I have been thinking about this recently.
Ron is mixed race, including French, Black, Native, and Spanish. He really can't be racist because he is everything. Most people take that and say Ron is black. Well, that's a part of it.
When I think of him I generally view him as "mixed", unless we are doing evangelism in a ghetto neighborhood, then I see Ron as conveniently"black".
I think we can all agree Ron treats me terribly. But, when he does, I never blame his race. I never think "Oh, that terrible black man is abusing me". Nope. I don't think of race at all. I just think he is being a butthead, not his race, or one of the races, that comprise him.
So, that said, I finished the soak cycle on my towels and am running a "deep wash" cycle. When that finishes in about 25 minutes I will throw some vinegar in the washer and run a "rinse and spin" cycle. Vinegar gets the suds out of a towel, and helps it smell better.
Then, into the dryer, and I will attempt to get a nap.
Ron startled me shouting a while ago, said he wanted to get out of his wheelchair. I looked at him laying in the tomato juice on the floor and told him he was on the floor. He said he wasn't.
And people wonder why I hate alcohol? Why I never drink!? It really degrades people.
I asked him what he wanted. He said he wanted to get out of the wheelchair because he felt cramped. I realized the wheelchair did sort of have him "cornered" so I moved the wheelchair away from him. He moved a little on the floor and was happy.
It looks so grisly, him laying on the floor in the tomato juice. If I have to call the paramedics today I will have to explain, outside "He spilled tomato juice" before I let them in the house or they will go into "trauma mode". Which is a good thing, but not at this point and time.
Of course Ron on the floor in the kitchen means I have very little access to my food, but I have some energy bars in the front room. And how sad is it that I am already planning for "next time" and how I can move some food to another place so he won't hold it hostage again?
But, in all this, I don't see him as one race or another. If anything I see him as "mixed" or "Creole" (wikipedia calls it "Creoles of color").
Mainly, I see him as a drunk. Jesus died for him, but it is very hard not to despise him at times like this.
5 comments:
What a waste of paramedic resources if you have to use them to come help him off the floor every time he falls because he’s drunk. Wth. DISGUSTING. What if that paramedic was being kept from someone who really needed them?
I remember last year you said after the Christmas holiday you would be leaving Ron. A year has passed since you said that and things have gotten worse with him. Shame how time passes so quickly and before you know it a year turns into 5 years and into another decade and another. What do you want for 2019?
Ron has called paramedics twice, period in his entire life. He did not need to call them today.
We have small districts in unincorporated Houston, in our district it seems pretty quiet. The district along 1960 (main shopping area) is likely a lot busier.
So I didn't feel guilty when he called them. Embarrassed, yes. At the time he didn't want to wait until he sobered up, to get in the wheelchair. As I recall one reader got upset at me because I HAD planned to leave him out in the garage until he sobered up.
So what is it? Am I a bad caregiver for leaving him to get up on his own? Or a "waste of resources" for "letting" him call for help?
To the second post, I made a commitment, I plan to keep it. Ron may not hold up his end up but I will hold up mine. As one reader is fond of saying, at the rate he is going he won't last long anyway.
So what you said last year about leaving him was all just BS then?
I was seriously considering it, but decided against it.
For one he is deteriorating pretty fast, physically, and can't really BE left alone. I mean, I plan to go to the store today but for days on end? No way.
I have an obligation to help him physically if nothing else. Two, fighting over assets (rolleyes) going to be REAL ugly.
He told me once if I left I could take his cat, as he admitted he can't care for her (litter box, mainly), but he might change his mind so another fight on that.
The sad thing, if I did leave him it would probably be what he needed to admit he had a problem and seek help.
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