Handout Insert

I'm going to put one of these in each Bible.  I feel like God wants me to share a little more with the recipients.  My life in a page, ha ha: 

Why I hand out Bibles


by Heather B.



My mother was a bipolar alcoholic. She drank hard liquor every day she was carrying me, messing up my brain for life. I was disabled before I was even born. I'll never drive, or hold the "smart" job my Dad always wanted for me. Instead, I stock, and take care of my very disabled husband. How did I end up where you found me, on the street corner with the Free Bibles sign?



My early childhood was really, really bad. Child protective services had to get involved. My mother lost custody. My parents divorced. I started seeing things that weren't there, which scared everyone so much I stopped talking about it. Growing up was really hard. I was bullied, a lot, because I was different and no one understood I had brain damage (I was diagnosed at 17). I felt like no one understood me or cared if I lived or died.



My Dad always took us to church. One day, I was about 7, he gave me the Bible to read during the sermon. I was hooked. I loved the Bible. God had done so much! He came to Earth and died for me! Me! He loved me! I asked Jesus into my heart when I was 8.



Some of the worst things that ever happened to me after that involved my Bible - one time group of bullies played keep away with my Bible at camp. Another time, a bully stole my Bible and started ripping it up in front of me. A third time, someone stole a little Bible I had. Everytime, I was heartbroken.



I started having severe depression. People said it was due to my beginning, but I didn't believe it. I was right. They kept telling my parents I didn't have bipolar disorder, until I was 32 and all of a sudden I did have bipolar disorder. I had a lot of pain as a result of that - horrible depressions that lasted for months. Manias - "up" times where I felt like someone had given me crank. I never did any drugs but I felt like someone was giving them to me! I was paranoid, miserable, and wanted to die for years. The only thing that kept me holding on was my Bible - my Bible told me Jesus knew my pain, cried with me, and all this was working for good (Romans 8:28). I might not see it at the time, but God was going to use me for something wonderful.



When things were very bad, I couldn't even read the Bible. I'd just sleep with it, knowing God loved me and He'd pull me through this like He had all the other times.



When I finally found out I had bipolar disorder I immediately took all my medicine as directed - I don't drink, party, or do drugs. My doctor says I'm doing very well. I still have depressions but at least the manias are gone.



My husband was already blind when he was hit by a pickup truck, walking to work. He was in ICU at Hermann for a month. I brought my Bible with me, but no one else in the waiting room had a Bible! They were all hurting just as bad but no one had a Bible! That really bothered me, so I snuck in some Bibles when the room was empty (they make everyone leave for lunch). When I got back (I had to eat, too) everyone had a Bible. I was hooked.



God did amazing things. My husband should have died. If he lived, he shouldn't have been able to think. Instead, he is partly paralyzed on one side, a little brain damage (he's in good company), and that's it. He does our checkbook and everything. All the credit goes to God. The doctors even used the word miracle.



As I told people about this, and he got better, I found myself giving away more and more Bibles. My Bibles. Finally, I started buying Bibles to give away. I gave them to everyone I met. One day, in March, 2010, I had a picture in my head: me, on the corner, with a Free Bibles sign. If I have a thought in my head that matches the Bible, I go and do it. So, I did.



My first Bible Handout was me with a bad cardboard sign no one could read. I still gave them all away. A friend helped me make a better sign, and I bought more and more Bibles. My husband and I are self-employed, and about the same time business got really bad my friends started buying me Bibles to hand out. I guess I'm the only one "crazy" enough to do it! I'm just glad God can use me to share Bibles with you.



I want you to know I pray for you every day, I have been, and I will continue to do so. I care for you, and I hope you find the peace in God that I have found.