Had a pretty uneventful day yesterday, only notable because I could not get a nap in there. No issues with Ron.
I had a lot of trouble sleeping, though, I finally got up around midnight and looked at curtains, curtain rods, etc. on Amazon.
Question: if the bedroom is cream with dark wood floors, magenta dresser (stained it myself :) ), what looks better? Satin nickel hardware or black? I am leaning toward black drape hardware with satin nickel switchplate covers. The bedroom curtains will be black; I am doing red in the orange room because I love fall colors and I think it will look good. My red metal bookcase looks good with the orange swatches I put on the wall.
I did that until I felt tired and went to bed, of course once I dropped off I slept like the dead, kind of frustrating. I could have used that sleep about 8 PM and not 2 AM. I got up, hit the snooze alarm a few times.
Ron: "Boy, that alarm is loud". Yeah, sorry about that.
I got up and did everything on my list, cleaned the litter boxes, shower, put the toilet chair in Ron's room, Ron wanted to eat and use the toilet in the bathroom, so we did that, then I had to flush it. Took out some trash, lit a little incense, good to go.
Carlos showed up early which is great. I was ready for him.
He wanted half up front which is completely fair, I gave him the check without playing games. He said the damp weather may affect drying times and I explained I have been waiting months already, another day or two is not an issue. And I meant it.
It's not like I have flooring scheduled yet. I can put off flooring until the drywall and paint are 100% done. He liked how I had paint swatches in each room so he knows what goes where. That would be funny to have a lavender bonus room and an orange bathroom!
But, based on someone who used to be friends with the first homeowner (tenure: 10 years) the bathroom had been orange before. That's not something I want, of course.
But it would wake me up in the morning.
I even thought about doing a butter yellow in the laundry room, I am still considering it. But I will have enough paint leftovers right about now. It's like one of the painters told me at work, everyone wanted to paint their office a different color and they ended up with many half empty buckets of paint, then management handed down a decree they would all be the same color.
I love turquoise (I don't really have a favorite color) and actually considered an accent wall in purple (vivid) or turquoise, but they painted one long wall on the north side of the building (literally a quarter mile long) at work in turquoise and I HATE it! It is awful! Too strong! So I think I am going to stick with cream for out here. I have some turquoise curtains on my wall of windows, they are lace and very cute, I have had them forever and really like them. My aunt likes them, too. They are longer than 84 inches so I have them tied off. Baby Girl kept trying to pull the ends in the litter box to cover.
But I think I will stick with that as my accent color. I can always do something "more" later on. Carlos isn't going anywhere.
20 comments:
When are you “looking into” that doctor appt for Ron? A little more important than switch plate covers.
If he doesn't want to go I can't force him.
Like the lawyer said, he is legally a child given his mental state and can’t make those decisions on his own.
Who will deliver your belongings from storage? Do you have to pay the storage fee from the $11,000 check?
My understanding I call 1 of 2 guys and they make the arrangements. I just paid $3,700 for "pack out" so I assume that covers the storage fee and movers.
I didn't get $11 for repairs, it was less than that to begin with and then a $2K deductible.
The drywall guys are blasting through the work... I just need to hear from and arrange flooring.
Why the hell would you pay someone $3700 to move 1 bedroom worth of stuff. Talk about highway robbery. It would have been cheaper to hire Two Men and a Truck and rent a storage unit for a month.
Insurance paid for it. If I had to guess I paid for them packing it all up in an hour.
Pack out typically includes packing everything, moving it to storage, inventory of items, treating items as needed (sorting, drying, mold treatment, etc) and moving it all back. They will also work with the insurance company to confirm what items could not be saved and need to be claimed as a loss in some cases. It is more complicated than simply hiring two guys and a truck. I would just confirm that the $3700 includes everything when calling to arrange delivery of your stuff.
Get help for your husband. Stop procrastinating. He is not capable of making decisions and he is deteriorating for reasons unknown. I have given you a lot of suggestions and advice including phone numbers, and you have not acknowledged any of it. Others are trying to help you as well, and you continue to ignore or say Ron doesn't want it. Ron doesn't know what can be offered, and neither do you. Denying him care is a very bad idea. Get him help. Enough already.
I was told I just had to make a phone call to get everything delivered back, when I am done. They did make an inventory which I found funny as I am intensely private and we can all agree a little bit of a packrat.
I have a lot of things going right now and will get to Ron when I have time, but please look at the photo of him and Spotty and see that is why I want to keep him at home.
Lawyer again.
Getting help doesn’t mean putting him in a home. You need to get him help. You talk sometimes about legal issues if he fell...
Do you know about negligence?
I’ll explain this easily.
If you don’t, as a disabled and elderly man’s caretaker, take care of them that could be bad.
Ron has rapidly gone down hill. I’ve read your blog since day one. He’s the worst he’s ever been. He can’t remember things. The stunt with the plumbers. His drinking.
He’s not legally an adult or rational human anymore.
Your duty is much higher than it used to be. Caring for him five years ago? That wasn’t on you. Now—he’s considered elderly and disabled and you are his spouse/caretaker.
He has OBVIOUS ongoing serious medical issues Heather.
Legally you need to know where you stand. He needs to be checked out.
I don’t care if he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t have a say. He’s not mentally right.
You could be in BIG trouble if something happened to him.
At this point it’s negligent.
He needs help and you-AS HIS CARETAKER are not helping him.
He doesn’t have to go in a home, but you need medical advice and help.
Seriously, it’s time... for him and for you.
I will ask at the doctor's when I take him in for the prostate (and mention memory issues).
To the lawyer Heather cannot force Ron to go to the doctor. No doubt he would pass any cognitive tests he was given and even the paramedics could not take him to the hosptial if he doesn't want to go. The law gives people like Ron rights and then in the same instance condemns the caregiver when something happens to said person. It is a backwards and messed up system.
That's pretty much exactly as I see it (10:08 comment). No one helped Ron when I called for help and he was delusional and combative. They just yelled at me about the vodka. It was worse than if I hadn't asked.
He does want to go for his prostate and I will encourage that, tell him it is good to get "a checkup" as well.
The lawyer is 1000% right here.
You’ve said before you would mention something to the doctor but you never did. You are operating on selfishness here and it needs to stop. God forbid someone call APS on you
Aps won't do anything. If a person is mentally compatent they will do nothing. And Ron is not mentally incompetent he is just a drunk and had the right not to bathe, brush his teeth, or see a doctor. Now if he requested to see a doctor and she said no and refused to let him that would be neglect. It sucks but that's the way it is.
I disagree, he is mentally incompetent (in addition to being a drunk). He can’t bathe himself, or basically do anything for himself. He falls all the time. She can’t leave him alone for any period of time now.
He is OK being left for a while if he is temperate. The problem we all have is the fact he is pretty constantly soaked. What are we left with if he dries out? No one knows.
It could all be alcohol. He could have an organic issue. No one knows, not even the doctor... because he is always soaked. An MRI will show degeneration but not much else, in my opinion.
No, an MRI and other tests WILL help show what is truly going on. But you’ll never know because you won’t take him for fear of losing the business.
Oh, I'll take him. The question is, will he go to the testing? Right now he can pretend nothing is wrong.
"I disagree, he is mentally incompetent (in addition to being a drunk). He can’t bathe himself, or basically do anything for himself. He falls all the time. She can’t leave him alone for any period of time now. "
None of that matters. He has a right to drink himself to death and not seek medical treatment. It is just a fact. Ask anyone on any caregiver forum to see what they go through with their elderly parents who have mental decline, hoard, fall, don't take their pills, etc and are not removed from their homes and are even released from the hospital via a cab back to their house even after a family member has told them what is happening with their elderly parent.
All Heather can do is ask but if he won't go he won't go and he doesn't have to and she has enough documentation to prove she has done everything she can to help him.
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