I got horribly depressed at work last night, they were playing all Ron's favorite songs.  I still managed to get it done, though.  

Came home (cab driver was disappointed no more rides for a while), called my parents, had a protein shake, went to bed.  I woke up once in the middle of the night.  I guess I am stuck with that; had some water and went back to sleep.  

Slept in a little with the cats yelling for breakfast, got up and fed them, got up.  About to take a shower.  I woke up with a pretty bad headache so I had some Excedrin and that helped.  I also had a small bottle of orange juice I still had some around, and had put it in the fridge last night.  

I need to get better about checking my sugar when I get up as maybe I do have low blood sugar in the morning when I have the headache.  

I have a lot to plan out the next couple days; big question, do I do my grocery shopping before I get paid?  I have my tax refund, I could use that and pay myself back when I do get my deposit.  I don't like to do that, though.  And I need to figure out when the fence guys are coming that is also going to determine a lot.  I am hoping they can come Tuesday.  

Oh, something funny.  Facebook had a listing for an administrative assistant at one of the local fire districts.  It looked like an interesting job and of course that would be awesome to help them help people.  But 2 things: they wanted a driving person (understandable), and they wanted someone with experience in the latest office programs, which I don't have.  So I am out, but it did pay $41K.  Did I mention I made $9K last year?  It got me thinking because I like watching Chicago Fire on Tuesdays on my local channel.  It does make me wonder if I should take some online computer classes just so I can say I have the basics.  Used to be I could  spreadsheets and format documents, I am sure it is easier now.  I also had Libre office and did my resume and cover letter on that.  So I'm not totally helpless... just a thought there in case another good office job comes up.  

I like retail, actually.  I like the customer contact.  I like people rushing up to me asking where are the condoms 😂 and other miscellany.  I just wish I could get more hours without killing myself like I did this last week... but it was notable as it was a holiday.  

And when I turned on the computer Facebook had a memory of Baby Girl so that was hard... I do miss her, and Torbie, and Ron of course, but I have had to be pretty stoic as I have to work, and people at work are very uncomfortable with grief.  One day one of my supervisors (last year) came up to me and said my productivity was lagging what was going on.  I told her I was missing my husband and she basically said I had to get over it and "move on".  Not exactly comforter of the year material.  Another time it was the same thing, I was obviously missing him and a coworker said "I don't want to hear about your dead husband".  So I am very limited in what I can 'show" outside the house.  And that carries over to inside the house as well.  

On the plus side my eating better diet has got me down to 208.  I wasn't sure I would lose eating this way as I do have a fair amount of rice but it is working.  Which is great.  I'm going to take my shower.

Also took my antidepressant and did my God Time.  I like to wait a little while out from a headache on taking the pills as they can bring back a headache.  I am eating some lazy woman red beans and rice.  I mixed a can of Walmart "Chili beans" with some plain white rice, it isn't bad.  It should be nice and filling.  I have some for dinner, too.  I love meat but I don't have to eat it "every" time.  And I do like beans.  Canned beans are a good fix.  Next week I plan to mix a can of garbanzos with a can of kidney beans.  ONe of my favorites, yum, yum.  

My enzyme drain cleaner comes today.  I want to eat up all the hair in my pipes I know I have it in there.  Also get all the junk out of the kitchen drains I am sure there is plenty.  I will probably do that tonight or tomorrow night.  That's the only thing I felt I really needed when I was figuring out what to do with my tax refund.  

I am taking a later bus today as I am tired of getting to work so early.  We will see how it goes.  It will be all new drivers for sure.  It looks like rain so I plan to bring my waterproof shoes.