Not Happy

My love language is quality time, so I am happy just being around someone I care about, even if it's just waiting on a bus. 

I feel like that was used against me, today. 

Ron wanted to "go to the kitchen".  He said he wanted some "juice" which of course turned into a large bottle of vodka.  He was actually angry when I gave him the juice. 

Then he sat in the chair drinking the vodka, with some water in a cup on the side, trying to talk to me.  I did, a little.  I shouldn't have and I won't again. 

It gives tacit approval, I realized later.  He kept drinking more and more vodka and I finally said I have to get up very early and you are NOT having a blackout.  He said the alcohol "wasn't as strong" if he took it with water.  I said 10 ounces is 10 ounces regardless of how much water you add to it, an individual drink may be "weaker" but the total amount consumed is considerable. 

He got angry.  I got angry.  He kept saying he was bored he broke his cable again, and has money for vodka but refuses to ante up $100 for a TV so I can fix his cable (he does not have a TV in his room).  So, priorities.  Now he's "bored" and figured he would drink himself into a blackout. 

I told him, he could take a Benadryl if he wanted to sleep but I was not going to put up with a blackout.  I had to get up early tomorrow and I need my sleep. 

This is one big reason I am reluctant to seek other employment.  He would, out of boredom, drink himself stupid every day, have blackouts, toilet dramas, falls, and injuries.  And he is too feeble to put in a day program. 

So, I told him I was done with him drinking and I walked off.  "Oh, I'm done" he says "Take me back to my room" (there are construction supplies on the way so better if I push him).  I go back "Oh, one more drink". 

I told him I was SICK of him playing games, I wasn't going to stand around waiting on him while he drank.  And that's what he wanted, me standing around, talking to him, tacit approval while he drank himself into a blackout because "It's not as strong if I have some water with it".  He had at least the equivalent of 7-8 shots while I watched. 

He blew up, cursed me out, nearly dropped the bottle, and finally consented to going back to bed.  But I figured it out, a lot later than I would have liked, that's what he wanted, me "taking him out to drink" and then helping him do it.  Because if I am OK with it he isn't an alcoholic, and doesn't have a problem. 

Then he tried to play games "I have your pay" but I already got it.  He can pay back savings whenever he wants but I am not going to play his little "Please Mr I need my paycheck" game with him - I had a boss do that and Ron was FURIOUS about it.  He is counting the money now, he asked to, but I wouldn't play his game. 

My pay is DAYS late and he was JUST FINE with that, which says a lot about who he is.  But he had money to get a vodka delivery the other day. 

He was so angry when I told him to hurry up.  And I am done taking him to the kitchen.  He doesn't need to be in the kitchen if I am feeding him all the time and bringing him drinks.  So I'm not taking him to the kitchen, he has this thing where he wants to sit up in the kitchen, I guess because, in his head, only a drunk drinks in the bedroom.  Drinking in the kitchen makes it classier.  That would be my guess.  The bedroom also reeks of urine, not surprisingly. 

All the adult males in Ron's life were alcoholics, growing up.  He said he despised them, when we were dating, and he would never allow himself to become that.  I stupidly believed him.  So I think the whole "drinking in the kitchen" game is just that, a game. 

I'm not taking him to the kitchen, I'm not standing around while he drinks.  If he is drinking I am going to walk away and if that means we miss a ride we miss it.  It will only happen once.  I am going to confront him on that, when he is sober, because I am sure there is a "rule" in there about "don't drink in the bedroom, but the kitchen is OK" and he needs to ERASE that.  He is urinating, willfully, on the floor.  He can certainly make a decision to drink in the bedroom instead of the kitchen.  He is well above and beyond rules of "proper". 

He is far less likely to fall if he is already in bed, as well. 

And I felt funny using the toilet chair, in his bedroom, when the guys were working (lithium is a diuretic).