Friday, August 31, 2012

Theology and Bad Trips

"Why are we having such an awful time today?" Ron lamented "What is wrong?"

"Well," I told him "I guess somebody got saved out of that last Bible Handout - and Bad Things are furious!"  For once, Ron actually agreed with my theology.

If you care to hear it; here's Ron's theology.  Ron loves God, accepts Jesus' death on the cross, is saved.   His feels, since he's saved, he's had "enough trouble" in life and deserves to get taken up to Heaven, one way or another.  Ron also deserves an "easier" life, being saved, and God refuses to oblige him.  Because God refuses to do so, He is "Torture Man" or "Torch" for short.  Boy, I heard both names A LOT today.  Ron is happy to share God, ranges from neutral to supportive as regards my evangelism, and doesn't usually impede me.  He finds the concept of prayer and Bible study "pointless" and interrupts me frequently when I do my God Time, unless I shout repeated reminders.  "I'm doing my God Time!"  "Oh, sorry!  Tell Him to hurry up!"

My theology, in a paragraph: Jesus loves me so much He died for me.  I accept His gift of salvation, and do my best to live a moral life because I know that's pleasing to Him.  God wants me to share His message with everyone, so I do, however He directs me.  I pray and study my Bible daily, because I want to understand Him and do His will.  In the Bible, I am specifically promised a hard time:  John 16:33
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

So, I expect a hard time.  In fact, I use my trials as an "effectiveness thermometer" - if I have a lot of hassles, I figure I am doing a "Good Job" for God and therefore pissing off "Bad Things".  Bad Things being demonic entities, that exist to harass and torment believers and unreached, alike.  Where Ron sees disappointments and unanswered prayers; I see all the good things God is constantly pouring out for us.  

As you can see, some big differences.  Ron and I had some major fights; until God let me know He could defend Himself.  I just disagree with Ron when he's on a tirade and he agrees that of course I love "Torch", makes a disparaging remark, and changes the subject.  

I am also well aware the devil often uses Ron to attack me.  

Our first trip was pretty awful and I was very nearly late to my doctor's appointment.  No one's fault, just "bad trips".  

Ron wanted to talk to Metrolift, but had consistent problems getting through, for over an hour.  He was very aggravated.  Happily, I was off in my doctor's office talking to the student.  

I love students.  Doc likes me because I am "very stable", informed, self-aware, and willing to talk.  So, I did, not much.  I said I'm a little manic, but I'd rather be manic than depressed.  He agreed.  We talked about my lithium level for a while, and dosing.  He likes how I take all 4, at once, with my big meal.  I said all my other doses were fine, so he wrote new prescriptions.  

Then I left.  Ron was pretty awful for about an hour, trying to do the transportation thing.  Eventually we ate at the deli and got our ride home.  

Oh, my new "Frizz serum" was nice.  I really liked what it did for my hair - it really did keep it nice and smooth.  I'm glad I got it, and will probably get another.  I like how my hair feels nice and clean, and smooth.  The humidity makes it frizz a little.  

We finally got home.  I was exhausted - not just the medication, but all the stress of dealing with Ron and his black cloud of doom.   I would so, so, love to put him on antidepressants.  As of now, he refuses.  I just bet a Wellbutrin every day or so would...  [sigh]  See, this is where I take it to God, and say, Lord, if you want Ron on antidepressants please help it happen.  

Then I leave it alone.  

When I got home, I made sad noises out into the garage until Bubba came out and took a nap with me.  He's a sweet boy.  I sure love him.  We had a good nap.  

I plan to relax tonight.  We have to work tomorrow, but not long.  

Have a good weekend!  (((Hugs)))


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