I slept better last night

I think the cats are giving me a break and staying off the cot at night.  I appreciate it, I love them but I do need my sleep. 

I am not really present online.  I have Facebook.  On Facebook I am in a couple of cat groups.  I am in a kratom group, although we have to call it "tea".  That is it. 

I am on a survivalist message board. 

And I have the blog.  That is about my online presence these days. 

Years ago after my diagnosis I thought I would join the online bipolar community.  But I found myself wanting to slap most of them.  Drinking, creating drama, using illegal drugs, abusing the drugs they had, not taking their mood stabilizers, and the WHINING OMG. 

But what really did it for me was the chat room.  Someone asked if I had kids, and I said "I don't think we (bipolar) should have kids".  The whole thing blew up flames everywhere a moderator had to step in "I think Heather means she thinks SHE shouldn't have kids, right?!" 

No, I meant what I said.  And in "The Bipolar Survival Guide" the doctor discusses that it is very difficult for a bipolar parent with a newborn.  Sleep deprivation jacks with our moods.  My only experience with a bipolar parent - she was incapacitated, to say the least, with a horrible depression after my birth.  She couldn't even take baby pictures for months and I was the youngest.  She wasn't stable and I, as a child, craved stability more than anything. 

That was the nice thing about my stepmother, I knew exactly who I would find when I walked in the door after school.  She would be in the same mood, fixing dinner.  The house would be clean and organized.  She is a lot of things but she was stable. 

And I valued that.  I need to tell her this. 

Anyway that's why I avoid the bipolar community.  They piss me off. 

But I really appreciated the good sleep and I woke up around 7, on my day off. 

I have had a poster for years, I bought it when manic, planned to put it on a door because it is 12x36.  It has a tropical theme.  I finally got it hung in the laundry room today.  It matches the paint, nicely. 

I fed Ron.  He is good. 

My foot is bothering me some.  When my shoes give out my plantars hurt.  :p  Then it takes a couple days to bounce back.  My work boots wore out faster than usual because I wore them all the time.  But I bought 2 nice pair of sneakers (total cost $30 thank you Walmart) yesterday.  They have memory foam so should be comfortable. 

I want to minimize walking for a while until I get that under control because I do not want a repeat of last year.  I had a very bad flare and it felt like walking on knives, I was nearly in tears every time I stood up, and it took weeks to recover.  I do not want that again. 

I have some errands I would like to run but I believe they can wait a few days.  I got the essential supplies I will need for the short term, at any rate. 

I even ran the washer on the clean cycle.  I just need to clean the water fountain for the cats.  And finish the monthly report; I did some of the accounting work already.