Forget being a battered wife, daughter of a bipolar alcoholic, wife of another alcoholic, I think I could really use advice on how to deal with food.

I was starved as a baby, my mother wouldn't feed me.  The others in my house had work and school so I went probably 12 hours a day, most days, unfed lying in my own waste.

That leaves a scar, like being hit by someone who claims to love you.  Something breaks in that moment you can never regain.

I couldn't depend on anyone for food.  It took me years to catch up on the growth charts.  I remember going to the dr and my adoptive Mom would praise me for growing and gaining weight.

But my birth mother was supposedly a very good cook.  I can't remember one meal she served me.

I have a very complicated relationship with food as a result.  I hate the fact I have to eat.  I eat when I am stressed out.  I buy vegetables I never eat.  

I could probably use a year of therapy on that.