Get me out of hell (an actual Skillet song)

https://youtu.be/Ai8EG1zpMEs

OK, once you've got that loaded and playing you can read. 

I've had some bad headaches lately which has led to more caffeine which has led to altered sleep.  It is sadly funny that I was just thinking Ron was drinking a lot less lately, now that he has the Kratom.  Last night I walked by the kitchen as he pushed away from the counter, putting his bottle away in the fridge "That should do it". 

He did not want any Kratom, instead opting for a pain pill. 

I went to bed, fell asleep eventually (hard-won) and finally some peace.  I had a couple of cats in the bed.  They are good friends. 

I was awakened at 12:37 AM by Ron screaming for me.  I got up and looked in the kitchen, empty.  Bed.  Empty.  Floor is empty.  I looked by the front door because he loves going over there when he's plastered.  Found him.  I got him, told him to shut up, and took him to bed.  Excuses and apologies, I was not happy and reminded him of the time. 

I am not going to get into all the symptoms, but this ongoing combined with the loss of "obvious" things like certain words and the ability to do things, has led me to believe we are on the slide to dementia, which will end at the nursing home.  Probably a combination of the head injury and the alcohol - everything I ever read said that was a terrible combination, head injury and alcohol.  I will try to get him on some B-vitamins, that may help with alcohol dementia but there will come a point when I can't watch him anymore. 

I am not killing myself for this man.  He is sleeping comfortably right now.  I forgot to set my alarm. 

I didn't do kettlebells this morning for a couple of reasons: poor sleep, not enough time.  I can do them later or even tomorrow.  The point is getting them done a couple times a week. 

I got shorted an hour on my awake time but I obviously needed it.  I will have about enough time for a shower and helping Ron get ready, that's it.  I am OK with that.  I clearly needed the sleep. 

I asked Ron if he would like to get an evaluation for dementia and he said no.  I think he is scared of the results and what I will do with them.  But if this keeps up he is getting one anyway.