Thursday is normally a good day for me

Got up at 2 AM.  Got ready, which included getting my poncho and Ron's umbrella put in the wheelchair. 

Still pretty lightheaded.  Shower was fun, I almost went down like a tree.  I like to see myself as a strong person, until I'm not. 

We went to work.  We had a long ride, we "always" pick up an "AR" (slow) woman and take her to work, before we go.  She must have got the job through some sort of program.  "No one" wants to start work at 5 (she does) so they had to hire someone "special".  Probably get a break on payroll taxes, too.  It makes for a very long ride.   

I remember, before this, we could be to work in 15 minutes.  Now it takes almost an hour, longer, if we pick up the other guy who works where we do.  He has nothing wrong with him physically but qualified for service, so he must have some serious brain issues.  He only works part time, but, again, we have to ride waaaay out of our way to get him on the way to work.  He makes a lot of inappropriate "funny" comments, the kind that attack you but supposedly in the name of humor.  Always telling us how to run the business, NEVER buys anything.  I am not a fan. 

Today it was just the woman.  She always makes a big production out of "wanting to sleep" - tell your house mates to LET you!  I would not let ANYONE mess with my sleep!  Even Ron knows better!

It was raining pretty hard.  I was amazed how many drivers I heard on the radio, whining about not wanting to go out in the rain.  No wonder paratransit is hiring so many drivers from out of the country.  The ones here don't want to work.  You know what the job is - working outdoors - when you sign up for it. 

And of course there was the client who apparently missed all the weather forecasts for a week and decided to leave the house with no protection, then expected the driver to wait at his destination for an hour until the place opened.  If he had been slow they would have done it, but someone of normal intelligence wanting that?  Entitled much? 

We finally got to work, started stocking.  Pretty standard day.  Ron called Dr Pepper - a couple various numbers, asking about the status of our delivery.  I did what I could, stocking. 

Ron called me back in the stockroom.  He was not happy.  It seems the computer ate our order, and we had nothing on the truck today.  So we got up early for NOTHING. 

Well, we had to stock.  But no order, that sucked.  I felt I had a pretty good attitude about it. 

We called a cab and went home.  The driver told us about a fare he had, a rich white couple in a very nice neighborhood.  They wanted to pay him to have sex with the wife while the husband watched.  The wife exposed her breasts to him and made a big performance.  He thought about it for a second and said no.  They still gave him a good tip for the trip.  Crazy. 

We got home.  It was dry and working on being sunny.  I went in and took a nap with Torbie. 

We had a pretty good time, but my allergies were pretty bad at one point.  I may have to start taking a Claratin every morning with my antidepressant.  I don't have many problems with the allergy pill so that will be OK. 

I woke up with a headache and took something.  Then we waited on our ride to get some dinner.  After the day we had I wanted something delicious. 

The driver was late and then asked if we were bringing the wheelchair!  I told him "Ron can't walk!".  We got to the restaurant.  Everything is OK, except they wedged us between a massively obese woman sitting at a table on one side, and a family - all of them drinking except the toddler.  Ron hates toddlers. 

Speaking of toddlers, #6 was letting his youngest kid run around in my driveway today.  I was not happy.  Paratransit almost got her, and it would have been his fault, because I told him back in 2011 I did NOT want his kids in my yard anymore.  But he's built up almost all the free space on his property so the kids have nowhere to play. 

For a while, they felt my yard was their playground, but when I found an unattended toddler in my backyard with the gate wide open one day, and another day the same toddler was pulling boards off my fence, I put a stop to it.  I also had the older kids talking shit about Ron in his own yard.   They were mean to the cats.  I was worried about liability WHEN one of them got hurt.  So I put a stop to it. 

Sure enough, a couple of weeks later the toddler is running around with his arm in a cast.  I made the right call. 

My yard is NOT the community playground.  We have a park, go there. 

They brought us our diet cokes.  The waiter came, are we ready to order?  I told him yes.  Ron ordered "The steak".  I told him, the 10 ounce.  I helped Ron remember the sides he liked, because I knew he didn't want broccoli and mashed potatoes.  The waiter left. 

And Ron blew up at me.  I had failed him.  Not only had I forgotten to tell the waiter Ron wanted sauteed onions, I had also neglected to ask for a to-go box! 

I thought it was no big deal.  "We'll tell him when he comes back".  Oh, no, it was much deeper than that.  I had hurt Ron by forgetting he wanted grilled onions.  "It's your steak" I told him "Why didn't you order it?"  That wasn't the point, it was my job, as his wife, to know everything he liked....and we were off. 

I kept my voice at a conversational level during the ensuing conversation. 

I told him it was his job to remember and order his food.  I also reminded him sometimes he gets the steak without the onions.  I reminded him I had gotten up at 2 AM and given him a good day at work.  He continued with the verbal abuse.  I was almost at the point of asking for a separate table (I had already ordered my food), and leaving Ron to his own devices. 

He told me it was my job, as his helper... I told him, I am not your slave.  Don't treat me like one. 

He called me names.  I told him it would be nice, if one day, he tried to make only positive or neutral comments about me.  He said it would be impossible, because I was such a [loser]. 

It continued like that - he kept trying to beat me down, verbally (I am sure the other tables found this interesting), and I kept asserting myself and saying "No, I'm not going to let you do that". 

Ron got even worse after I found the waiter and told him about the onions, screaming at me about the to-go box.  I got a pitying look.  I am getting a lot more of those, lately.  You'd have thought he'd be happy I had "fixed" it, but he just got worse. 

I finally told him I was on the edge of walking out the door, and the ball was in his court.  He stopped.  Then made a big production out of telling me how "hurt" he was that I had "slapped" him by neglecting to mention the onions.  I told him he slapped me down, verbally many times a day.  He said I deserved it. 

This is not the man I dated.  He is not.  I made my mobile blog post.  He couldn't see me of course but he could tell I had disengaged.  He kept trying to pull me back but I kept making noncommittal replies.  He finally let it drop and changed the subject -THEN I gave him my attention. 

I believe Ron is a narcissist, and they want to be "fed".  If you stop feeding them attention they will stop the bad behavior and try something else.  At least that is what has worked for me.  It can be exhausting, though. 

I was hungrier than I thought, and ate most of my chicken strips.  When Ron's food came, I asked how much he wanted now and cut it for him, then put the take-home portion in the takeout container.  I helped him eat. 

When the bill came, I talked with Ron about the tip and we left a decent one, but not great.  I had to beg for refills of my drink, I don't like that. 

We called Arturo (Ron didn't want to be at the restaurant for the length of time paratransit had allotted, so he cancelled our ride home).  We went home. 

I checked the mail and took out some trash.  Ron had some drinks and went to his bedroom. 

I got on the computer.  Tomorrow we work on the accounting report, on my computer.  It should be an interesting challenge. 

I'll let you know how it goes.