Not a good night.
Started with the gravy all over the kitchen floor, he's crippled, I'll give him that. Binge drinking all night, did OK until about 4.
I wake up to a terrible crash and him screaming for me. He has gone in the computer room and pulled a heavy box over onto the floor, spilling the contents everywhere. It had been very organized. He is shouting some nonsense about getting into bed.
I told him he trashed my room and told him to get out, it was not his bedroom. Ensue hours of drunken ravings, falling out of his wheelchair, crawling around on the floor, a sanitary issue, wanting to "talk", babbling nonsense about paratransit trips and asking about the bill.
I have some of the business money set aside for emergencies. I AM taking $100 out of it and telling him I am FINING him for being a jerk.
Heidi is right, I shouldn't call him names, but "asshole" is the only thing that seems to work right now. I am so angry and sick. He kept babbling about a trip today, I just checked. I specifically told him I did not want a trip today, because the only time would be during the bad phase (terrible service). Happily, no trips.
I just turned on Skillet's "Out of Hell", loudly. That shut him up. I just need a break from the droning questions, demands, etc. And it is not something like "I need a urinal" it is "Why are you mad at me? Boy, you are really mad. You are a lithium [psychopath, but he couldn't pronounce it]"
Remember the scene in the movie, the girl is sick of her half brother? He is screaming and carrying on all night and she is babysitting, and she says "I wish the goblins would come and take you away"? That is how I feel right now.
The other important line in the movie 'You have no power over me".
Ron is under the misapprehension I am "stuck" with him, that, like a good Catholic (which he was raised), once I am married I can never, ever, leave. His parents stayed together for decades stuck in a miserable marriage because they believed that. "We can't split".
I am not stuck. My parents split, I think those who knew them would say they didn't split soon enough. I am so glad I don't have a child in the middle of this, I feel bad enough about the cats.
Now Ron is babbling about "wanting to go home" sitting naked on the floor in the doorway to his bedroom.
Someone once accused me of making all this up. I wish I were, I really do.
5 comments:
Heather I’m the lawyer who posted recently. You ignored it then. I know people in Houston who help abused women and people with medical issues—don’t ignore it this time. You need out. I can help.
She will ignore you because she doesn't want to get out if the situation. Plus she really shouldn't trust anyone claiming to be a lawyer online.
I just don't believe in taking the nuclear option if it's not necessary.
I know a couple of people who say they are lawyers, online. I am inclined to believe them as they have never asked for money. Also my uncle and a cousin are lawyers. My uncle did our wills, in fact.
A real estate lawyer saved our asses when we bought the house. The couple (pregnant) had planned to sell the house and "upgrade". Ron's whole family of 6 grew up in a family home about this size so I never got that. Anyway, the mother was laid off right before closing. Both agents (including ours) asked us to buy the house from the couple and then rent it back to them. We would be on the hook for all expenses and repairs, and they would be living in OUR house. Anyway this lady came along and explained how it would be a terrible idea, our agent was criminal, and no one should ever suggest this to a buyer, we would be YEARS getting rid of them. So we said no even though they thought I was a big bitch "kicking the pregnant woman out in the street" - I said her husband works at a big apartment complex, get one of the apartments. So they had the baby in a place half the size of the house they sold for being "too small!" God taught them a pretty good lesson I think, and our bacon was saved by an internet lawyer. They continued using our address to "save their credit" until I said I was throwing it all away (including bank statements they needed to buy the next home). Then they changed it.
So, often internet legal advice can really save your ass. I appreciate that.
To the commenter who said she shouldn’t take legal advice:
I’m a tier 1 lawyer that’s barred in another state. No way am I giving her advice. If she doesn’t want to leave that’s her choice.
What I would do if she needed it or wanted it is to show her groups that lawyers volunteer their time to in order to help abused women and handicapped people (you should do this regardless of Ron to see what you qualify for). I would let Heather research them and see what they do. If she chose to go to them I would let them know her story and help her explain what is going on beforehand so she can be better helped.
I’m not fixing her knowing part of the story or being her lawyer, but I know groups of lawyers who could aid her.
Thank you, see that is just the right amount of help. No name calling, just an offer "if you need it, I have some information for you".
And I appreciate that. I am very stubbornly committed but worst case I could call the Independent Living center, the Women's Center, or the local non profit NGO (NW Assistance Ministries). I also have the family I mentioned but I would only save them for a second opinion because they are super busy with jobs/kids/grandkids.
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