Over it, already

So, you might think - if I was targeted who could have done it?  If it wasn't a former driver it was probably a former neighbor. 

The owner of #2 moved out and rented the house to 3 different families over the years.  One of them was "good", two were not.  All of the families had young boys.  Some also had teenage boys. 

The boys had their friends over every day.  The friends would often bring an older brother or two.  On several occasions I would find unfamiliar young men looking in my windows.  They had to cross the property line and walk about 30 feet.   One was in the backyard (having climbed over the locked gate), looking in the window, and when I confronted him he just sauntered off.  On another occasion, I found two boys looking in the window to the front room.  When I confronted them they said "Boy, you have a lot of books" and walked off.  Another boy I caught looking in the window - said he would mow the front (very small) yard for $20 but only if I brought him my lawnmower, then he left when I called Ron.   I told the renters I would look in the yard every day and throw back any balls I found, please keep your kids out of my yard.   Oh, of course!  The next day, I'd catch one of the renters kids climbing over my gate.  I caught many, many, children climbing over my 5-foot gate because "I lost my ball".   That all ended when the last family moved out.  The new ones are very messy but their friends don't invade. 

The odd thing - this all happened years ago.  Why would you "scope" the house - seeing it clearly had nothing of value, and then rob it 3-4 years later?  6?  I don't get that - it doesn't seem logical. 

I do know the current tenants are a lot better caliber, and a different race than the ones who robbed the house.  It wasn't them, and they have girls, thank God. 

Families with little girls seem to be much better neighbors.  Even my aunt says her boys got into mischief on occasion. 

Yes, I'm angry.  I'm a little bitter.  Why take the little we had?  It's like when I got mugged 3 years ago - and my mugger clearly had an affluent living situation.  He was just "thugging".  This is what the bad boys do, so I'll do it.   I'm going to terrorize you, beat your arms black and blue, and run away with your tote bag.  Thank God I saved my Bible and my Dr Pepper. 

I get tired.  A guy at church said "You've been robbed a lot" and I thought, yes, I have.  Just the house has been robbed twice, I've been personally robbed once, our accounts hacked twice, the business robbed at least half a dozen times that I know.  When we started the business, we were ordered to give the repairman a key - and he was stealing hundreds from us, every month, for about 5 years before I finally talked Ron into changing the locks.  Then, to add insult to injury, the guy tried to tell us a completely implausible story about the vending machines flying open on their own.  That was more insulting than the theft! 

A lot of this, I had to manage unmedicated - which means not very well.  I get tired.  I wonder why me. 

I have a tendency these days.  I have had enough of bad emotions, so I try to avoid them altogether.  I stuff them down and avoid them.  I realized the other day, I needed to get it out.  I had to FEEL.  I hate feeling. 

Feelings have overrun my life.  Feelings - dictating the kind of day I'd have, how I felt, how Ron felt, the people around me, all of it. 

I hate having to deal with all this negative emotion - I want to be over it, already.  I want to go back to living my boring life.  I want to lie in bed like I used to, without remembering that some thug threw the mattress against the wall.  I want to fall asleep like I used to, without thoughts running through my head like I had too much coffee. 

I want to be a good Christian, honor God, and be a good example of faith carrying me through.  I want to show people what God can do in their lives. 

I just wish my own life didn't have so much drama.   I really want a boring life. 

There's an old curse from a book I read "May you live in interesting times".  Good curse.