Thursday morning

Every now and then I trip over the fact I'm just always going to wake up tired.  It is a hard adjustment but I have to come to terms.  It's my medication and the fact I battle depression.  

At any rate I did not wake up last night which is big, that hasn't happened in months.  Still woke up tired but a little better equipped.  I need to take my shower but getting on that.  

My work app (I check it every morning when I get up in case I need to log in again) is still thanking me for my year of service which is cute.  

Online we have had some discussion about the baby formula shortage.  I know it is really bad at work.  I get people stopping me asking when the baby formula truck is coming so they can get some.  I have to tell them it comes on the big truck with everything else and gets stocked at night, best odds to come in first thing and get it.  There are recipes for make your own formula, it is nowhere near ideal but it is better than a starving baby.  You can find them online.  I'm not going to share it because it might violate my TOS.  

I need to take my shower and do my God time, I also need to pack my lunch (not hard just sticking some lentils with chorizo in the lunch bag, and some pizza).  I made lentils last night with chorizo and it was pretty good.  This was the "high end" stuff that did not use pork salivary glands.  Ick.  That was just a little too specific for me.  The package said it had "medium" heat but I found it a bit more than that, I put some cheese on top to kind of mitigate it.  I will need to get another bag of shredded cheese pretty soon my current bag has served me well.  And that's something I'm willing to invest in, I can put that on rice, put it on a tortilla, put it on beans, get lots of protein.  I'd call it a staple.  I get the 5 pound bags.  

I will need to cook my ham tomorrow morning before work but I can do that.  Or I might even do it tonight before I go to bed.  There's not much, it is ham ends so already in nice pieces.  Once that is cooked can go in lentils (!) or with cheese for a breakfast, or just a good meal/snack out of the container.  The last thing I am going to do is waste food and it is getting near the sell by date.  

I am not one to say "you can bend the sell by date on meat".  Canned foods, yes, I have done that and still alive but not meats.  And bread.  I have eaten bread out of the sell by date and it was fine.  I keep my bread in the fridge BUT I am trying to eliminate wheat if at all possible so only a little bread in the fridge.  

Cats are good, Biscuit was sneezing a little in the bed but I used the cat hair preventer dryer sheets when I did laundry so maybe the fabric softener was affecting him?  He seems fine now, ate and drank.  Loafing on the couch next to me.  

I am happy how I did the bed, I stripped most of the covers.  I have a nice flat sheet on my side in the bed, then a cotton bedspread I got from IKEA (not heavy, a nice handwoven thing that is washable), and a cheaper top sheet on the top of it all for the cats to lie on/puke/shed.  If there is a problem I can just take up the top sheet and wash/dry it normally, then put it back.  Top sheets are not cheap, going upwards of $20 now, so I am going to use the heck out of what I do have.  It's a lot of gray in my bedroom which I am not crazy about but it's free.  And the sheet by my body is very soft.  Everything else is out in the garage I will deal with it when winter comes, and that's a ways off.  

I also need to sort through all my "fat clothes" and organize them by size.  My weight was up a little this morning but I am calling that the bread and pizza.  The cornmeal thing was pretty good this morning, I think it would really shine if I had an upset stomach.  It is thick and bland, exactly what I would need.  And I get an irritated stomach on the regular.  

I would probably go low carb, I am about at the point I could, mentally , but money and all the meal prep are deal killers for me.  It is pretty easy to just eat off a big pot of beans for a few days.  Not so easy to shop, cook, prep, and eat low carb foods.  I am working well over full time when you factor in the bus.  So we will see if I can just do it on reducing calories.  I also figure higher fiber foods like lentils will keep me full longer.  What I see the high fat stuff I used to eat like the sausage patties are not cheap!  And I used to eat a lot of it!  

I will figure it out.  I am not gaining at any rate.  

Since I am over my cycle and presumably good for a few weeks I am thinking to wear my white jeans on Saturday when I have a ride to work.  I will see how they fit and let you know how that goes.  When I was a teenager I lived in a pair of, I think they were parachute pants, baggy cotton pants with a tailored waist, I wore them until I got a hole in them.  I could pull it off because I was very slim but they had very baggy hips!  At any rate I loved THOSE white pants so maybe I will like these.  I already paid for them (Goodwill) so I might as well.  And I am seeing a lot of customers wearing white pants so I don't think the fashion police will get me.  I do have a decent amount of jeans in "this" size.  I haven't looked in my "smaller size" box but I know I have at least a half dozen smaller sized jeans in there as well.  I could get to the thrift store on the bus if I had to, it would be a very long ride but I could do it...then maybe get a cab home....not sure.  I will figure that out when I need new pants (not for a while).  

God always sends me good clothes when I need them.  That is the interesting thing about being lower income with no safety net (Ron's disability check) I see God's hand and provision a lot more these days.  

And I need to take my shower, I'll be back. All done.  

Just very un-motivated today.  Thinking about things that could go wrong with my transportation, my errands, my actual work day.  

That's it for now.