Wednesday night and Thursday morning

I finally got my shower.  I got some cheap razors some time back and used one on my legs.  I find the leg hair doesn't grow as fast if I don't shave often, and I don't need to because I wear long pants for work.  And no one is interested in my legs if you get my drift.   

But I do need to be acceptable if I run around in my baggy knit shorts on my time off.  I am still steady at about 210 which is great considering I am eating a fair amount of carbs.  So the shorts are pretty baggy, I was wearing them a good 40 pounds heavier.  If I lose much more I will have to get another pair.  

I may have some problems at work.  I would love to talk about work issues but I can't take a chance of the wrong person finding out what I do and where I do it.  It's enough I work at Walmart.  

I slept OK, I did wake up one time but back to sleep.  I had an instant caffeine drink when I got up (60 mg) to help get me going.  Last night I got a good amount of sleep and that will not happen again for a few days.  So I need to have something to help.  I am having minimal amounts of caffeine, though.  

It does look like it wants to rain so we will see when it hits.  I will bring my rain jacket and dig out my umbrella from my bag when I put up the candy.  I do need to get more candy, too.  

Tonight I plan to get some tuna, and some link sausage which I can put in my lunch bag.  Sunday probably I will go to the budget grocery store near my house and see if I can score some candy.  It is impossible to find the big five pound sacks of individually wrapped candy, online.  They are about $30.  When I was going to Sam's I could get them for $7.  The budget grocery store did have them for about $11 which is still a bargain.  I have enough candy for a while but will need more.  I am not happy with the mix they were selling at work, the last batch was incredibly sticky and disgusting.  Aside from ruining the Scripture booklet, I don't need the recipient covered in goo when they go to nibble.  I can run by this grocery store on my way home.  Work does have the single-flavor 10 ounce bags of things like butterscotch, mints, root beer barrels, etc. for 98 cents which is a good deal too so I have been picking those up as I can.  And those have always been in good condition.  If you want to hand out candy on a small scale I'd suggest getting several different bags of that, mixing it up in a big sack, put a handful or two in your baggy with a Scripture booklet.  

I did remember this morning: eat something with my iron pill.  I can get pretty queasy later in the day if I don't.  I have some Nutrigrain bars that work pretty well for that.  I'm just not hungry in the morning, I never have been, instead of fighting it I go along now.  I just have the bar with my medication and then my big meals between 1 PM-7PM.  I am still figuring out a healthy eating pattern so I can continue to lose weight and then keep it off when I'm done.  

I am saving that delicious link sausage for my snacks at work Saturday and Sunday.  That will be a great snack and a lot better for me than the donut.  I will need to put it in the freezer, though, let me do that.  I don't want to have to remember how long it's been in the fridge.  Boy my freezer is stuffed, I can't get a thing in there.  

Well, I got the sausage but I had to put them on top of the ice trays, but I'll eat that up this weekend so not worried.  

The cats are good, I have them on 2 cups of food total a day.  I gave them a half cup when I got up.  Will give them a cup when I go to work and then a half cup when I get home.  I think that is reasonable.  I would worry about Cleo not getting enough food because she is submissive to the boys but Cleo is huge.  So someone, somewhere, is feeding her.  She is a very pretty cat with a sweet meow so I can see why they would.  I think I know the lady who does it, there was a language barrier but she said "I feed all cats...so many" which pretty much says it all.  I did not get her address otherwise I could have had a local shelter mail her some information on TNR in Spanish.  

TNR is basically catch a "community" cat, get it vetted and fixed, return it to the community, someone feeds it and keeps an eye on it.  That way you only have fixed cats in the community and no new babies or fertile cats.  Captured kittens are socialized and adopted out, you have a pretty good window to "save" a feral kitten and turn it into a housecat, like I did with Cleo.  It reduces fighting and marking in the males, everyone gets along much better, and they keep pests down and other cats out.  If you just haul them away and kill them like they did in old days you just get more cats moving in.  If things were different I would like to help out with a colony.  Maybe if I remarry and he can drive, I would help out someone with their "clowder".  You do have to take the food when you go because you will get possums and raccoons if you don't.  And the coons can hurt/kill cats.  Anyway my neighbor could stand a TNR program it would help her out a lot.  Although if the HOA finds out they will probably have all the animals picked up.  

I am not too worried about that as my 3 all have chips, and they do check for chips when they do an intake.  And all the information comes back to me.  The company would not let me change the owner name (was Ron) but it comes to my phone number now for all 3.  I checked.  Tonight I need to go into their database and tell them Baby Girl is dead.  Or I may wait on that just on the off chance she got in a moving van or something.  Stranger things have happened.  

Biscuit is up on the couch in his spot next to me, it's pretty cute.  He is nearby but not in my way.  He only really "bothers" me when he is hungry.  He will hook his claws in my arm and howl at me.  I have some scratch marks on my right arm as a result but they're not bad.  All my cats were starved before they met me so they are very insecure and get terrified when they're hungry.  I am OK with that.  

I read a very interesting article by a woman who adopted an infant.  He had been severely neglected while his parents did drugs in the next room, he was about a year when he was taken and given to her.  She did everything right for him but noticed, as he got older, he would freak out if he got hungry and have meltdowns.  She realized he was reliving his days of starvation and began bringing him a small snack for him to eat an hour or two before dinner.  She said that fixed everything.  

Even my Dad says I had food insecurity to say the least.  My mother would be so depressed she would lie in bed all day with me stuck in my crib the next room, sister at school, Dad at work, boy was I happy to see him when he got home (I remember that!).  So I have to watch that; I can get anxious planning my meals for work to make sure I have "enough" because I don't want to be hungry.  But not so much I gain weight.  So figuring that out.  I am leaning more into affordable proteins (mainly pork, tuna, etc) with a side of rice right now.  I do need to figure out some vegetables because I need those and am very bad about eating them. 

I will get that though.  That's it for now. 

Edit: did my God time and finally remembered I had to do my upper lip treatment.  I kept remembering away from the house.  So I did that and got a fair amount off the upper lip, glad I did that.  I need to designate a day to do all that.  I have a nice big tube of Magic Cream Shave so I should be good for a while.  I don't want to be gross.  

There was a client on the paratransit service, Ron called her "the woman with the mustache" and everyone knew who he meant.  She did have a pretty thick one a teenage boy would have loved.  She hated me for some reason and was always making cutting remarks about my weight.  Ron finally told her to "Shut up, she has a beautiful spirit and that's all I care about" which did shut her up.  She used to like to sit in the front seat and take her shoes off, I am certain she is not allowed to do either now.  I doubt she is doing well.  She was always paranoid about germs and once maced Ron with a can of Lysol.  He started coughing so badly the driver almost called 911 and she never did it again.  I don't miss her ONE bit.  

NOW I'm done.