Sunday morning

 I couldn't find my stick yesterday.  I worried I had left it in my shopping cart when I went home but as it turns out I left it in the break room.  Ace took me to work so no problems there.  

Work was very busy, my boss took me off my primary job and had me on something else most of the day.  I didn't mind but my coworkers did; I guess that's a statement they like me doing my job.  Normally I give the one girl a break but did not (boss wouldn't let me).  Last week this girl took a half hour break and I think the boss noticed, as the boss gave the break yesterday.  And you can bet she came back on time!  

One thing I didn't like, and I have considered her a friend, the Bible says not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers and she came in an hour early with someone who is NOT a friend of Jesus and spent an hour walking around the store with them.  They both also gossip tremendously so I am sure that was happening as well.  

Which is why I put nothing on the Facebook I wouldn't want the world to know about; because, sure as the sunrise, anything I tell this woman "in confidence" will go right back out to the world.  

At any rate I had a fine day considering.  I came home on the bus.  I was resentful standing at the bus stop, wanting to sit down, but thinking about all the times I know of I have seen feces, blood, etc. smeared all over bus stop seats and how I would rather sit on the ground - but, guess what?  They do all that on the ground, too, so I had to stand after a long day on my feet.  The bus driver was surprised at the candy but happy to take it.  

I was able to listen to some music on the way home that helped. I always use headphones.  I didn't have a long layover between buses so that was nice.  

My last bus ride, about 5 stops from the house, I got up as the bus driver swerved to avoid a pothole and hit it anyway.  So the bus took a big dip and then bounced as it jerked to the side.  And I wasn't holding on to anything so I went flying and I felt a wrench in my lower back.  I could still move OK so I figured I would go home and see how I felt today.  I was home by 6.  

When I got home I took a handful of ginger root capsules (anti-inflammatory) and 2 naproxen (the OTC kind) hoping that would help my back.  

I talked to Mom and Dad, turns out she was just tired from driving yesterday.  They didn't talk long other than to say I shouldn't go to church as I am still coughing, etc.  

I went to bed early.  

When I woke up my back was great.  So God was very merciful in sparing me whatever would have likely happened.  It was a bad wrench I should be stuck in bed today and unable to work for weeks.  But I'm fine, Praise Him!  

I will take some more ginger root but I don't think I need more Naproxen.  Moral of the story, don't get up when the bus is moving.  

So, the homewrecker thing.  This is deeply humiliating for me but bears sharing and I think sheds quite a light on my relationship with Ron.  

When I met him we were both in a job training program, me for special needs teens and him for special needs adults.  He was "only" blind back then.  I had the FAS (newly diagnosed but didn't know the label) and "depression".  

They put us on registers next to each other I think because all the kitchen staff at the restaurant spoke Spanish.  And blind men in fast food kitchen would be just really bad.  Plus he had cash register experience.  

After training me they put me next to him, I could help him out, we were both outgoing people.  We hit it off immediately and started dating within a week.  

He would talk about a female friend, C, now and then.  Ron's girlfriend had left him to go live with C's husband so they had a bond.  I thought that was cool.  He assured me they were friendly only.  I believed him.  

Ron said now and then she didn't approve of our relationship because C had a teenage daughter and there was obviously some subtext going even I could catch but I didn't know what.  At any rate she rose above all that and went above and beyond to be nice to me.  

It was only 8 years later, as we were moving from CA, that Ron told me he and C began an affair after their mutual breakups and he had been actively involved with her when he met me, but of course I swept him away...[rolleyes] True love and all that.  

It explained the cheating, I think.  He cheated with me, he'd cheat on me.  To my credit I did not know of a relationship.  But I broke it up.  

Now I have to go back even farther.  When I moved to CA I didn't fit in because I was weird!  I was a bookworm reading science fiction all day and mentally ill to boot.  I met another outlier named John and we became friends, talked a lot.  We had some things in common and talked a lot on the phone.  

I believe he also has FAS.  

He had a very annoying habit.  He would get distracted by the TV when talking to me and put the phone down, forget me.  He probably has the inattentive ADD.  After a few years he decided he loved me and pressured me into a relationship.  

I went along because what 13 year old doesn't want a boyfriend?  We didn't do much more than some making out in the bushes at the park one time.  But he would make comments now and then.   

One thing I found, still do, find deeply concerning.  He liked to take me to the movies.  This time we went to Beetlejuice.  He kept talking after how great it would be if we were dead we could stay together forever.  

And every alarm bell I had went off like a klaxon.  So I broke up with him (not then and there).  I am ashamed to admit I would break it off, start it up when I got lonely, break it off again.  We didn't do much other than a little kissing and the one time I already mentioned.  

But he was even stranger than me and that was saying a lot.  When I moved out I did not tell John my plans.  

Years later after Ron had cheated on me I decided to look John up and see how he was doing (terrible).  He was still living with his parents, had gained about 100 pounds, been fired from McDonald's, you get the idea.  

Ron was always very threatened by John and would make comments like "Your old flame" etc. and act very jealous.  I was curious and hoping to rekindle FRIENDSHIP only.  What we had when we were 11 and could talk about the unfairness of the world.  I never did.  

So enter a few years later John calls me up says he met a girl and got married, would like me to meet her.  Great!  I was very happy for him.  

I picked a date at random and we met at the train station (my county had commuter trains).  She remarked she was missing a very popular concert for this and John reminded her she could have gone.  We hung out at a arts and crafts fair for a while, got something to eat.  John leans across the table during the conversation at one point (I always put the "Ron is wonderful" image out to John), took my hand in his, and said "Heather, you're the only woman I've ever loved".  

I reminded John his wife was right there.  "Oh, she knows".  Oh, crap.  No wonder she seemed so resentful all day.  When I moved I did not tell him.  

He found me online somehow about 18 years ago and sent me a letter, said he had looked me up on the property tax database and saw I had 2 bedrooms, he had been homeless for a few years and looking for a place to stay, etc.   I wrote him back and said no that was the last I heard.  

So I guess that's 2x.  Oh, and John's marriage broke up.  Not directly because of me although I may have been a factor.  

I hope he doesn't find the blog!  

That's it for now, I'm going to take a shower and get some groceries.