I did the dishes, rinsed them, sanitized them. I ate my dinner, I call it 'mystery meat" (leftover pork roast) from the freezer. Took my pills. Called my parents they are doing well. I was honest in saying I had problems with depression. Dad was a little upset said he had prayed for me this morning.
See, this is one reason I could never harm myself, Dad would likely lose his faith.
Anyway I am feeling a little better. So after we finished I took out my chub of Kroger ground sausage.
I have a system for cooking ground meat. I clean out my skillet with hot water and a metal scouring pad (no soap). I dry it then add a couple tablespoons of lard, heat that up and then add the meat. And it began to stick and burn. The other sausage brands I have been using have, apparently, a much higher fat content so they don't do that. I had a heck of a time wrangling/cooking the sausage. I will not be buying it again even though it smells good. You wouldn't believe the amount of fat I had to add just to keep it from sticking and burning.
Anyway it's done. I will have 4 lunches out of that. Tomorrow I will make my tuna or chicken salad which will be my dinners. So I'm glad that's done.
Today has felt like climbing a mountain. Some days are just harder than others.
Interesting fact. I have had depression since I was about 10 or so. Off and on my whole life, really. I figured when Ron died I would have a different sort of pain but it's still the same old depression, just more frequent. That is sad somehow. You would think my grief would take a different form. That bothers me when I think about it, I would think I would be more weepy and "sad" instead I had insomnia, anxiety, and worsening depression.
It doesn't seem fair somehow.
Sorry for the pity party tonight. That's it for now.
5 comments:
Prayer will not cure your depression. Medications barely treat it for you. Why would he lose faith over something like that? Does he foolishly believe prayer fixes everything? It doesn't. That's why you take your medications. Don't let your dads head in the sand nonsense make you feel worse. He has been doing that since you were a baby and you were being neglected by your mother while he did nothing about it.
Was it turkey sausage? That would explain how lean it was. Sounds like you made it work.
No this was pork. It was pretty forgettable. I keep looking for a really good ground pork sausage and keep coming up short.
About my Dad, he's an engineer. It was hard for him to wrap his head around mental health issues.
I hope I didn't convey I thought prayer would take away my depression; that is with me for life. Prayer I want to bear up under it and do good work for God and my employer, be a good family member to my loved ones, take care of my cats, in spite of the depression. That is what I ask God for.
Have you ever used Pam for frying? Food never sticks, you use less oil or lard and it makes cleaning easier.
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