Thursday, August 16, 2012

Good things

My ride is coming any second, but I wanted to develop my story a little.

Yeah, things were pretty awful.  I had material needs and no one molested me, but emotionally - famine.

But, during that time, I developed my faith in God.  Unfortunately I did have sex with Ron before marriage, for over a decade at that - I'll always be clear on my own sin issues.

I often wonder, would I have had all the bladder infections if I'd waited 'till marriage?  Only God could answer that.

At any rate, I believe God put us together to 1.  Help each other and 2.  Develop our faith.  I believe I would have a very weak and flimsy faith, if I'd had a good life.

I think faith is more of the steel-forged, tempering process.  Stuck in a hot furnace, hammered, stuck in water to sizzle, and back in the furnace again.

In fact, in the book of Isaiah he talks about being "Tested in the furnace of affliction" which could very well be my "life verse" (but I'm greedy and have a lot of favorites).  Another favorite verse, Psalm 71:1 - "In You do I put my trust, let me never be put to confusion" - so true.

God has taken a life that had very little potential for happiness - child abuse and neglect, meeting a guy who's admitted he was out for sex, I'm sure some see me as being exploited by him - and making a good, happy, life in spite of everything.

And I do, have a good happy life, and not just 'cause I'm a little manic today.  ((((Hugs))))

God can bring good things out of anything that happens to me.

I need to answer this, though:  Ron has not had hard liquor/blackouts/serious verbal abuse since late November of last year.  He has not talked on the chat line for over a year.  He is working as best he can, to be a  good and loving husband.  He hates going to church, but he takes me every week, because it's important.   He's working.  That's what matters to me.

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