I had a bench at least.  

I got my salad mix at Kroger.  Kroger did not have the 2 pound bags of Walnuts so that means my store gets the money instead. I went to the store near my home and they were out of the 5 pound bags of assorted candy with the chili in it, very popular with many,many, of my co workers. I go through a sandwich baggie of it every day I work. But they had a 10 pound bag so I pulled the trigger. I also bought a 10 pound bag of the regular pinata mix. I was glad I had my cart as I would hate to carry that all home. 

I came home, put it all away, and took a nap with the cats.  Spotty said goodnight to me and let me kiss him (he's a good boy), Biscuit got up and made me biscuits on my belly which was very nice, I always say "Ahhh, the massage" as he does it. It's very relaxing. Then he left maybe it is too hot for the cats to sleep with me (they love to sleep with me in the winter) and I still have the thermostat set at about 82. I didn't see Cleo but she was probably out in the yard.  

I could stand to do some housework but Dad reminded me even the Bible says we are supposed to take 1 day a week and do nothing. 

About the only other thing of note the hot candy lovers at work have been asking for more mango candy.  So I got a couple different cheap ones today and will see what they like the best. 

That's it for now.  Please pray for the recipients, that they be healthy and protected from demonic attacks, to have a will to open what they got and understand it.  Also protection and good health for me, the cats, and my home. 

Now I'm done.  

Sunday morning and don't forget to pray for my protection and the recipients

 I kept waking up but other than that slept great.  

When I got up I was looking in my box of smaller fitting clothes and I actually think I have "enough" for now. 

I feel led to share this; when I did go on the Bible Handout yesterday in Satan's Playground I had my stun gun. I did not bring my wallet but had a little cash.  As it turns out I did not have to buy my snacks as the very authoritative lady bought mine for me at the gas station. 

I gave one of those drinks (it was still cold) to a bus driver who was just tickled to pieces. 

I am going to go do my God Time, I'm no good at anything without that. 

I did not mention this yesterday but there was a homeless man on the other corner who came over to see what I was doing. He had a heavy Spanish accent and his English was very disjointed like he was manic. He said a lot about he used to have a Bible but something happened to it.  I offered him a Spanish Bible and he took it and put it in his backpack and tried to give me (probably the money money he had) a $5.  I told him I was OK "Friends buy the Bibles" (true enough, mostly) and he left for a while.  

He came back about an hour later very worried about me in the heat.  He insisted on giving me a bottle of water someone had given him (he was washing windows) and God told me to take it so I did and he left again.  But he was sweet. 

That's the kind of encounter I usually have on the Bible Handout.  On other Handouts I have encountered people with dead eyes who just stare at me but that's about it.  The "scary" people generally want a Bible and are thrilled to get one,and even happier I am praying for them daily.  

If you do pray please pray for them. And for my protection I have been led to ask for that lately.  

Now I'm going to do my Bible Study.  

 Did that, I even did my Chronological Bible reading. It can be hard to do Lamentations or Job when I am really depressed and it ALWAYS lines up that way, but today was Proverbs and the adulterous wife.  

I'm going to get ready to go. That's if for now.  

Taking hand cart with small Free Bibles sign, some Bibles, also Bibles with candy for bus drivers and cashiers.  👍

Handout update

 Two verses to start: 

Jesus said this one, in Luke: 10 So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”

Romans (Paul said this): 14 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? 15 And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written:

“How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace,
Who bring glad tidings of good things!”

Formatting is messed up but you get the idea.  

Really that is my only qualification: I go. I am a flawed, imperfect sinner washed in the blood of Jesus. That is it.  

I like to poll certain people like bus drivers before I do a Handout,of 2 locations, which would you pick, stuff like that.  And a couple said Greenspoint, Imperial Valley at Greens road was "really bad and needed Jesus".  Others told me not to go to that location at all as it was "very bad".  

I have always had the view go to the sick not the well.  I was married to a difficult alcoholic so it takes a lot to scare me.  And God does use things like that to mold us if we let Him. Trust me, He does.  

Spanish has been incredibly popular on the last couple Handouts so I brought 50 or so Spanish New Testaments, and about 50 assorted whole Bibles and New Testaments in English.  Today's Bible featured a bright orange cover that matched my sign. 

I was going to be working around a construction zone so I brought my 4 wheeled cart as it navigates better. It was a good call but when I went to put the case of whole Bibles in the cart they got stuck sideways, and when I attempted to fix it they pinched a fold of skin on my left leg above the knee.  I have a spectacular bruise there now but it doesn't hurt.  I did manage to finesse the Bibles further down in the cart and got the Spanish on top and my bag.  

I had to take 3 buses to get there which was a pain but the drivers were great about using the "kneeler" feature on the bus (brings bus closer to ground) and also lining up very close to the curb. I had the small Free Bibles sign on the cart and, while waiting at my third stop someone asked me about it.  So I told her. 

A man dressed in gang colors over heard me and asked where I was going, I told him.  "Do you know what goes on there?" he asked.  I told him yes, I had a very good idea, and that's why I figured they could use Him.  He shook his head at me and walked off after begging me not to go. 

I got there. The last time I went I was with Ron and it was several years ago. The neighborhood was a lot worse than last time, I agree.  But it was almost as bad as Acres Homes was several-ten years ago so I wasn't uncomfortable. 

I waved at everyone including passers-by. Some came over and got a Bible.  One lady came over and asked me a lot of questions about what I was doing, thanked me for coming, shook my head, and nodded when I said I planned to come back. "We need that" she said. Later on I had to go to the bathroom so I packed everything up and went to the gas station.  She saw me coming and told everyone there I was off limits, I was doing God's work, etc. She made it clear I would NEVER have a problem working over there. She then bought me $10 of drinks I had picked out and paid for.  

I went back to my corner which was happily still vacant and kept working, energized.  I handed out about 40 English during the Handout and another 10 or so after. I also handed out about a dozen Spanish. 

I saw a sign for a Spanish bakery and went over there, wearing my Free Bibles hat and the cart with the sign.  Some men who owned a restaurant stopped me and offered me a cold soda but I still had to go to the grocery store and didn't want to drink too much.  

I think it went very well, it is pretty hard ground to till but that's the point. I covet prayer for all the recipients, for them to have an appetite for God's word and see His truth, also for their, and mine, protection.  

The only thing I will do differently I will bring a sign in Spanish as well, I think I could have done more that way.  

That's it for now!  

Saturday morning

 I have had one ongoing regret at work when I have found cute clearance jeans and didn't buy them.  

It looks like my goal size is going to be about 14.  So when I found several cute jeans in a 14 I had a look on my break.  I got a really nice 90's type wash in black, and a flare leg in blue, a flare leg in black (it is really hard to find a black flare leg).  No "destruction" which I am too old to find appealing, when I see jeans like that I remember my Dad's old yard work jeans. $5 each so I got them.  

Even with a ride I had a hard time stuffing them in a bag and getting them home, because I like the hanger.  So I have a decent amount of size smaller/14's now.  I did clean eating yesterday.  

I was hungry and craving something bad before I started work so I bought a pound of lunch meat and some sliced cheese and had THAT for a snack.  And my weight is down today so it was the right call.  I am at about 190.6 today I had gotten up to 193.  

I need to be very strict about cheats.  I am thinking to only have a cheat when I do a Bible Handout.  I also got more sliced cheese so I can make more sandwiches. I use the high fiber "keto" bread which is just fiber and 3 carbs after that, no funny business on the label like the frankenfoods. 

Work was fine. I was even kidding around a little with my boss.  I asked her if she wanted me to take something to the back.  She asked if I WANTED to. I told her "I'll do it for you!" with a grin and she liked that.  

I need to get ready for the Bible Handout. I did my Bible study.  

It's very important for me that I purge out all the pride before I go out there; God's not going to bless anything if I go out with a haughty spirit saying "God is lucky to have me doing His work".  That will end badly.  

I want to go out there with a soft and loving heart wanting to share the wonderful gift I have in Him, with people living in hard times. I want to take the right material and exist in His will, not mine.  I can't do anything on my own. I'm a flawed sinner. But I have Someone and I want to share Him. 

I need to go out like that; that's vital, especially as pride comes along because it IS such a bad area. "I'm the only one who will go" and other nonsense like that. God can raise up anyone to evangelize that area. I am completely replaceable.  I ask God to help me with this. 

And, having asked, it's done so I need to go take my shower.  

 Almost done.  I asked God to keep me humble today and one of my cases of Bibles is stuck in my cart at a crooked angle.  That'll do it!  

At lunch

 Going back to work in a few minutes.  I'm going to make it.

I need to think about God more and focus more on prayer when I get a minute.  

Thinking about the cats.  That's it for now.

Later Friday morning

 I am getting very bloated and tender so I believe my next cycle could come any day.  Probably during the handout!  I will prepare accordingly. 

The cats are good, nights are mild so I am not really seeing them sleep with me at present. 

Last night one girl in my department called in after having 2 days off and the other one called in right before having 2 days off so they got a 3 day weekend. In the meantime the boss was working me!  

I had a sandwich last night for dinner and that was good, I will do that again tonight. The keto bread doesn't mess with my weight or my blood sugar and provides a NICE dose of fiber, all I will say on that. 

I am going to go get dressed and see what I am doing for shoes today. 

The ones with the double layer of insoles SEEM OK but I will wear them around the house for a while. 

I forgot to mention, yesterday I met a man on the bus who was dressed like a homeless man. He was, however, very agitated about missing the Walmart stop he wanted to go shop. 

So I told him when we got there and he got off with me, I went my way.  I ran into him later and he thanked me, then said he had been "Kidnapped and drugged".  I thought it was a joke and then I realized "they" must have put him in the hospital on a psych hold and given him a long lasting antipsychotic or something.  But I got away from him as fast as possible and did NOT offer him anything. 

I have said this before, if you have a serious mental health condition you have an obligation to take your pills.  You owe society that.  And we are in a very liberal city so he must have been really bad for them to do that. 

I am really wondering what to do about my shoes. I think the one foot is going to hurt all day because it got damaged yesterday in those shoes.  I think it would hurt in any shoe I wear today . I will pray about it.  

I'm going to go do up some Bibles and candy and then make my lunch.  All ready to go. 

That's it for now!

Friday morning

 I thought the shoes were OK and they were,for a while,but my right heel is killing me now. It was bad enough I went ahead and bought some fancier insoles my lunch break. If those don't help I will need to go to the Sketchers store or Academy and buy some new Sketchers.  I guess that is what I get for being cheap.  

Work went OK.  We were short staffed but did alright.  My difficult boss worked until 8 PM last night and mentioned she is also working until 8 PM tonight. 

When I got home I found a box from Lifeway on the porch, a sponsor had sent an assortment of New Testaments, including a lot of Spanish, which I desperately need.  I will probably give some away on the way to work. 

Yesterday on the way to work I was led to give a man a Bible with some candy (all in a quart ziplock).  He said thank you and he had just gotten out of prison and talked a little about how kids today have no idea how bad it is in there.  I thought he could give talks at the schools to the 7-8 year old boys when they are still at an age to listen.  He was very polite and respectful. 

When I got to work my dear friend was very worried about me going to Greenspoint this weekend.  I tried to tell her about the ex-con.  I am already dealing with "tough" people but she wouldn't hear it.  I did tell her I would leave my wallet at home and only bring a little cash and my house keys when I did the handout (s).  I also noticed Imperial Valley @ Greens had a spot I might be able to use so I am thinking about that vs or in addition to the transit center.  I will have to pray. 

I actually slept OK which was fantastic. I just have to be very strict with caffeine. 

That's it for now.  

Thursday AM

 I went back to bed for a while.  For some reason, when I drink instant green tea I feel very sick and miserable.  I won't be buying any more. It is also possible I had low grade interactions from my morning medications (with each other).  At any rate I was able to get about an hour's sleep.  

I got up, did my God Time, organized my evangelism stuff, tracts in particular.  I was happy to note I had several tracts directed at JW's.  I will order more as well.  

I had some cotton things in the dryer, some flare leg pants, and a couple of t shirts, they had gotten very wrinkled the last time I tried to dry them so I sat by and hung them the minute the buzzer went off.  I hang nearly all my clothes, t shirts, jeans, and the regular stuff you hang up as well.  I keep socks and underwear in the dresser along with some bras, etc.  

I am about to take my shower, then I will do up my lunch, get dressed, and do up the material I am taking for the day.  My friend Linda said one shipment is arriving today so I am hoping it comes before I leave.  It's primarily Spanish material I think and I meet a lot of them on the bus. 

The cats are good and actually ate most of the old food so I fed them again.  

I ordered a few tracts with the Fellowship Tract League.  Ron really liked their version of "Where are you going to spend eternity?"  Several different "guys" have done the tract but he liked their phrasing the best.  

I have to go.

I went to bed early

 And slept about 6 hours, up again.  When I woke up I really had to pee so maybe that woke me up?  I don't know.  

I need to figure out an eating plan I have been cheating a lot and I don't want to gain anymore.  I am not really up any sizes but I want to keep it that way. Atkins says keep it around 40 grams of carbs if you have less than 40 pounds to lose so that seems like a good start.  

I went with a 12% carbs (about 48 grams), 25% protein, 63% fat plan with Carb Manager.  I don't blame the app for my weight gain it's me.  I use food as a tranquilizer and a reward.  

I set up my shoes.  I bought 2 identical black pair sneakers.  Mens 10 W four EEEE.  Very comfortable and I couldn't beat the price of $17 plus my discount. I got some Air Plus Blue gel insoles with it.  You can get the insoles at Walmart on the foot care aisle for about $6 (plus my discount) so for about $20 I had a really nice set of shoes.  The last time I bought work shoes I was spending $80 a pair and I can't afford that if they're only going to last 6-8 months.  And I wasn't even wearing them every day, very disappointing.  

So I had to cut off all the tags and stuff, they were laced up OK.  Then trim the insoles to fit a size 10 men's shoe, did that.  Put the insoles in the shoe and try it out, it's good.  Then how to tell the shoes apart?  I like to wear my work shoes every other day.  So I went looking for my safety pins I figured I would put a small pin on each of one pair shoes and then I could tell them apart.  

Ron once went shopping for shoes and liked one particular model; so he bought one pair each in white and black.  He used to leave for work before I got up when he worked in San Francisco and one day he called me from work.  The shoes felt identical so he had worn one white and one black shoe to work.  He was very embarrassed. 

I found a small plastic storage box, opened it, and found my "old" collection of menstrual cups including my very first one.  I had two in a design I no longer like it is too long and uncomfortable although it looks to have a good capacity.  I figure some woman will find it and love it during the tribulation.  I had a Diva Cup in there which looks good and I will put that into rotation, and my first cup which is a softer purple silicone that has a smaller capacity.  

I really like this brand for a couple of reasons, it does the job, is comfortable, doesn't leak, holds up well.  It is also literally 10% of what the other guys charge for one item and you get two so you are paying 5% what most are charging retail.  I like the large but everyone's different.  I have a couple different ones.  They seem to be very popular on Amazon as well which makes me happy.  A good product should make a lot of money for the manufacturer.  

I will go boil the Diva Cup I can't remember the last time I washed it. It has been in it's bag, in a sealed box, for years but still...

Anyway I found the pins and "marked"my shoes.  No one ever looks at my feet and if they do I don't care if they see a safety pin on each shoe.  If they ask I will tell them why. I know I personally never notice anyone's feet unless they are wearing a very loud colored sneaker or their shoes are falling apart.  

I am doing a little bit of laundry while I am up anyway.  It's not fun to get off for the week and face a pile of laundry as I'm sure you know.  Better to get that over with.  I figure, I'm up anyway. 

I think I will go listen to "Insomniac" by Trip Lee and go back to bed for a while.  

Wednesday after work

 I did a poll on the bus today going to work and the driver, and my buddy the slower guy, both agreed that the Greenspoint area is "worse" than the Acres Homes area so I will probably get it this weekend.  

I got to work OK.  I was wearing the Sketchers shoes I bought with extra padding, got them back in September and boy they crapped out today.  My feet are still killing me.  I put them in the "donate" pile at home.  

I did get an extra couple of months out of them by using the blue gel inserts so I bought 2 more pair of them today.  

I didn't buy much before work except some Diet Dew and some donuts.  I just got 2.  The difficult boss was off today so that was a load off.  I still worked hard, I always do.  At one point I was not happy with my thought process/attitude having pity parties and feeling sullen about working, I didn't express any of this but did take it to God.  I asked Him to help and He did.  I finished out the day strong.  

Now a while back I had cut through the men's shoe department and saw some nice looking shoes so I went over there after work and had a look.  I tried some on and found the $17 pair were the most comfortable, and that was after a long day on my feet in "bad" shoes, so I bought 2 pair along with the blue gel inserts.  That should hold me for a while.  The Sketchers work about 6-8 months so even if I only get a few months I will be happy. 

I bought easy low carb things like hard boiled eggs, cheese, lunch meat, pepperoni.  I can do a lot with that. I also got a gallon of milk and some keto bread as well. 

My friend (cab driver) said he could get me at 4 only so I hurried and got it all done. Then he ran a little late which I thought was funny.  

When I got home I put it all away and tried to take a nap, but couldn't. The cats are doing very well, I saw Cleo and Spotty grooming each other.  It makes me happy to see cats grooming each other. 

I had wanted to get a nice manual pedometer but boy they have gotten expensive.  I don't want a wrist mounted unit because sometimes I am pushing/pulling a cart and my arms aren't moving.  I also don't want another app on my phone.  Even Amazon didn't have anything below $10 so I will have to think about that. 

I have a decent amount of tracts so I need to decide if I want to get more.  

That's it for now.  

Made it to work

 Did a little poll on the bus; they think Greenspoint would be better served by a Bible Handout.  I should be getting some of my Spanish this Friday so I will have materials.  I already have some English.

I need to check the weather on that..

Paycheck dropped so that's good.  Ron used to use a crude term about "The Eagle" when his Social Security had dropped.

I need to look at my budget as I want to order some tracts this week.  I have a ride home.  

That's it for now.  

Catching up the last few days

 Work has been alright except for another associate dumping work on me.  I got in trouble yesterday because I had not been able to do that in addition to my "real" work so I was a little irked about that. They hire these young kids who do nothing but gossip and talk on their cell phone constantly and then I have to clean up their messes. I don't think that's fair but is it MAJOR?  No.  

And, when lecturing me, my boss (for the first time) said "You are a hard worker and a very nice person but..." but she has never prefaced anything with a compliment first just gone straight to the criticism.  So she is trying, I think.  I don't envy her one bit, I think my job is bad...

Transportation has been fine.  I have been mixing up what I give the drivers.  Candy every day, one day with New Testaments, one day with Scripture booklets. I did a small Bible Handout yesterday at the transit center.  No one came running up to chase me off so I was right that I can do that.  

I had stuff I had bought with my own money.  So when an older black man came up and asked for "whatever I could spare I know some people..." I was able to give him everything I had left.  He knows people I don't; can go where I can't.  Plus God gave me a Yes on that.  He had a little boy with him. 

It started raining after I gave him the material (some Bible studies on John and a half dozen or so New Testaments, I couldn't bring a lot because it had to go to work first) so I went to"my" bus shelter and waited, he came with me and the little boy, who had a Bible name.  The man looked up schedules on his cell phone while the little boy came over with his truck and wanted to play with me.  

Normally I am uncomfortable interacting with little kids but he was cute and God gave me a Yes on that too so we played with the truck until my bus came.  My driver was a pretty cranky fellow who shouted at customers, honked his horn a lot, etc.  I was glad I had given him a Scripture booklet.  

And I had the poor Latina lady again.  Monday a Latina lady got off at my home bus stop and was completely freaked out that I got off, too, and "followed" her. I was just going home; she didn't see that.  She was freaked out enough she took a later bus yesterday but so did I due to the Bible handout.  So she was really freaked out looking over her shoulder.  I am a white middle aged lady.  I can't imagine what she would have done if I'd been a young Black man. 

She needs to get better at threat assessment.  A middle aged white lady who is cleanly dressed is not likely to be a a threat.  My hair was clean and styled, my clothes were fresh that morning, etc.  I was wearing Sketchers which are not cheap, either. At least not to me.  

Oh and a hair pic.  I had someone take a a photo in the breakroom.  It had been hours since I had done it up so it's a little unraveled but you get the idea.  It has been working for me, I may keep doing this. The only minus I can see there is a weird white lady at work.  She likes to tell me about her dog's digestive upset and her family sounds completely dysfunctional.  A couple years ago her very large adult autistic son came into the store, pitched a fit, and destroyed a display.  They had to throw him out; and she keeps bringing him into the store. Anyway this lady also wears her hair in a similar braid and I don't want people to think I am emulating her.  

I am glad I don't have a big bald patch I was worried about that. But it is out of the way, it worked really well on the Handouts so I carried it over.  Only minus the end does flip around and smack me on the side of the face when I bend over.  But it's working for now.  

I got home OK (rain dried up pretty quick), went to bed early, slept alright except for waking up a few times.  I had the cats with me which is always a bonus.  

I got paid today so I plan to do my "heavy" shopping after work and get a ride home.  I am thinking about getting some posterboard so I can make a Free Bibles sign in Spanish. I got some wide tip markers the other day at work so I can do that I just need the board. And I want to get a gallon of milk, some bread, etc. stuff that doesn't ride well on the bus. 

I need to call my cab guy and get that set up when I get to work.  

I have my candy done up getting to work at least, and 1-2 for the ride home. The cab driver has encouraged me to give his teen boys the candy + scripture booklets.  

That's it for now!  

Work was OK

 Just long going and coming back.  

I got my Scripture booklets, happy about that.  

I am really tired so going to bed early.  

Rabid Trump train supporter in break room

 I finally told her to look around and see if anyone agreed with her and that shut her up.  

GOD IS ON THE THRONE.  I don't worry about politics.

I hate politics at work and told her that several different ways but she wouldn't hear it.

I will say privately I hear good things about De Santis from those who live in FL.

We may have an illegal alien influx but if they come here they are getting a Bible.  They all sure wanted them this weekend!  

Please pray for them!  🤗

Monday morning

 I had a terrible time falling asleep last night and woke up twice. I just asked God to give me enough rest and I feel He did.  

I am a little worried about those dogs 1 dog of a friendly breed I don't worry about but I do worry about pit bulls and chows.  That said my father in law had shepherd/chow mixes.  They were very sweet with us but vicious with intruders. They had good memories, too. One time we came to visit his parents and they were out of town.  

We had been there 6 months previously.  Ron had a key so I said let's "try" to get in the house.  And they let us.  But when a salesman came by they did the Cujo routine. I just wonder things like how hungry are they. 

I had food on my cart as well, yesterday, and I'm sure they smelled it. Anyway, God is on the throne so I am not going to make myself bald over this.  

I am going to take a shower.  I had a very nice sleep with the cats. I did get a little cool but I had the quilt right there so I could just reach over and pull it on top. 

I have had some problems on Bible Handouts with my hair. I wear the baseball cap "Ask me for Free Bibles" so I couldn't put up my hair, I had it in a ponytail a few weeks running.  One very hot day the ponytail wrapped itself around my neck like some kind of hideous fur scarf. I kept yanking it off. Other times it would get under the strap of my bag and pull.  So yesterday I braided it (I never braid my hair) and it worked very well.  I just know how to do the very basic "over, under" plait nothing fancy like a French braid or anything. But it kept my hair out of the way and looking decent. 

I may do that again, today. But first I need to take my shower.  Did that, braided my hair today, too.  That should suffice until I cut it.  It just doesn't look good very long. What I mean is, when it is very long it doesn't look good, the ends get scraggly.  When it is shorter I have nice waves and curls, when it's long it is more lackluster.  

Ron always liked it long even though he didn't really touch it.  He just liked knowing it was long. I wanted to cut it after he died but he had told me a gem from psychology classes he took: don't make a major decision the first year after a major event.  So I waited.  But I am ready to cut it now. 

If I remarry and he likes long hair it doesn't take long to grow out. But long,graying, brown hair is just not a great look, but I don't want to die it either.  

If I dye it, it looks fake and then I have to keep it up which is not appealing.  That's one reason I stopped with the henna (that and it looked bad with my complexion). 

I am going to eat my apple fritter.  I bought one for this morning and I want to keep the food smells to a minimum today in case those dogs are around.  

Biscuit wants my chair so that's it for now.  

So I got a PM

 From a lady I have known a while on Facebook.  Without letting too many details out I admire her as she went out of her way (it was a long process) to adopt a disabled child of another race. 

She asked if she could help buy Bibles, which is great as I am going through a lot of late. I just feel like time is short and I have to get them out as quick as I can...anyway.  

She got me thinking about the kinds of sponsors I have had over the years.  There were the people who just wanted to mail me a check and read my reports on the Handouts. There were people (like Eric, who actually met us) who got my mailing address, picked out Bibles, and mailed them to my home.  I suggested this route for my friend as I think she will have fun "shopping" and that way she can tailor to her budget.  I have another sponsor doing this as well but I think I may need more than one at the rate God has me going! 

Then I had the Go Fund Me for a while and people REALLY liked that, I just bought whatever I needed (and was able to get some nicer Bibles as well) with that. 

I am not asking for sponsors but if you ship me a case of Bibles I will definitely hand it out!  

If you are looking to hand out Bibles I REALLY like these: affordable, compact, whole New Testament, readable translation, appealing cover.  The Invitation

Twice in my life I was gifted a Bible.  Once at church they had a little ceremony for "graduating" third graders who could  read, they called us up front by name and presented us with very nice whole Bibles with gilt edges and fake leather padded covers. I still have it. I wish all my recipients could get a Bible like that.  

The second time I was a highly depressed teenager and a Gideon gave me a nice little New Testament with some study helps in it, in a lurid shade or orange, when I was leaving school one day.  If I see the little Gideon Bibles at a thrift shop I always pick them up and, if usable, hand them out again. 

That's it for now.  

Bible Handout update!

 So every weekend when I leave the house I encounter the JW's at my bus stop with the mobile literature display.  Sometimes I would chat with them, enough that they knew I had cats, and when I started up the Handouts again they could tell (sign on my cart, asking me where I was going, etc). 

Today when I left the house with about 80 Bibles I met them again at the bus stop and they said they had "something special" for me.  One of the ladies had found a kitten and they brought him (I checked) out.  It was an adorable, tiny, brown and white tabby, a coloration I have always wanted.  He was sweet and precious.  

But I had a job to do, Biscuit would (rightly) object, and a check of his butt showed blood which indicated he had a bad worm problem as well.  So I declined and gave them the name of a rescue charity that takes in kittens.  

I headed off to Acres Homes, which had not changed much in the several years since my last Handout there.  It was a little slow to start but man, the Spanish...I brought a case of 24 Spanish Bibles, some Spanish New Testaments, and some Spanish Scripture booklets and I went through it ALL. I could do a Spanish only Bible handout next time. It was loco!

English only did very well as well.  I could talk to the people at the bus stop and handed out a few that way. One shirtless guy on a moped kept coming by,along with a guy in a yellow Corvette. Neither wanted a Bible but I guess they were thinking.  

One older Black couple asked for Bibles,she wanted 4 and he wanted 2.  I guess they had some people in mind.  I brought what was left of the kid Bibles, about a dozen, and they were also very popular. 

I had NKJV New Testaments for the English, they had a lovely cover, nice print size and easy to transport but no plan of salvation, so I put various tracts in each, knowing God had the right tract for each recipient.  

I did 50 English, 26 Spanish, about 10? Kid Bibles. I didn't notice the time when I started but was out there over an hour. 

After I was done I rode the bus up Antoine to Victory and got some fritters from the Shipleys (I had to walk through the drive through as they shut the lobby at noon), then I went to the grocery store to buy some cold drinks. Then I came home. 

I am afraid of dogs so I was not happy someone's had gotten out, I was followed by a pack of 2 pitbulls and a chow a couple of blocks coming home but God protected me. 

Please pray for the recipients!  

Before the Handout

 I slept great, only woke up once. 

Getting ready to go do my Handout.  I packed the cart last night and just need to take my shower and dress. I already did my God Time, sufficiently pumped up to GO GET EM.  

God's in charge of this as always so He will work out the details. I have about 80 Bibles?  I don't keep exact count because I already have a horrible ego problem.  

Look at all the good I'm doing, God is lucky to have me!  

Nope, nope, nope. I am just a tool in the shed. I don't know how many Bibles I have handed out total but estimate it at around 5K or so if you twist my arm (Dad wanted some kind of number last night) as most Handouts I would average about 100. 

But it's all WORTHLESS if I am not saved, if God does not work on the recipients, if I am not praying (and asking you to pray which I am) for them. 

I need to get my shower. I am playing my Bible Handout mix.  

I will put up the link even though it has my last name. Please don't make me regret this: 

Bible Handout Playlist

I need to get going. 

I do think I will bring my old cell phone and play the music on it. 

Saturday night

 I had a good nap but woke with a headache. It was also very hot so I broke down and turned on the AC.  There is saving money and there is being foolish.  I will be glad when the Excedrin kicks in.  

And the stupid cup got stuck again it was comical getting it out.  I am careful placing it. But I hadn't slept well, either.  

I got my cart set up for tomorrow I plan to go to Acres Homes aka "Satan's doorstep". I have 50 New Testaments, some kid Bibles, and a case of Spanish Bibles. 

I have a case and a half of "Invitation" New Testaments, some large print (maybe half a case), and 2 cases of NIV Bibles left and that is it. My goal is to always be running out of Bibles.  

I am seriously considering going to bed early tonight. 

That's it for now.  

Handout Update

 I was maxing out my grocery cart with the loads of Bibles so Dad sent me a heavy duty folding cart.  It took me a minute to figure out how to load it this morning.  I told God "You're The Great Engineer You built everything, please help me get this all loaded and stable"  and He did.  

I had about 70 pounds of Bibles on the cart, a case of whole Spanish, a case of KJV whole English, and my tote bag with things like Kid Bibles and small New Testaments.  I also had some New Testaments in bags of candy for my first two drivers. 

I parked in a different spot on the median and I was glad I did because my usual spot had a huge, angry-looking, fire ant mound.  I don't watch where I step so that could have been really bad.  

It was a little slow at first but it picked up.  I gave away all the Spanish first and I had a lot of families Mom or Dad wanted a Spanish and some English for the kids. 

Today it was interesting, poor people in Houston generally have the window down in hot weather because they can't afford an AC in the car or they can't afford to fix it.  So I could talk to the recipients a little. I found it funny, one person would wave me over and ask for a Bible or two, the other cars would hear and see this, see I didn't eat anyone, and ask me for some too. I handed out a lot that way. I gave one guy a couple Spanish Bibles and he drove away, but came back about 5 minutes later asking for another one which of course I provided. 

I was out there for about 90 minutes, 48 Bibles for sure. For people who said they already had a Bible I asked them to pray for "everyone who gets a Bible" and I will ask that of you, too. 

I may have some fun news for you tomorrow but I need to pray on it and seek God's will first. 

My Bibles were donated by a missionary Bible society and boy did they tape those boxes!  I had a heck of a time breaking them down, after!  

Very early Saturday

 Work was OK.  I think my coworkers felt less resentful about my schedule seeing I was there Friday night.  It was pretty uneventful just the way I like it.  

I didn't mention I had the weekend off but when a coworker asked if she would see me Monday I said yes.  My cab driver buddy got me tonight; he is happily married and has NEVER expressed any interest in anything beyond a candy bar, so I bought him said candy bar and a cold Dr Pepper (his favorite) on my way out.  Of course I paid him, too.  He is getting me next Friday, too. I also got another color of the lacy underwear I like and made sure to put that one in my Bible bag after I rang it up as I did NOT want to give that to him by accident!  

My adoptive/step mother has a family history going back through her Dad, of firefighting going back over 150 years.  None of my generation were interested aside from her oldest boy, who only did it for a while.  But his oldest was very interested, did the paramedic-to-fireman route and just graduated from the fire academy to become a full fledged firefighter in his town last night so I did NOT speak to Mom and Dad.  My aunt was in bed by the time I got home as well so I just went to bed with the cats. 

I slept well for about, oh wow only 4 hours and woke up at 2:30.  I laid in bed for over half an hour praying about recipients, thanking God for good things in my life, etc.  I finally got up for a while. 

I guess I can check my schedule.  Same thing as the next couple weeks.  

When I got home I saw all 3 cats on the porch.  My friend started laughing and said something, when I got out, Biscuit ran up yelling at me.  It was pretty funny. He's used to me getting off at 4, home at 6, so to him I was "late".  But he did sleep with me when I went to bed.  

I am up boiling my menstrual cup for next week.  The house is as cool as it's going to get so now's a good time to do it.  And the cup has come in handy a few times the last month or so. One day I had a full blown flow and other days I had spotting but it didn't matter because I had been using the cup.  I plan to use the cup until I've gone 1-2 years without anything. 

When I started my cycle was very irregular, and heavy, so I never knew when it was coming, but when it did come it always came hard with torrential bleeding.  I believe I was pretty anemic much of my teen years.  I got sick of that so I really like the cup every day. No drama. 

But first I have to get it boiled. I boil once a week and then wash with plain soap every night when I take it out.  I have been doing this for months with no issue.  I also have 2 cups and rotate one a week. 

It works.  I put this out there because I have some readers my age and this is a good fix if you have erratic cycles like I do.  I had a cycle in January, very light spotting in Feb, nothing until early May.  But it didn't matter; the day I did have a flow the cup was there to catch it. I usually wear a cloth pad with (a light one) just in the unlikely event I have a leak.  I can also have light bladder issues if I am coughing a lot and allergens have been bad lately. It works for me.  

This is a process and will take a while.  I am OK with that it gives me more time to lose weight. And I forgot to weigh myself this morning. 

So I need to do my Bible study, shower, eat, get the cart set up to go, and go do my Handout. I don't plan to go early as people naturally want to sleep in on Saturday.  

But that's it for now. 

My boss is working late tonight

 I had a problem with a customer earlier I hope he doesn't come back.

Boss is working late and acting manic which is exhausting.  She leaves at 8 she said so I will see.

But I have 2 days off coming up which I have not mentioned to my coworkers.  No sense making them hate me.

I have a ride home tonight which will save me hours.  

Debating go to bed early vs stay up and do laundry.  Again, we will see.  

That's it for now.  

A note to the author of deleted comments

 You don't have to like me or my choices but you must respect my faith.

If you are angry that poor people want Bibles you can always go hand out "Origin of Species" by darwin.

This is integral to my faith, sharing my faith AS COMMANDED BY JESUS.

But I will allow some other less flattering comments as I see fit as I don't want an echo chamber.  Ie - those pants don't flatter you.  

I love you all and PRAY HARD you will repent before the Rapture and hell unleashed.  

I did not sleep well

 The news about Beau threw me for a loop.  I was interested in him; he had a bad heart. What is it with me and men with bad hearts?  

Very glad, as I said before, that I am saved and we never did anything physical. Can you imagine if he had a heart attack and died in my bed?  The Medical Examiner would go nuts.  Heather the Black Widow.  No thanks.  

Not to mention I do care about him and I feel bad that he is going through this.  But I don't think I will see him again as his job was pretty physical. 

I really crave a man who can go on Bible Handouts with me and that means he has to be able to run up and down a median carrying Bibles, pick up Bibles and put them in the car, etc. I could work with a guy who had a physical issue or two but a bad heart is kind of a deal killer.  

I could work with something like CP, pre existing stroke (not the toothless white man though), missing leg or something but I am not interested in another blind man. 

So all this swirling around in my head last night. 

I have also been giving thought to where I will do my next Bible Handout.  I want to go to DeSoto and Antoine I did that a lot in the past, it is a really horrible neighborhood.  But for now I am getting a No on that so I will go to my "new" usual spot Saturday I guess.  

I also want to go over by Greenspoint that is also a terrible area but they are doing road work on the corner I liked to use.  But I am going to CLAIM that the minute it opens up!  The area just keeps getting worse and worse. 

I prefer to go to a really bad area as they are positively STARVING for the Word.  A nicer neighborhood they all think they don't need God and I get lectured.  They try to give me money in a dismissive fashion. I have been to some really nice areas but was "lucky" to do about 20 Bibles in a 2 hour period which is really bad for me. 

One notable handout I did 120 Bibles in half an hour. God did all the work, I just went. Ron was with me and he was blown away.  But I think Ron's favorite handout will always be the first one where a guy rode up on a horse that whiffed at Ron's hair and he (the man on the horse) wanted a couple of Bibles. Then they (there was another man) rode away clopping hooves fading off into the distance. 

I found some more signs in the garage I want to check those out this morning as my current sign is pretty battered.  It does the job,though.  

I found a better one with "God Loves You" written under the "Free Bibles" portion.  A man at the Post Office made me a solid sign which would be very nice to take in a car but impossible to get on a bus.  I said Thank You anyway though. The laminated poster board works pretty well for me now. 

It has to fit on a handcart, whatever it is.  I mean, maybe I WILL meet a fantastic guy born again feels as strongly as I do about evangelism and can drive me to Handouts, but odds are he will have to work at times and I will still need to go by myself.   

I have 6 English New Testaments today, a couple of Spanish, a couple kid New Testaments (written at a second grade reading level), and a few Bible Promise books as the guy yesterday really liked his.  I will be wearing my hat. 

A note about the kid New Testaments.  I gave one to a paratransit driver and she took it home and read it, kept it for herself and kept asking for another "for her daughter, because this is the only Bible I can read" and I had a little thought or two about the fact we were putting our safety in the hands of someone who read at a second grade level.  We had her regularly for a while (and yes of course I gave her a second one).  

If I had to guess I would say the schools are very bad these days if that is what they are turning out (I asked on another occasion if she graduated high school and she said yes).   I remember classes I had when I was in the hospital for depression and they had us read a Dickens book and then watch the movie, before we had the test.  Like we were too stupid to pick it up from the book. 

It is graduation season. I had two families come by from a Christian school yesterday, the kids wore monogrammed polo shirts.  Both mothers (separate occasions) behaved very immaturely in a way that really was a bad witness especially if your kid is walking around in a shirt with the school name.  And that, I told my Hindu co worker (after they left) is why I don't wear a cross I don't want to embarrass Jesus if I lose my temper one day. 

That's it for now. More, probably, later. 

Got some news about Beau

 He has a bad heart and went back to get treatment.  

Bad heart.  Like Ron.  No wonder he never pursued me..

Can you imagine if I had not been saved, jumped him and he died in my bed?  😵

I'm going to call that a narrow escape for us both...

Thursday afternoon

 I had a good trip to work but did note 2 homeless men have moved into the bus shelter in front of work.  I just got off and walked past.

I wore the hat and did give away a few Bibles.  I gave a Bible, my testimony, and a Bible Promise book to one man spouting BLM rhetoric.  I explained I had been married many years, accident "It took him 20 years to die" and he really listened when I told him how God had carried me.  I was glad God could use me in that moment I do nothing without Him.  Very clear on that.  

I asked his (the man's) opinion on my next handout and he suggested acres homes which I had been considering.

At work now.  I developed a nasty headache but some Diet Dew and a fried lemon pie have helped.  That's it for now.

Thursday morning

 The house was pretty hot last night.  I have the thermostat set at about 87 but it is more accurately probably around 82.  It does come on and run when needed but I was a little warm last night so I took the quilt off the bed.  

In winter I have layers of blankets and the quilt, plus a sheet. I had stripped most of that off to just the quilt and the sheet but even that was a little warm, so I threw (advantage of living alone) the quilt on the floor and got a cotton bedspread (bought from IKEA many years ago it is handwoven a natural cotton color) and put that on the sheet instead.  But last night it got in the 60's so I got cold.  

SO (long story short) I will put the quilt back on the bed next to me not on me so I can pull it over as needed.  

God led me to check my work app and I had been logged out (have been expecting this a log in session is only good about a month). So I was able to log in at home which is easier but still not easy.  I still have trouble switching between the apps without closing them how you pull it up from the bottom of the screen, sometimes it doesn't want to do that.  But I asked Him for help, got it, and got logged in again presumably for another month now. 

I have plenty of time to get ready and it is still pretty cool out which is good as my jeans need a good run in the dryer.  They were still pretty wet.  I cleaned the lint trap, too.  

At some point I need to clean the dryer vent and I think that will help a lot.  It goes into the wall and takes a 90 degree turn,going straight up. I am guessing that bend is full of junk. 

The other day going to work it just hit me Ron is dead and then I thought "That's what he wanted".  Ever since he died in the accident and came back; he couldn't wait to die again.  He would not overtly harm himself (drinking 10-12 shots a day aside) but he kept begging me not to have him brought back when he did die. And I did tell them to stop.  

I need to figure out meals too. I got up at 7, get to work around 1.  Lunch probably around 5-6. 

Normally breakfast I do a sausage bowl, I have that.  Lunch before work last time I think I did nuts and cheese, so will probably do that with a little carrot juice (love the stuff!). Dinner I am thinking a sandwich on keto bread with some milk.

I will figure it out; I'm going to do my God Time and take a shower.  Oh I also updated my sidebar links and put links to the Bible suppliers if you ever want to hand out a few on your own.  

I plan to bring some Bibles with candy (for drivers) and some on their own (just to hand out if anyone asks) and wear my Free Bibles hat.  I am feeling unmotivated and probably require more caffeine.  

All ready to go.  I may or may not do a night time post but will probably check comments on my lunch this evening.  

That's it for now.  

Wednesday night

 Once I got home I did some bad eating and just exhausted tonight.  I need to remember that.  

But it is so fun to me how God lines things up, the car from Louisiana passing me and wanting Bibles, the trash truck came right as I was walking down the street, I ran up to the cab with 3 Bibles in bags of candy, he asked me were they Bibles and when I said yes he rolled the window down all the way and took them...the cashier at my last grocery store who asked for Bibles, I unpacked everything and gave her an adult and a kid Bible, packed it again, she got a look at the kid Bible and wanted another so I had to unpack again 😂 but everyone in my lane including the cashier was really nice and patient.  

That is why next time I will put the groceries on the bottom and the Bibles on the top.  

I don't know why I keep running into the creepy, toothless, racist, white man but I only had to deal with him a few minutes today. Hopefully he remembered what I said to him about dialing down his opinions on the bus or he's going to end up losing ALL his teeth, especially on THAT route. 

I think I am going to lay down again. 

So the other day I was working and a woman came up to me with 3 packs of underwear in her hands.  Asked where is the fitting room so I can try these on?  I said you cannot try those on EVER.  She got all nasty with me and said Victoria's Secret let her do it so what was the big deal?  We (another co worker with me) explained we would have to destroy any underwear that got tried on and I showed her the size chart on the package.  She said the size chart was not accurate as anything that fit her waist did not fit her hips and vice versa.  I got a good look at her and her waist and hips were about the same.  She said she was going to go buy her underwear somewhere else like she was threatening us and my coworker said GOOD.  So that was that.  

But I do like the "bin" underwear I got and I will get some more. I like it a lot and it is cute and comfy.  It is a lot better than I expected.  Now that I am home I am wearing my booty shorts and my cat face tank top, it is covered in tiny cat faces.  I bought both of those at work.  

 I talked to my parents and my aunt (not at the same time) so I feel loved and socialized for the day.  That's it for now.  

I'm not putting this on Facebook

I had a couple dozen Bibles when I left the house today, on my hand cart.  I had them in the bottom but next time will put them on the top.  

I had a small sign on the cart advertising the Free Bibles and also wore my Free Bibles hat.  I had a lady pulling me over before I even got out of the subdivision and it didn't stop.  People on the bus, at the bus stop, vendors at the grocery store, etc.  That's the idea though and I will be keeping it up. 

I honestly lost track of how many I did and how do you count someone who wants more than one?  I had a few of that.  

A while back I got to thinking about my underwear.  It is fine, and does the job, but a week or two ago I bought a nicer piece I thought I would wear on my day off.  I wore it today and it was very comfortable so I can get that in other colors now if I want.  No, it wasn't a thong, I hate those things.  

It wasn't too hot to start but is oppressively hot and sunny today.  And I forgot to bring my insulated bag.  I was so worried packing Spanish, Kid Bibles, New Testaments in my cart I forgot about the cold bag.  

Kroger did have the Power Greens so I bought 2 TV dinners to keep it cold while I ran to the other store.  They still looked pretty fresh when I put them up just now so I feel OK with that.  I also got a gallon of regular whole milk at my last stop.  

The day was productive handing out Bibles.  If you are so minded I would love prayer for 1.  The recipients to dig into the Bibles and grow in God and 2.  Protection for me.  

Unfortunately the racist white guy who had the stroke got on my last bus today but at least I didn't have to wait with him at the bus stop.  He kept trying to talk to me, though.  Ugh.  

Here's a hint, if I ran out of candy at 10 AM, and am handing my last driver a candy bar at 11:30, she is Black, I am probably not ALSO a racist. 

I had a decent mood and energy level for all this so that was good.  Taking a nap. 

Sorry I didn't post last night but I was beat

 So I took the bus to work for the first time in several months and it worked out OK. The last bus was pretty empty actually. I got to work, clocked in OK, and started work.  

I had been worried a boss might be upset at me but as it turns out no one was. So that was a relief.  I did my job pretty well. 

I was going to take my break at 3:30 after the meeting but they never called it. So I took my break at 4:10 and they called the meeting right after I had bought a nice pair of clearance jeans. 

So I carried the jeans back to where they had the meeting and my boss asked about them.  I explained.  She said I should have put them in a bag and I told her they were about to go in MY bag when they called the meeting, I would like to do that, grab my piece of cheese and come back and I would call my break done.  She said something about the hanger but I told her I like the hangers so she said I could keep it (it was on a hanger for sale).  So I did that, came back to the meeting with my Diet Mountain Dew and my piece of cheese and ate the cheese during the meeting to much teasing.  But I was fine with that it was delicious.  

I gave one of my Dews to a fellow Diet Dew lover (he is into black women so I don't need to worry about what message I might be sending),  I had what I call a sausage bowl just cooked sausage with a handful of shredded cheese, for breakfast, then had a sandwich for lunch with keto bread, then the cheese, and I was fine.  

I will do that the next couple weeks. 

So I finished work and left with my bag of Bibles (the black and white bag you see in the photos), and carrying the black and yellow backpack.  The sky looked very ominous but I can't afford another ride so I went ahead and ran for the bus stop, made it.  

The rain started most of the way to my transfer point and by the time I got off the bus it was coming down in buckets.  I had my rain coat and I was really glad the Bibles were in ziplocks.  I stood there in the shelter which is right next to the street, of course. I would pop my head out occasionally to search for my bus which they said would come in about 15 minutes. 

I'm going to assume you drive, here.  You know when it rains the gutter fills up with a lot of water in a heavy rain?  So you can't really drive in the lane closest to the curb without sending up sheets of water all over whoever is standing on the sidewalk?  

Yeah.  I had a couple of them just couldn't wait to drench us. There was another lady with me, a heavier set Hispanic lady clad in a t shirt and jeans, she got so soaked you could see her bra under her shirt. I had my jacket so my electronics (stun gun and cell phone) were OK but I was drenched pretty much from hips to feet.  I kept thinking this would be miserable in the winter. 

We were waiting on the same bus.  But it is a shared stop with several buses coming by so if I see the "wrong" bus I hold up the bag with the candy and New Testament up so the driver can see it and if they want it they stop. Plenty of them change lanes to get away from me,though. 😂  But some stop, I tell them "I'm not riding I just want to give you this" and hand it over.  Some of them just automatically shut the door when I get on and I have to ask them to open the door again.  I always find that one funny. Most of the drivers are utterly shocked I am doing this but it is a good way to get some more people. 

I have been told the drivers do talk about me so at least some of them presumably know they are stopping for the "Candy Lady" as I am called. 

And speaking of candy I need to buy more. I am doing a load of clothes real quick once I get them into the dryer (plan to dry later) I will head out.  

That's if for now; the cats are well.  

Later Tuesday morning

 Well I feel better after doing my Bible study.  Biscuit joined me, he was very cute, and knocked down some Bibles I had on the bed to be distributed at a future point (whole Bibles too big to carry in my bag everyday).  I have Jesus everywhere in that room it's really His room now.  I do my Bible study there, have my devotional stuff there. Then I have the candy/Bible distribution stuff in there as well (some of it, some is in the front room and some in the garage).  

Back in the 80's some churches were asking what was, back then, a radical question  "If you got arrested for being would there be enough evidence to convict you".  😂  Now there is.  

Anyway it was fun hanging out with Biscuit, I like having a cat around during God Time.  I don't pet the cat, whoever it is, we are just companionable.  

I have decided my one boss may have some questions about a job and I will frankly explain to her I do not know how to do it and request training.  She will say I had it (I didn't) but she will do it or arrange it.  That problem solved.  I want to be useful at work.  

I want to be useful in my faith as well, usable, rather.  

I plan to bring 10 New Testaments as I have had a pretty good time handing out 5 or so on the way home, so logic dictates 5 each way, maybe?  I will see.  I don't care if that bag sits next to my lunch bag in the breakroom while I am working because I don't care if someone takes one. 

That incense made me nauseous.  I need to remember not to burn that on an empty stomach. I still have 2 hours before I need to go. 

Shower time. I am a little uptight about washing my long hair every day because the front part (literally, the part in the front) just looks bad if I don't.  I can also get a jump on shaving my legs for tomorrow.  

That's done. I just need to pay the water bill, get dressed, and pack my lunch. 

That's it for now.  

Early Tuesday

 When I got to work yesterday I wanted to buy some Diet Dew but they were out, all they had was Dew Zero.  They didn't even have regular Dew not that I would have bought that (corn syrup!).  

So I bought the Dew Zero which caused food cravings unlike the diet Dew.  And it also kept me up most of the night as well.  I had forgotten it did this last time. 

I have several things I do in my job.  Sometime back my primary boss said forget about Job A and focus on B-Z.  So I've been doing this.  Now I had other bosses asking what about Job A, I "have to focus on that" so I will have to make that all work.  I also got "Feedback" in one of the work apps but those are only on the work phones and guess what I don't have?  

Primary boss did say she had ordered me a work phone, though. That didn't help me sleep though.  

Today is only 4 hours but I ride the bus there for the first time in several months.  That will be interesting, BUT it saves me $20 in my pocket.  Well, $19.40.  

So enough about work. I will bring some material with me and see how that goes handing it out. I figure if I leave 3 hours before work I will get there 1 hour before and that sounds workable.  It will be good practice for next week. It is barely 6:30 and certainly light out so I shouldn't have issues there.  

I really slept badly last night. 

That's it for now. 

Monday

 More torrential rains today made for a pretty slow store.  One of my bosses redid the schedule.  That was very interesting for me, and I am pretty sure I was the most affected.  

Of note: they had me working Friday nights and then coming in early Saturday. That is gone, I still work Friday nights but I have Saturdays off.  And Sundays; unheard of in retail. Even store managers don't get that. I won't advertise the fact. 

Then they changed my 9-4 to a 10-3.  That means no lunch; I get a break but no sitting around listening to vapid game shows. That also means I can skip the paid ride to work those mornings and take a bus instead. It's light out at 7, not a problem. And I can take a bus home. 

When I do the math I actually come out $20 ahead even though I am working fewer hours. Interesting. And more opportunities for evangelism. 

One of my coworkers is difficult at best and she has just been snapping and biting at me the last couple days, treating me and talking to me like I'm some kind of stupid. I was happy to get away from her and happy to conclude I will avoid her 3 days a week now. 

And my immediate budget saw a $40 boost as well. 

Work itself was OK except for the one co worker being nasty. And there's always one I think. I found an extra $20 in my pocket so I paid for a ride home. It may rain tomorrow we will see but my PLAN is to take a bus both ways. 

The cats are good. I figured out the not-wanting-to-finish-the-food was really sick of their old food bowl so I put another one down and they are happy with it. 

That's it for now. 

Starting to crash

 And it is pouring outside.  Hope it stops before I leave.  Also praying for empty bus stop.  I don't know what it is with the homeless men and their pit bulls on the bus here.

I had a package of wet wipes in my vest pocket and they leaked.  Hopefully I don't have to wash my vest.  

It is really pouring I hope it stops.

Tuesday morning

 I wasn't too worried when I saw all the cars parking in the street but I did become concerned when I saw someone lugging a karaoke machine up my driveway to #6.  And, sure enough, they had a party.  

Normally he goes to work around 6 AM so I assumed  it would be over early but they went until well after 2.  Any excuse for a party.  

They were pretty quiet except for the music and karaoke which isn't saying much. I dropped off around 2:30 (they spent a fair amount of time walking around picking up beer bottles after the party which also makes a lot of noise), woke up at 3.  I am amazed I am functional at all.  I will, of course, be buying some Mountain Dew to fuel me for the day.  

I would love to know what HE is using,though.  

That's it for now. 

The hits keep coming

 It was pouring rain all day until about 2, I got off at 4 so I got home OK.  

While I was working I heard an employee screaming for help.  Two customers got into it and one was assaulting another.  As it turns out the offender also had a gun so we are "lucky" he didn't use it.  

Then I got off work and headed out to my bus stop only to find a homeless man beating one of two unleashed aggressive pit bulls. Needless to say I walked to another stop. 

The bus driver didn't believe me until he rolled up on them, then he changed his tune. 

My drivers home were speed demons so I got home early. I handed out 6 New Testaments on the way home as well.  

That was pretty much my day so far. 

The rain keeps coming

 I am wondering if I will have to pay for a ride home.

Well the internet ate my other post

 I left the house with my cart "set up" about 15 or so Bibles, the cart, the sign, me in the "Ask for Free Bibles" hat.  

I handed out several Bibles today as a result, some of which I detailed in the other post. The drivers all took them, too. 

The day was pretty uneventful, I felt I should ride down and cross rather than just cross at the subdivision, because I did that I was able to "catch" a driver I had been dancing with for months and finally get something in his hands (other post).  I was pleased about that.  

I didn't ride up to the end and come back, I am pretty confident about crossing the street up by the grocery store now so I did that.  A couple people double taked at my sign but I was obviously shopping putting stuff in the top box. 

I bought my salad greens, cheese, drink mix, and candy.  I left and just missed a bus. 

I sat down and at the 50 cent bag of chips I had bought at the store and drank some diet soda I had also bought. I saw a man across the street, he was a white man, deeply tanned in the manner of a homeless person (not even like a tanning bed), wild hair, flushed red complexion. 

He saw the sign and came over.  "Great" I thought "He wants a Bible".  Sometimes people pose theological questions and the answer is pretty much always the same "Because we moved away from God" and he asked me why things were so bad in the world.  "Because we moved away from God, we are in the End Times and time is very short before the Rapture.  Would you like a Bible?"  He waved me off and started on a racist tirade. 

He was not sane. And I'm stuck at the bus stop with him going off on all races.  Thinking I was married to a Black man for 29 years and wondering what he would say to that. 

I saw the bus coming and told him. I also told him he had better tone it down, because "They are on that bus"  He got on right after me but kept the ranting and raving down at least to my stop. 

I got off and a woman was running for the bus, I turned and asked the driver to hold it, he nodded and I told her it was OK he would wait.  She sighed with relief and I turned to look behind me, convinced the maniac had gotten off to follow me home. He had not. 

I went home. 

But it's always the mentally ill white man that is a problem for me.  One time a mentally ill white woman. But the other races never cause me a speck of trouble, ever. They are more likely to bring me a cold drink on a Bible Handout.  

Now I'm done for a while.