It's not often I "sleep" depressed with it smothering me like some sort of serial killer, tossing and turning to evade it but I can't because it's everywhere like a poisonous fog. Woke up feeling even worse.
Figured #1 order of business was getting the cats fed, then took all my morning pills (allergy treatments, multivitamin, and antidepressant), had some caffeine and back to bed. I hung out with the cats for a while, tip of the hat to both Biscuit and Cleo for being cuddle cats and Biscuit in particular purred very loudly at me, knowing I felt bad.
Eventually I got up, went to the bathroom, splashed some cleaner in the toilet after I flushed (plan to clean toilet later). I went through the carry-on size purple luggage I found in the garage yesterday and felt gut punched when I found several of Ron's pull up disposables wrapped up (unused) in a plastic bag. That dates the bag to sometime between 2016 and 2020. That was hard to see those again.
I also found my menstrual cup and I got it in some boiling water, I will "try" that later today. I am just spotting now but I don't trust it. My cycle I mean.
Ideally I will lose all the weight (down to 165) before I hit menopause and then go full menopause before I meet/marry anyone so I don't have to worry about birth control. I feel better about hitting menopause knowing my (blood count) numbers are so good for heart disease risk. Menopause does increase your risk for heart attack as my birth mother found out. And, I hear, it makes it harder to lose weight so I would rather get this "off" before that happens.
I am going to take my shower.
Just a quick note before I do my God Time. Got the cup in we will see what is going on with that tonight. I also used one of my "light" cloth pads.
One of my friends has a really fun ministry where they throw small New Testaments and other evangelism material off Mardi Gras floats during parades. I may look into going out there (Mississippi) next year and helping out for a few days. They said they would love to have me. That would be fun.
Just finished cleaning the shower enclosure. I think I killed, like, 3 species of mold in there. I can't remember the last time I cleaned it and boy was that depressing every morning. I also did 90% of the toilet, I scrubbed out the ring with my pumice and used the cleaner, scrubbed that and letting it sit. now I just need to scrub again in 10 minutes and flush. That's 80% of the bathroom work right there. I just need to get around the sink but that will be harder as I have all my junk up around the sink.
The cup did not bother me with all the bending and scrubbing so I apparently still remember how to insert it properly.
That's it for now.
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