Where did I leave off? Let me go look.
Well, I took a shower but I couldn't get him to take a bath. We went to the bank.
A woman came up to the door behind us as Ron struggled to open it. I cannot open this door while I am pushing the wheelchair, either Ron has to get it or someone else. She was obese and short. She just stood there watching Ron battle the door until he got it open. He held it for me, I was getting ready to let it SLAM IN HER FACE and she grabbed it and pushed through.
I said " Thanks for helping, bitch" and stormed off, shoving the wheelchair angrily. I was ticked. That is one hot button of mine, people who just gape at the show without helping and then try to benefit from it.
NOT sorry I said it. It was not Christian but I am a human being, and she was able bodied enough to grab the door and hold it open for herself. It used to be you could count on certain cultures to help people with disabilities, but it's like they get here and have their heart removed, coldly turning their backs on even the smallest acts of kindness.
They are kindless. I am mad again just writing about it.
Pretty soon it will be her in the wheelchair trying to get the door open, especially if she keeps eating like that. She was not a young woman, either, older than me, not as old as Ron.
We bypassed the very long line and went to the business line. A woman trying to stand in both lines had to move to "let" us park. Then while waiting one guy questioned if we were a real business and a manager got a very pissy attitude asking me to move. Look, jerk, I'm not the one who remodeled the bank so you have to cut the line to get into the offices. He shoved through and took some guy to his safe deposit box.
Ugh. Not a good banking experience. Then we get to the window. Here is what we do. At home, we count all the money from the business and separate it out into 100 packs of $1 bills. We turn those over to the teller. The teller runs them on the counting machine and verifies the total. She did this, but very slowly, stopping frequently to gossip with her co workers.
This time she demanded we "swipe" the business card. They never do this because we trade the $1 bills for $20 bills. Occasionally we make a deposit but we always have the slip. She was very insistent we HAD to do it and even said "So we can track you" which really inflamed my paranoid side.
Just really invasive. It is not your business to know how much cash we generated. It is your job to trade $1 bills for $20. In fact, we have been told they count on us bringing it in.
Ugh. Getting mad again, not healthy.
So we finally finished up. Ron called the cab. Then we spoke to the manager about the fact that the door is broken and almost impossible for him to open. "And people are ASSHOLES" I said loudly "AND NO ONE WILL HELP" knowing that woman was still in line. He looked at it and said he would write up a work order and we left.
Ron got in the cab much easier this time, we went through a drive through and got drinks. I was super thirsty. I got a large diet coke and he got a regular.
We went home. He called the other driver about tomorrow and arranged it. Here's to hoping it works out. I will have to get up pretty early to work out but I'm OK with that.
I ate a snack and took a nap. I woke up with a headache. Ron was awake and in the kitchen drinking, but not much based on his behavior. I talked him into letting me shave him.
I was going to have him put on some pants and then do it in the front yard, but it started raining, so we decided to do it in the garage with him in his underwear, me no bra, with the door down. It was pretty warm but very easy to set up since I "finished" the garage.
I had everything set up in about 2 minutes. I brought Ron out and tried to shave him, but his beard was too long. So I got the scissors and trimmed him down to about an inch, then used the clippers. It is cute to see how Ron is always afraid I am going to screw it up. I trimmed him down to about half an inch, he was happy.
He has psoriasis so it can't be too short, or it gets "mad" and he has a really bad flare. Half an inch seems to be key.
He looked good when I finished. He felt it and approved, then I took him back in the house and put up the razor and scissors. I tried to get him to take a bath but he said no. I did try.
He went back to bed. I got on the computer. I am not working out today, off day. I plan to eat a lot of protein today for recovery. I am already up to 35 grams. I also plan to go to bed early after I call my parents.
It was odd going out in the garage and not working out. I felt like I should be doing kettlebells. I swept it up really good so I won't have dirt on the floor tomorrow.
I do kettlebells barefoot, that was one consistent thing I heard from all the books I read (about 4) on the subject.
I will check the mail in about an hour, see if we got anything fun. We paid all the bills so shouldn't find any. I have to clean the litter box but that's it for chores today.
We could lose power, with thunderstorms, so I won't run any laundry. I hear bad things happen to the new washers if you lose power in the middle of a cycle.
And everything I read on the internet is true! ;p
16 comments:
You could have asked the woman to please hold the door open for you instead of struggling and getting angry. Try it next time and see what happens.
Not to mention it is a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act not to have reasonable access for wheelchair accessibility like automatic doors.
Complain to the ADA here: https://www.ada.gov/filing_complaint.htm
and I guarantee you the door will be fixed pronto.
And no not everything online is "true" in fact there is a lot of outdated information. BUT it is still a good starting point and far better than taking the word of some nut case from one of your prayer groups.
She didn't speak English, like most of the customers at that branch. But some things should be universal - see someone struggling, offer to help. I always ask if people would like my help.
Not so hard to learn a few phrases in Spanish just for this:
por favor mantenga la puerta abierta
Means please hold open the door
Last I heard we lived in AMERICA. Move here, learn English damnit. Next time I am yanking the door out of their hands and slamming it in their face.
You are ridiculous. When Americans travel to other countries many of the people there speak American and their own native language. They don't act like a barbarous fool like you are doing and demand that everyone speak French or Italian or Spanish because you are in France, Italy or Spain. If they did most Americans would not be traveling abroad because they can't handle it and think America rules the world. Is it so difficult since you live in a state/city where there is a large immigrant population to learn a few words in Spanish? If you don't like hearing people speak Spanish perhaps you should move to a more mid-western state.
You go girl!
Is that how Jesus would handle it?
To the traveling comment, tourists to other countries CONTRIBUTE to the economy. Many spanish only speakers in America do just the opposite.
Jesus would expect HER to help two obviously struggling people. She did not. I am not sorry I cursed her out, she had it coming.
The "not helping with the door and shoving her way though" problem has happened MORE THAN ONCE and I am SICK of it. You can't get much more crippled than Ron and it is very apparent he has limitations. Why someone would turn that into a sideshow and gape at him battling, then SHOVE THROUGH like he's her freaking boyfriend holding the door, on purpose, for her...
Maybe these women are not sure of the proper door holding etiquiette, if a man is holding a door it MUST be for me and I will shove through, after I watched him battle for 2 minutes trying to get it open.
It's RUDE. It is reasonable to be angry. I don't like to see people turning Ron into a spectacle and like it even less when they take advantage of a kind gesture he is making toward me.
I believe I will start going through the door backwards so Ron won't have to struggle, and instruct him to have a firm grip on the door and HAUL IT CLOSED the second he is through. He has enough strength to do that even if someone is trying to come in behind us. They can open the door for themselves just like we opened the door for ourselves. HE'S the cripple, not them.
It is very seldom I meet someone more messed up than Ron. I would ALWAYS do what I could to help them.
"I believe I will start going through the door backwards so Ron won't have to struggle, and instruct him to have a firm grip on the door and HAUL IT CLOSED the second he is through."
Yeah that's a great solution until he closes the door on a child and they get injured. What the heck is your problem? You are worried about Ron looking like a spectacle? That is LOL because when he goes out drooling and slurring and drunk and abusive and cursing you out in public I can guarantee you that is more of a spectacle than when he is in a wheelchair and people stare at him. Plus he's blind he has no idea who is looking at him so I doubt he cares. Her certainly doesn't care if anyone is around when he berates you at work.
You really think I'm going to tell Ron to slam a door on a child?
Besides, the parent should be watching it anyway. I am not having a problem with CHILDREN trying to shove in behind us. They usually try to help. I am having a problem with middle aged and older ADULT hispanic women shoving in behind us.
He stopped shouting at me at work, about the time he had the left hand/arm "fail". I think he gets it now - I do a lot for him, and he'd be a real fool to castigate the only person who is helping him. And I will remind him of that - I will ask him who is helping him, how many people does he have? He gets very quiet and then says just me.
Ron can't glare at people staring at him, but if told it is happening he gets upset just like I do. He doesn't want it - and people shouldn't think it is OK because he is blind and can't stare back.
And I know all these women were raised better because they are an older generation (boomers).
Heather your comments are concerning. Yanking a door out of someone's hands and slamming it in their face, encouraging your husband to slam a door so someone can't get in behind you, and cursing out strangers at the bank are all not worth the risk.
Call the bank as you are approaching and ask for a bank employee to come out and hold the door. If you can't get through on the phone, go inside and ask for an employee to hold the door. As you are leaving, ask a bank employee to hold the door. Repeat until they fix their door. Report their ada violation every time you encounter the broken door.
It is the bank's fault that you are struggling with the door. Random people who just want to do their banking are not obligated to hold doors for you.
NO, they're not required to hold the door. But there are a total of 3 doors, they could simply use one of the other doors rather than stand and gape like a hayseed, then take the door from Ron. But no, they are women of a certain age and *want* to "have a man hold the door for me, like when I was young and pretty".
Men never do that crap. Men hold the door. Kids try, but are generally too weak. The security guard is usually texting on his phone and ignoring us.
I will give them a week or so to repair the door, the guy said he put in an order. If it is not fixed I will have Ron call the ADA number. While sitting in the bank so they can hear him. Until then I will continued to take him through backwards and slam the door myself. If you are "grown" enough to get up the stairs/ramp yourself you are "grown" enough to open your own door. And I am done with these people shoving in behind me, then running ahead so they can "beat" us in line (they don't know we are a business and get the short line anyway).
Also reminded, one time I DID ask for help, nicely. She said OK and walked past, stood there and watched us, when we got the door open she shoves her way through and said "Thank you". WTF? I wasn't asking if I could open the door FOR her, I was asking HER to open the door! Just goes to "don't move there if you don't speak the language".
So that would relieve Heather to allow the door to slam in someone elses face.
No one is obligated to hold doors for anyone with your logic.
It is one thing to be a tourist in a foreign country and not speak the language. That’s understandable (and besides, from other things Heather has posted, I know that she does take the trouble to learn a few polite phrases in more than one foreign language). It’s another to MOVE to another country, to live there, and not trouble yourself to learn the language of the nation, and expect the people of that nation to learn yours, and have notices, official documents, etc, posted in your native language. Would any of us move to, go to live in, a non-English-speaking nation and just expect everyone there to learn our language? Now THAT would be very “ugly American” of us, and it’s very “ugly non-American” when others do that same thing.
And that’s all besides the extremely entitled idea that anyone has a right (it’s a privilege) to just come here, even illegally, and live, anymore than we have the right to break the laws of other nations and live there (especially if we expect to do so on their taxpayers’ money).
Well said, Melanie. A good example is the woman who lives next door (the mother of 6). Has lived here at least 15 years (as long as I've been here) and doesn't speak a word of English.
What is she going to do if one of her children is snatched? She is attacked? Husband stabbed and bleeding to death in a parking lot while the kids scream in the car, trying to get a passerby to call 911? She can't get help. *Because she doesn't speak the language*. It would not be hard to learn, all the kids had ESL classes and speak English fluently, her husband is also pretty fluent. Non profit agencies around here offer free classes and they have internet, he just got on Nextdoor. But you have to see value in it, and want it.
What is the point of her learning English when everyone is bending over for her? None.
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