Making lemonade

Ron had a bad night for pain, which kept me up.  I did get some sleep, though, and woke up at 3. 

I lay there in bed trying to sleep.  I was simply too alert.  I finally figured, one, I had gone to bed around 7:30.  I remember Ron making "comments" about it.  He is not taking my medication! 

OOps.  I just remembered I forgot to take the skin off the chicken thighs, before I put them in the crock pot. 

Anyway, I had "gotten" "about" 8 hours of sleep.  I was alert.  Why fight my natural clock when I didn't have a headache?   I could always take a nap later. 

So I got up.  I put the liner in the crock pot, then the chicken (but, as I said, forgot to take the skin off).  I added the tomato sauce and the spices.  I closed it up.  Now I let it cook for 12 hours.  I like to do 12 hours, it gives the flavors time to mingle. 

I got on the computer for a while.  It seems "enough" people have had "homeless" encounters similar to mine, with belligerent, entitled, alcoholic, drug addict, unmedicated mentally ill, so they "get" what I am saying.  I have no problem helping someone who had hard times, but I do have a problem pouring more money down a hole of addiction. 

And yes, I have a lot of experience living with an addict.  First my mother and now Ron, both with alcohol.  What I have seen has turned me off alcohol completely, and made me very careful what I put in my own body. 

Several years ago, one of Doc's medical students talked to me for a while before my "visit".  That is standard, talk to the medical student for a while so they can meet a "real" bipolar.  One commented she could see my tremor, and knew, without looking, I was taking lithium.  Doc gave her a gold star for that one.  Anyway, this guy asked me a little about my life.  I didn't think much. 

I told him I was a caregiver, small business owner.  No, I didn't sleep very well some nights.  Yes, I had anxiety, but was trying to reduce the caffeine.  No big deal. 

Until the pharmacy called and said my SIX prescriptions were ready.  Six?  I only get four.  I asked what they were, and she said, a sleeping pill and anti-anxiety medication.  I said HELL NO and told her to send them back, I did NOT want them, as they are HIGHLY addictive.  The next time I met Doc he said he agreed with me, and gave reasons.  Basically the drugs turn on things that should not, and damp down things that should be active. 

I just know they're addictive and I don't want them.  I don't want anything addictive, one reason I have never looked for "pain control" for my migraines.  And, from what I read, a lot of them cause rebound headaches - worse and more frequent headaches in the long run. 

I am not happy about Ron taking his medication, but even though it can cause dependence it doesn't seem to get him high.  From what I read, if a person has severe pain the medication will not work on the "get high" receptor, it will only work on the pain buttons.  Good to know. 

So I'm up at 6 AM now.  I think I will watch CSI for a while, drink some more sugar free punch (fasting until 11), and look in on my crock pot now and then.  It has a clear lid so I can look. 

Ron drank some when he got up, but he went back to bed pretty quick.  I helped push him back to bed, told him Biscuit was waiting for treats, and helped give treats.  I just told Baby Girl he was lonely and needed a cuddle.  That would make his day, if she laid down with him.  I may lie down in another hour or so.  Try to get a nap. 

I always worry about getting enough sleep because it affects me badly, if I don't.