I'm finally crawling out of the migraine. Boy, that was pretty awful. The worst part was losing my phenergan for a bit.
Happily, I found the phenergan and my missing hairbrush. That's the one thing I hate about travel, moving everything around. Trying to remember if I brought it all back.
As soon as I could, I took my pills. I had been off them for 2 days due to nausea and vomiting. I expect it will take a day or two to get back to normal.
I need to take a shower, although the crystal deodorant I applied yesterday is still fighting; and I need to take out some trash. I still feel really lethargic and foggy; although some of that goes to my medication.
Ron woke up and talked to me; said he had had the blackout on Sunday because he was either 1. Drinking out of the half gallon whiskey bottle or 2. Had the small flask readily available under his bed. I was unclear. He said both, at various times. I just said drinking is your problem and you're the one who needs to figure it out. I told him, I worry that one day you will...
"Hurt you or the cats" he interrupted. "No," I replied "Not really. I worry you will hurt yourself, I'll have to call 911, you'll have a broken arm. They will see you are disabled and check your blood alcohol level, then you end up in the system with social workers making regular visits." He shuddered. "You're the only one who can prevent that, Ron."
After that, he started carrying on about a driver we know, who did an extremely unhealthy liquid diet, and lost "100 pounds". Ron wants me to do it. I told him, it is not a healthy diet.
"But so and so lost 100 pounds" yes, she is a young woman with no medical problems. It remains to be seen if she gains it back.
I also did some research, it is low-sodium. That's a killer right there. More than you ever wanted to know about lithium. I got really sick a few times because I didn't get enough salt. I could die.
Ron had tried, basically, to "motivate" me by saying "I will do this and that if you lose that kind of weight". I told him, the stuff costs $400 a month. That's about equal to my entire paycheck. Are you going to buy it? No?
Do you want to pay for my medical bills when I end up in the hospital because I ended up with low sodium? NO?
Well, you have 2 choices. You can have skinny, mean, Heather - not taking the proper dose of lithium, but enough energy and motivation to exercise, or you can have happy, fatter, Heather.
Not to mention, this "blackmail you into losing weight" stuff is getting really old. I didn't care when he was fat. I just asked him to take some antioxidants to lower his risk of heart attack and stroke. I certainly didn't try to manipulate him, and I HATE being manipulated.
If anything, it makes me more inclined to say [expletive] I'll stay fat. If I lose weight he'll think the manipulation worked, and try to do it again. That's how the thinking goes.
All that said, I did lose a couple of pounds last week. I weigh myself, pick up the cat, and weigh myself again. A lot of the flea remedy things, for cats, are weight dependent, 5 pounds seems to be the magic number. She isn't there yet, but I'm down about 3 pounds without "trying".
6 comments:
you use a crystal deodorant? lucky you! i have to use Certain Dri which is a brand on the verge of prescription.
i've always been "stinky" even when i was skinny!
God bless even tiny blessings!
Low carb worked for you and you were not skinny and mean!
A liquid diet is bad news. Horrid. I don't care how much weight the person lost, or what yahoo on the Internet "approves" it..it's just plain unhealthy and could land anyone in hospital, let alone someone on meds. Just NO. "Thin" does not always mean "Healthy", and I bet this person isn't.
Ron is being abusive when he tells you he will do XYZ if you lose weight. He also is not telling the truth. You HAVE lost weight in the past, and he didn't change. Ron is Ron because of who he is, not because of who YOU are or what you look like. He's trying to put his behavior onto you. He's the only one that can make himself change.
As for the consequences of his drinking, this is another teaching that is used in Al-Anon: HE bears his own consequences. He passes out, you call 911, and let them deal with him. Let him embarrass himself when he is drunk. He's the one choosing to drink, and you can't stop him, clearly, because he won't listen to reason.
Part of an alcoholic's recovery is when they have to face up to the consequences of their drinking. Most of them have someone else to make excuses for them. If people ask what's wrong with Ron when he's drinking, just tell them he's drunk. You have to call the paramedics? Say he's passed out, drunk. No excuses.
Icy, I rotate, depending on mood. I use the Arm & Hammer Naturals Herbal, Toms of Maine Honeysuckle Rose, and the crystal. I use the crystal when I have a migraine because it is unscented and I'm highly sensitive to fragrance when battling a migraine.
I have pretty major fatigue at this lithium dose, which I need. In 2008, I was taking half this dose, more symptoms, but way more energy too. I was able to workout about an hour a day in addition to everything else. I was spending a lot of money I didn't have, etc. I wasn't in a good "head" place; I need to take this dosage. I've had good results (twice) with low carb + working out about an hour a day, 5-6 times a week, sometimes more - which is currently impossible. I wonder about the efficacy of "just" low carb alone. I'll be doing well to fix dinner and wash the dishes tonight. I guess I feel like it's just better to stick to "moderate carb" than to to the whole induction, workout thing and fail. I also hate the headaches. Yes, a lot of that is making excuses.
Jillian, I'm realizing that in many ways, Ron does not know healthy ways of making requests. He only knows manipulation. If he hurts himself drinking, he knows he is off to the hospital by himself, to wake up alone in a strange hospital bed asking the doctor what he did. However, I'm starting to see a very healthy fear, in Ron, of what alcohol can do to him.
Heather, considering all his already existing health problems, doesn't he worry about his liver?
Funny you mention this: Ron and I were actually talking about cirrhosis today. He asked, I answered, honestly. He is considering getting a checkup and mentioning his drinking of his own accord, to the doctor.
Now that is an answer to prayer. A year ago he never would have considered this. I let him do all the talking, gave him my honest opinion, and told him I'd be happy to go to the doctor anytime he wanted.
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