Friday, August 17, 2012

I just have to laugh

I"m up late, for me.

I had a couple of random thoughts I thought I'd share.

*  The day of Ron's accident, I was notified by Ron's boss (Ron's family decided not to tell me and left me waiting for hours).  When he knocked on the door, I thought he was Ron, and opened the door stark naked.  For our boss.  I'm not sure who was more traumatized.

*  Within a month of Ron's accident, I lost my birth mother and my grandmother (the good one).

*  Ron's family swore they would help us.  "Trust us to get you what you need".  So, I did.  And then they dropped us like a phlegm wad when Ron said "Treat Heather with the respect due my wife", 12 hours before discharge.  I didn't have a bed for him (he slept on the floor due to back problems).  I didn't have a wheelchair, commode chair, or anything else.  I stole a bedpan from the supply closet!  I didn't have medications or groceries.  However, because they were so hateful, I was able to witness God's provision in miraculous ways.

*  Ron's parents loaned us an "extra" commode chair, but later repossessed it when the other kids  made them pick sides.  Who takes a commode chair from a blind man in a wheelchair, when they already have one?  Their own son, no less!?   I got another chair off the internet, it came fully assembled and delivered, for a very reasonable price.  It even has a lid, not that we use it.

*  That same year, I also lost both cats.  One had to be put down due to vicious biting, the other died of cancer.

*  At the end of 2003, I adopted Bubba, whom I've had ever since.  I also adopted Baby Girl (more on her in a minute).

*  In 2004, we bought the house.

*  The day we closed on the house, I got salmonella from a bad scrambled egg at a restaurant.  I needed the commode chair for a while.  Ron made a great nurse.  I was violently ill, and we delayed the move by 2 weeks.

*  My cat Baby Girl died the day we moved in, poisoned by my former neighbors (because I had asked them to keep their toddlers out of the street).

*  A crackhead broke into our garage a few months after that, I ran outside naked and got his license plate (I was not medicated at the time).  He was convicted on a bigger burglary charge, and also because I think the DA didn't want me on the stand.

*  When I was mugged, I fought bitterly, beating him badly - because my Diet Dr Pepper was in that bag.

I'm sure for some people, this is awful, horrible, stuff.  For me, I try to look at it with amusement; look how crazy my life has been.

I also look back at all that and praise God it will never be that bad again.

I just HAVE to laugh at the weirdness that's been my life.

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