Monday, April 25, 2022

Monday afternoon

 I finally got my hand cart put together.  I was worried it would be hard.  It was a little interesting as the cardboard box was held together with some pretty mighty staples, and the directions were translated from Chinese.  But I looked at the photo and got it figured out.  

I just didn't have the motivation to do it.  Doc says my primary depression symptoms is "loss of interest" which I have discussed before.  But I got it done.  

Tomorrow I need to arrange a ride to Food Town with Jack and see about it.  I think he will help if he can.  

I took a nap with Cleo, I didn't really sleep but I had a good time lying in bed with her.  She really only feels safe with me laying down which is fine.  But once I'm flat she is the cutest little thing purring, rubbing up against me, "Gimme pets!", just the sweetest and most loving little girl.  Compare that to 3 years ago with her running away from me when I had food in my hand and never, ever, letting me touch her.  So I am very proud of her.  

If something happens to me she will either have to go to a feral colony or to a very patient cat person.  She can never be picked up, for instance, I know that so I have never even tried.  She only loves me when I'm in bed... but if you're cool with that and want an awesome calico Cleo is your girl.  

My aunt has a friend who said she would have taken "all 5" last year so would likely take the 3.  So I don't worry about the guys if something happens.  

They have been very sweet and cuddly today.  That's nice.  

Problem is with depression no energy to cook.  So what do I eat?  I decided to go with an old standby.  I take a corn tortilla and put it on a plate.  Then top it with shredded cheese and microwave 30 seconds, when it comes out all gooey I fold it over and let it cool.  It's pretty good and the tortillas were still good.  I am glad I had the components.  Since it's just me I can't rely on Ron taking me out to dinner (old days) or getting delivery (also old days).  

My adoptive Mom talked about her single parent days (very difficult).  I think she would be OK with me letting out her ex bailed on her and 3 kids, with the youngest only a few weeks old.  She had to support them (back when it was difficult to get child support) on her salary as a secretary while paying for daycare out of her own pocket.  She said she used to dream of meeting a man who could cook, and prepare meals for the family.  

It's a lovely thought.  She ended up marrying an engineer (my Dad) who would burn water.  But he was pretty good at making a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich on white bread (gag).  I ate hundreds of those things growing up.  No wonder I was underweight.  Dad also used to pan fry flank steak every night for my dinner because it was the cheapest cut of meat, and determined that yes I would get hungry enough to eat the shoe leather he called "dinner".  He also did a decent scrambled egg so I ate a lot of those, too.  And milk, always drank buckets of it growing up.   

It is very nice having a meal fixed for me, if I do meet someone years down the road I will appreciate it, even if it's just a couple of fried eggs.  

When we first moved to Houston Ron's job opportunity dried up so he was aimless for a while.  He had to wait 6 months to get involved with the Blind Vendors program.  It is very difficult for blind people to find employment so he resolved to be the best husband he could.  Which meant getting up before me every morning, walking to the grocery store, buying a takeout breakfast for me, bringing it home, putting my electric kettle on to boil and preparing my lemon spice tea.  It was very sweet and thoughtful.  When he was like that I didn't care how long he had to wait.  He also unfortunately figured out the way to the liquor store.  He did like going to get fried chicken I was happy to teach him that route.  One of my bosses saw him one day and actually followed him back to the apartment, he was so impressed.  Then the boss came back to work and told me all about how Ron crossed the streets and found the right driveway all with a bag of chicken in his hand.  

All that to say I fixed a snack.  

I am trying to have raw and cooked meats in my freezer, which is only a few square feet.  I have done a pretty good job of that.  If I did have a bonus freezer I think I would have it about half meat and 1/4 vegetables, 1/4 prepared foods like the little lasagna meals.  This is just spitballing if I had a big lotto win or something.  Even a modest lotto win of say 50K I would get new roof and siding, get the freezer after having an electrician check out the works and see if my house could support it.  House is only rated at 100 amps so could be an issue.  Funny thing I do not play the lotto!  Just dreaming.  

I took out some of my aunt's breakfast casserole left over from Christmas I will have that for dinner with a side of veggies.  I am drinking a glass of mixed black and green tea with lemon.  I love lemons so much I think I need to put them in the grocery budget ongoing.  I don't do diet drinks at all now so the lemons fill a big gap.  

That's it for now.  

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