I think it is time for a reminder.
Before I married Ron I told him he had better be sure he could handle me the way I was because I didn't believe I would ever improve. He made a sweet declaration and married me anyway.
When my meds aren't right I get extremely irritable. Ron got fed up and we were fighting a lot.
He picked up his phone and called adult protective services, said he wanted to move out he was sick of me. We didn't know I was bipolar.
A very sweet lady called him back, name Penny. She got a feel for the situation and asked Ron what he wanted. "Just get me away from this woman!" he shouted "All I need is a bed and a toilet!"
"We can do that" she replied. She set things in motion and Ron was wait listed at a facility. He was more independent back then so I believe it was an apartment where someone comes in now and then to do laundry and shopping.
Then I was diagnosed and began medication. This is all still processing for Ron, though. I got my diagnosis and medication and began taking it faithfully.
I improved, dramatically. I remember Ron crying, "You're back" and hugging me so tightly I couldn't breathe. He then went straightaway to his cell phone and called Penny, telling her I was "fixed" LOL and he didn't need to move.
Ron is still able to pick up a phone and make a call. And I am sure he would, if he wasn't happy.
29 comments:
Are you forgetting that ron refused to marry you and only did so after the accident so he wouldn't go on a nursing home? Are you also forgetting all the mental abuse he put you through then before you got married. Nice story but it is 1. Not believable and 2. Not true. He would have thrown you out back then like the time he locked you out of the apartment in the middle of the night.
Fake story. Medications and diagnoses do not work that fast. Why are you telling more lies?
Why won't you answer the question about why you are not making Ron pay to have the carpet replaced in his bedroom and have the walls which he soiled repainted?
I’m not fooled by this story
What a lovely, and completely irrelevant, anecdote. Ron used to be able to do lots of things he can't do anymore.
Now he is being kept isolated and without appropriate services while he continues to deteriorate because you have a never-ending list of excuses and irrational justifications.
It is like the chicken and the egg , Ron keeps you as mentally unhealthy as you possibly can be with the life you have to live with him. At the same time you appear to be fully aware and just block out what hurts the most.
Heather you are a human being worth love and to be valued in this world. I went by a kitty cafe the other day and thought of you . It is run on the Japanese model you do not get to just pet the kitties they have to come to you and play with you.
I am worried about your kitties being outside and wonder if you are sure this is a good idea for them and the neighbors?
I know you are not wanting to do Ron’s room but it is a health hazard and people are going to have more of a concern with why if you a re doing the entire house you left him in filth . No matter what you do the smell is probably worse than you smell it. And it is a horrible situation. He needs to be in better circumstances that is for sure.
Why would he leave when you put up with and excuse his behavior. I'm sorry but peeing on the floor at will is NOT okay.
Lithium worked very quickly for me... the antidepressant took about 6 weeks but my mood changed nearly instantly, I am a good responder to it and one reason Doc is never taking me off.
Ron cannot afford to replace the carpet right now.
It's a true story, believe it or not if you want. I don't know why I would tell a story that makes me look bad.
Because you made up a story to try (and failed) to convince your readers that Ron would call for help if he wanted it.
I believe one reason Ron did not throw me out before my diagnosis was one, he loves me as much as he can and 2. I am the only employee.
There is a good reason the other vendor tries to work with only family members. Anyone who is not family sees "all that money" and tries to rip you off. Employees don't understand the overhead, the fact they are likely getting at least 25% of that, the taxes due on it, etc... they see "a big wad" and help themselves.
I do not. We had a repairman stealing hundreds a month from us and we were so angry when we fount out, Ron knows he would be, pardon the pun, robbed blind if he fired me and hired someone else.
He can afford vodka he can afford to replace the carpet he ruined. What you and ron have is not love. It is a parasitic relationship based on fear control and neediness
More like he loved that you were easy to manipulate. He cheated on you. Treated you like dirt and his behavior and drinking got worse when you got medicated - those are your words
I don't mean to sound harsh or demeaning, but we can see how much you are slipping in your mental health. You say your doctor thinks you're doing fine, but he doesn't read here and see your day to day ramblings. Basically, all he does is monitor your levels for your medication every few months. It's easy to convince him you're doing well during a short visit, and even more so because you have convinced yourself that you're doing just fine. You seem to be losing touch with reality, you are not doing well!
One of the biggest indications is what's happening with the cats. You used to be so loving and protective of them. You were so careful to keep them inside and safe, always making sure doors were closed so they couldn't get out. You build them a catio so they could enjoy the outdoors but were out of danger. It's so sad to see that you are letting them go out, and not knowing where they are even at night. Now you're locking the cat door so pa can't come in, but that's also locking them out if they happen to be outside at night. You're barely functioning yourself, which means you're not able to care for Ron or your sweet kitties.
I leave the cat door open at night so the cats aren't stuck. Biscuit sleeps right next to the door so Pa doesn't get in.
I think I am doing pretty well considering my entire life is in uproar. I just submitted a public comment, at the insurance company's request, to their BBB. I am working and organizing major repairs on my home, sticking to budget, signing contracts, etc. My aunt is observant and hasn't said anything, and she would.
He decided on his own he would buy me a carpet cleaner. And I will get a couple more rubber sheets and regular sheets that I can layer on his bed.
"I leave the cat door open at night so the cats aren't stuck. Biscuit sleeps right next to the door so Pa doesn't get in. "
BUT PA did get in and they had a big fight. Biscuit always now has to be on guard for this cat so no you are not creating a safe environment for the cats. Something really is wrong with you and with ron.
Might as well get rubber sheets for the floor since that is where he pisses. And you need a vac also not just the carpet cleaner. Is he buying both or just the one? If he didn't urinate on the floor there would be no issues.
You need to be seeing a psychologist or therapist in addition to the psychiatrist who is only there to prescribe your meds. I agree with the other commenter that you are not right. I don’t think you are “doing well considering”
Too bad they don't make house calls while someone else tends to Ron. LOL
I don't think Ron can help it. He is shy about being watched but even promising to do better hasn't helped. I am thinking to put some sort of chux on the ground and bed and just wash those daily. He doesn't leak, only goes when he wants to, so that is not the issue.
Biscuit has always slept with me since pretty much when I adopted him. He gets in the shower with me, too, when the water is off.
So you are saying he intentionally urinated on the floor and you allow this behavior with no consequences?
What am I going to do? Spank him?
It is unclear to me if it is intentional. I would say at best he is having a lot of difficulty lining up.
"It is unclear to me if it is intentional. I would say at best he is having a lot of difficulty lining up. "
More lying. Just last week you said he purposely urinated on the floor because he thought he was getting new flooring. I am quite sure that was not the first time and won't be the last time.
What you should do is tell him every time he pisses on the floor you will dump his vodka down the drain. No ifs, ands or buts about it. That will be his lesson.
What you should do is get him a proper medical evaluation so you know if there are medical issues causing these behaviors.
I believe it is unclear if it is intentional. Medical issues should be ruled out. Punishing someone for things they can't control is terrible. No one knows what is going on with Ron. He needs to be seen by a doctor and referred for appropriate services. Heather needs to stop refusing to get him help.
A lot of Ron's issues also go to drinking. Dry him out and he is a whole new man, delightful, very capable of caring for himself, or he was back in 2016.
I generally don't mind helping Ron as long as he is civil and ideally does not wake me up. I don't believe in "punishing" him, if I am at that point we need to split.
If you can’t take Ron with you to a therapist appt and sit hjm in the waiting room because of one of the various excuses then he shouldn’t work either.
Who is going to pay for a therapist?
The last time we went the guy was a lush, it was $100 a visit, all he did is trade stories of how drunk they got since the last visit... it was horrible. The guy, a PHD, couldn't see I was bipolar.
Not interested in an agency where I am required to give socials, etc... still holding on that.
Plus we have to pay for the ride to and from. Uber is great but it *takes money out of your account*. I am going to be walking to 2 places today because I don't have the money for that.
If I go in the back room and ask Ron if he wants counseling he will laugh at me. He has been in bed singing along with the radio most of the morning.
Find one on the bus line. Go once a month. You are full of excuses Ms Victim.
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