My eggs are done

I just had to help boost Ron into bed.  That really sucked.  Definitely a full blown migraine. 

I am too wiped out to write much but I will share some highlights. 

Ron falling out of bed, I had to pick up his legs and shove him back into place.  He wasn't happy about it but he's not on the floor.  He has a very odd way of getting into bed that is too hard for him when drunk. 

Ron raving about his ex girlfriend (mid to late 80's)'s mother.  The woman was apparently a racist and said some things to her daughter, which she then conveyed to Ron.  The daughter also related some private advice her mother had given her regarding men in general, and he was going on about that. 

I told him, some men and women - BOTH groups, look down on the other group.  So yes, some old lady from 40 years ago looked down on you as a man.  So what?  She is probably dead by now.  What does it matter?  Some women look down on men - so what?  Some men look down on women - so what?  They are just losing out in life when they do that and they suffer the most. 

The daughter was not a faithful woman and ended up getting hooked on crack.  Things got so bad the Guide Dogs took her dog.  They only do that in extreme situations.  She cheated with Ron, she cheated on Ron, she cheated on the next guy.  I don't know why he thinks of her at all. 

Ron used to hold her up to me as a role model of a "sexually free" woman and an impeccable housekeeper.  Well, good for her.  At least I'm not a whore. 

Then (not in chronological sequence) Ron started drinking and began raving about how he wants to tune out, wants pot legal, etc.  It confirmed I am not giving him anything.  It would not benefit either of us if I did. 

Next up we had (and I was wishing Ron had just stayed asleep), the other Ron subject: kids.  His Catholic upbringing tells him he committed a sin by refusing to have children.  He feels a lot of guilt about that.  He kept raving and making excuses and complaining to God, etc.  I finally snapped and told him my eggs are done!  I doubt you could get me pregnant if you took me to a fertility specialist.  That made him feel better.  The honest truth, if God wanted us to be parents (and felt we would be good ones), I would have gotten pregnant anyway.  Ron would make a terrible father, he is an alcoholic, plays head games, etc.  I wouldn't inflict that on a child. 

I am battling a horrific migraine.  I wouldn't inflict that on my kids, or the endemic mental illness on both sides of my family, AND his.  The child would never have a chance.  But I've gone on about this before. 

It wouldn't be fair for the child to have a disabled mother, especially the mental illness, can't even drive them to the hospital in an emergency.  I do make a decent cat mother. 

Oh, my head is killing me. 

The pharmacy called, they filled the entire prescription within a few hours of the request.  They don't mess around with anti psychotics. 

I feel terrible but I know the headache has to pass eventually.  I am just glad I figured out it was a rebound headache.  It tripped a migraine withdrawing from the headache pills but I will get through it and be a LOT more careful in the future. 

They should put that on the headache pills, only use 1-2 times a week.  I was using it a couple times a day, most days. 

I am going to go check out trips for tomorrow. 

He has us going out to dinner after work and an errand.  I will have him cancel that: 1.  I am not going out on Valentine's day and 2.  I don't want to eat. 

Moderately queasy.  I think I will take my bucket with me tomorrow.