So I'm really happy with my extra 😂 $20 and figuring out how I want to spend it. But no rush. I HAVE to cook the lentils tonight that's not optional. I have decided to do the dishes, cook, do the dishes again and then leave it at that aside from laundry tonight. The floors can wait, I did spot clean the worst 2 spots.
I am debating what to do with this computer. I had a reconditioned computer, have had them most of my adult life except the time Ron and I built one from scratch (that was a popular line on my resume "built my own computer"). It started acting up a few months ago so I got Ron's computer (also reconditioned I think), he spent a fair amount on it. 4 megs of ram, 3.4 Gigahertz processor, I forget if that is good or not, nice big hard drive (not that I really need one).
Using this computer is free and I am sure Ron would want me to get some use out of it. It works OK but Ron wanted Windows 7. That runs into trouble sometimes like when I make a post I have to take some extra steps at times to get it to publish. I can't delete my email, I have to do that on my tablet (first world problems). Etc. And Facebook is balky as well. I get it, according to my computer the OS is over 13 years old. That's ancient. Ron needed it because he wanted to run a speech software program on a platform he understood. His dementia was kicking in by then and he was adamant he wanted Windows 7.
So I think, it is annoying enough I call the computer guy to do an upgrade? Do I want to spend that money especially since I have a job and don't need it for that? I can do email on the tablet, but it runs Amazon's Silk browser which is not compatible with my Google account, message board I frequent, or the blog so that's not workable. Tablet does work great for reading my Bible, reading other books, checking email. I am still on the fence but for now plan to let it be.
I feel bad for my mail carrier today. I shouldn't talk about it at all but on occasion I like to do nice things for the mail carrier. The other day I saw him (? sometimes a man, sometimes a woman ?) down the street at the other mailbox, went home and got a cold bottle of water, put it in the mailbox. When I went back to check 15 minutes later the water bottle was still there and cold so I guess he (?) had his own water of course. But if it were me out there schlepping the mail you can bet I would take more. But that's me. A sponsor (buys me Bibles and ships them to my house) signed me up for the Sword of the Lord newspaper plus I get various charity mailings that indicate my faith and who can forget the giant boxes of Scripture Booklets from World Missionary press. So I figure I had better have a good witness, ie. not having porno in he same box as the Sword of the Lord newspaper. Do nice things for someone bringing me mail. God knows it was a huge hassle to go get it every week last year. But it's very hot, sunny, and humid people are going to get sick out of this.
And tomorrow I get to go out in it. Should be fun. I will have a water but not a cold one as they sweat in my bag.
I did have a pretty good nap but I am convinced the HEB decaf tea was NOT because every time I drink it I can't sleep. Cleo and Biscuit joined me, apparently Spotty is not allowed in my bed. He will get up with me if they aren't around, though. And he remains very faithful and attentive when I'm on the bed in Ron's room. He's a good boy.
Cleo actually spooned me she continues to make really good progress. That is one reason I would not want to get involved again, what if he had kids and they were awful to my cats? And any guy my age is going to have "baggage": an ex and a couple of teenagers, maybe a grandkid I would get saddled with watching. Not interested.
And I'm not a treat either. I've got the mood disorder, terrible housekeeper, indifferent cook, non driving, brain damage, ride the bus, rabid evangelist, etc. That's a lot. So for now I will just assume I will die widowed which is OK. I don't want to be one of those "My life is NOTHING without a MAN in it!" people. I really enjoyed being married even the hard times. At the end about all Ron could do was hold my hand and talk to me but I loved that. But I will see Ron again, and he's in a perfect body. He would not come back if he had a choice. God has my back. I would rather live with more comfort and security and not white knuckle my budget every pay period but this is how He wants me to live for now.
I do worry about that next electric bill. I have the thermostat up at 85 which is about the best I can do comfortably. But the AC does run I hear it. Not much I can do about it. Last summer I think my largest bill was about $130. I could go up to $170 in a pinch if I had to. We will see what I do. I think it's going to be one of those dry, hot, summers. Even my yard is looking a little wilted, I may have to water it. But I have bermuda grass which is pretty indestructible.
I want to get my cooking done with but not in the late afternoon with the sun beating on my house, and not after just having written a paragraph worrying about my electric bill. I will be fine, God has my back, but I'm not turning down that thermostat.
Happily I went through the hot flash phase about 13-8 years ago. I haven't had any since which is great. I am going natural with my menopause which has worked OK. One thing I do advise is a good calcium/magnesium supplement with Vitamin D. I remember one winter I was sick with a sinus infection and had a fever, which was flipping hot flashes left and right. I was really miserable and Ron turned up the heat. I literally begged him not to do it and explained how miserable I felt. Ever since that he would get my approval every time he wanted to turn up the heat, very concerned for my comfort and that he wasn't going to "roast" me. He could be really sweet when he put his mind to it. And he did that pretty much the whole time he could adjust the thermostat.
We were tremendously compatible in many ways even including the thermostat. I can't imagine fighting over it; so many women in the menopause group, when I was active, had battles with their loved ones over the temperature, and pretty much every woman my age wants the thermostat around 60 degrees. I wonder how that went with my Dad and stepmom. She NEVER talks about her transition which is fine, I talked to her a little about mine some time back when I called and Dad was running errands. My own mother went through it naturally all I really have from my sister was that she would not have a cycle for months, it would come back, and disappear again, and she "finally" finished about a year before she died. Which probably leads to my stack of pads that I wear when I'm "about" due up until the actual cycle starts, last month I went 6 weeks between cycles. Not a big deal once they start, especially if I take some advil (not for pain it slows bleeding).
Enough about that. I am going to go rot my brain on TV for a while and then do up some candy so it's already to go when I leave the house tomorrow.
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