I am using Ron's old computer as mine died. It is fine except it runs Windows 7. So I have problems with my email app. I have found it works better to pull up my email on my tablet (and no I don't see myself as "poor" with a house and multiple electronics) and deal with it that way. I keep the tablet in Ron's room.
I do my Bible study every day in there and finally got over both him and Torbie dying in the room...it's a nice room, very teal/turquoise and nice blackout curtains for privacy. So I walked in and Biscuit is on top of the cat condo I placed in there (Torbie actually died in it). I was talking to Biscuit and Spotty started meowing as he came out from under the bed. So cute. So that is apparently the boy's room, so, so, cute. And Spotty's fur is really highlighted by the blue.
I had a good nap with Cleo she is, as always, precious. I like seeing her content and happy with me. She's a good cat and deserves a loving, spoiled, life. Hopefully I give her that.
I texted a little with my aunt she is doing well. We sent garden photos back and forth to each other.
I am not crazy about upgrading my computer right now. Theoretically I could afford it; but I would rather save it. I could probably just upgrade this one to Windows 10 or 11. I would probably call the computer guy for that I have his number. That should fix my issues the computer is only a few years old. The tablet works fine. I have had that some years now and it still runs great. Dad got that for me it is a Fire 10.
It is interesting to me. Dad was not big on gift giving or lavish gestures by my experience for my whole life. But starting a few years ago it has been one gift after another, new plumbing (much appreciated), the tablet, other gifts, cash, etc. Some of that goes to Ron's death but some of it came from before that. It's just how God has worked on him. Now it's Dad's money I hope he spends it all and has a great time doing so. They go out to nice dinners pretty often, he likes prime rib and lamb chops, and can do that. Good. They also do a lot of charity work volunteering and helping in other ways. Dad worked very hard his whole life so I am happy he is benefiting while he can still enjoy it.
If I had to guess I would say Dad's love language might be gifts, at least now. Ron was acts of service. I am Quality Time.
One thing I worried about was saving and saving for retirement and then not being in good shape when I got there, have to spend it all on copays or whatever, basically what happened to Ron. He retired pretty much at age 65 let me run the business. But he was bed bound and half gone with dementia by then. Not exactly a happy time.
And I was terrible about taking time off with him, vacations and all, even after the accident. We used to go to Galveston but about 15 years ago there was a dentist caught flesh eating bacteria in the water off Galveston and then died of it. That kind of killed that for us, but we still liked it for dry trips (not getting in the water). Enough that I put some of his ashes there in a legally acceptable place (Galveston State Park). If I ever remarry I will have to focus on taking time with my husband and not just go to work and home, chores, cooking, bed.
However, as a believer I know I will have eternity with Ron even though we aren't married in Heaven. He will still be a loved companion though, but relationship with Jesus will supercede that. Unfortunately I have been bad about putting Ron before God on many occasions, it's called idolatry and not a good thing. A pretty major sin; they're all bad but not a good idea to take God off the throne. I have done that to my harm, and Ron's.
One reason I am not in a hurry to find another man I do have this proclivity and I need to get that managed before I bring someone else into my life. And I would be OK being single the rest of my days, one very big reason I did not rush to start dating even though there was a nice guy at work.
I didn't know his last name, if he was in a relationship, or even if he was saved all very big questions, but he was kind to me and I found that attractive. A lot of people haven't wanted to hear me go on about my loss. I get that. He was nice about listening in addition to doing other good things for me. I find that very appealing. I haven't really thought about him since then but that was the first indicator I was going to get through, that I would think about someone.
But for now I don't want any complications. And relationships, even the best, are complicated.
It is hot and sunny out now. I probably could have gone out today but I just didn't have the energy. Also I have plenty of cooked food I don't need more. I need to eat up what I have before it starts falling out of the freezer at me. I didn't want to get takeout for the same reason, I might get something Sunday afternoon on my way home from work (bus stop right next to the takeout place). I will have to see.
I do have 3 days in a row coming up next week. Right now I have $70 personal money I can spend and I am trying to save it for those days. I may spend a little at work on donuts or whatever (they have a 2 pack donut for $1.50) but keep the majority for fun.
Monday morning I have my phone appointment with Doc so that will be easy. He calls me, we talk, he sends my prescriptions. I can go pick them up either another day off (a long ride on the bus) or wait until Thursday when I work. No one has stolen my medication out of my bag at work so I feel OK about that. Worst case someone looks, finds the lithium, looks that up and then it's all "Heather is bipolar" all over the store. And that is very unlikely, not to mention I have a solid year of dependable service under my belt so that mitigates gossip.
Anyway that is Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday I don't know what I'll do. But I will have the better part of the $70. While I get paid on Wednesday that is all taken up for other expenses. So I will stretch what I do have in my metaphorical pocket.
That's it for now. I find I like to yak a lot on my days off which I guess balances those days when I just do a terse paragraph.
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